Something Changed
by xX-Misty
Summary: 1996 sequel to Whispering Her Name: A chance meeting brings Shaz Granger back into Alex's life but with the death that brought Shaz to Gene's world originally now just weeks away can Alex save her life this time around - and will there be consequences?
1. Prologue: The Start

_**Author's Note: This is the 1996-set sequel to Whispering Her Name. Usual disclaimers, do not own A2A, blah blah, eats mice. (anyone gets that reference, I will propose marriage!)**_

_**For the purpose of this story I am taking Shaz's death from the shooting script on the Monastic Productions website for S3 ep8 – although the writers have been quoted as saying a couple of different dates around 1995/1996 the one on the shooting script (19**__**th**__** April 1996) works out better for my timeline so that's the one I've gone with.**_

**~xXx~**

**Prologue**

**19****th**** April 1996, Real World**

She shouldn't even have been there.

Of everything that was the most heart-breaking thing to accept. She wasn't supposed to be on that street, she was on patrol several blocks away. It wasn't her call, it wasn't even her station.

The smell of the burning caught her attention to the arsonist's latest victim. Broad bloody daylight too. They were getting cocky now. Some other team from some other station were already dealing with it but it was borderline territory so she was glad to help. The sight of the house destroyed by flame, the crying family who had nothing left to call their own, it broke her heart.

Of course, this was the reason she joined up. To help people. To stop this sort of thing from happening. She'd been so proud to join, to wear the uniform, to go and serve the good people of the country. But it was the bad ones who were getting her down.

Disillusioned. She'd seen more shit since she joined than she had seen in the bucket in the cells. She only found herself becoming angrier and more frustrated as time went on. It was getting worse, not better.

"_You'll become hardened to it_," people had told her, "_soon it won't affect you."_

She wished.

The arson attack had been the final straw, or so she thought. Her anger boiled up inside and she left her own patrol to join the manhunt in the local area. It was thought the suspect was still nearby somewhere. She was given a map, a finger jabbed in the direction she should search and off she went. Never a second thought. Never questioned it for a moment.

Turning a corner, trying another road, there she saw a young man in the distance, pressed up against the side of a car. It was pretty damn clear to her what he was doing and her boiling blood began to bubble over.

She barely noticed the strains of _Wonderwall_ playing from an open window nearby or the pounding of her feet on the ground as she ran towards him. She didn't even stop to think, not for a moment.

"Stop right there!" she cried, "Drop it!"

He stopped. He looked up. There it was, in his hands – the screwdriver. It glinted a little in the daylight. She didn't even see the damn thing amidst her fury, all she saw was the man beginning to turn and run. She wasn't going to let him. Not for one moment was she going to let that thief get away. She grasped him, tried to hold him firmly but before she knew it he was fighting back. As hard as she tried to keep control of him he was bigger and stronger and she couldn't stop him from plunging that screwdriver right into her guts, then with one harder, deeper push he buried the metal even deeper inside as he pushed her back against the wall in the self-same motion.

The pain. There were not words to describe it. The agony was physical and mental. Her body screamed out as she slid to the ground, her life ebbing away, while in her dying moments her mind begged and pleased for a miracle. She was so young – why did this happen to her? To someone so bright and full of ambition?

She hadn't even had a life.

**~xXx~**

**28****th**** March 1996, Gene's World**

Alex walked along clutching her take-away latte. She knew Gene would not be impressed if he found out she'd been sloping off without him to Latte Land but he was out on a call with half of CID and, she supposed, he never had to find out. It made her feel a little like a rebel; she was living outside of the law. The Gene Genie's law, that was.

She decided it was her turn to be crowned _Coffee Drinker of the Week_. Just about everyone else had already had a turn. Why not her? She just had to make a point of going for more coffees. No problem.

Her mind was wandering a little. There were some cases that were playing on her mind and she was concentrating far too much on those than on where she was walking. Unfortunately a young WPC seemed to have the same problem, head in the clouds and mind a million miles away. As the two of them collided crossing a quiet side road Alex's first thought was – _Shit! Hot coffee_ and her eyes immediately went to her cup to make sure none was going to spill onto her hand or onto the woman she'd crashed into.

"Oh, god, madam, I'm so sorry," the young copper said quickly.

"No, I'm sorry," Alex apologised, "I don't know where my head was. Are you OK?"

"I think so," the young lady said and for the first time caught Alex's eye.

The effect on her was instant. She had never felt her heart react so quickly. It started to beat so erratically she thought she was about to suffer a heart attack right there and then. She stepped back a little as the young woman's pretty features sank in. Her dark eyes, her pale complexion, her innocent expression. They all led to a gasp from Alex and a whisper of a name.

"_Shaz,"_ she couldn't stop herself.

The young girl looked at her. She blinked in confusion.

"Sharon," she said, "I'm PC Sharon Granger." She paused, "Do I know you?"

Alex pressed her hand to her chest as the shock washed through her whole body. She found herself trembling just a little as she licked her lips nervously, donned a thin smile and whispered,

"No, I don't think you do."

"Are you alright, Madam?" the young woman asked, a little concerned.

Alex swallowed.

"I'm fine," she whispered, "You just look… look awfully like someone I used to know."

The young PC gave a slightly nervous and strained smile.

"Well, If you're sure you're OK," she said, stepping away. "And I'm sorry, again."

Alex gave a nervous smile.

"That's OK," she said quietly as she watched her leave. She couldn't calm the thumping of her heart or the shaking of her hands as she clung to her latte cup. She closed her eyes for a moment and sank to the ground. She couldn't comprehend this. She was used to running into people she had known from _her_ past existence, from the real world, but never had she met one of her colleagues from their 'past life'. _"Oh my god,"_ she breathed, _"Shaz."_

She felt tears filling her eyes. She missed that girl terribly. The nights they sat in Luigi's, drinking wine; all the times Shaz had been there, so helpful and eager, the times they had paired up with an_ 'us and them' _attitude, the women Vs the men. _Oh, Shaz._

Sitting there, in the middle of the street, Alex couldn't have felt more confused or peculiar. That was a face she never expected to see again. It was someone she'd said goodbye too so very long ago. In fact she'd never even said goodbye, the last thing she'd said to Shaz was that she was going to the toilet in the Railway Arms and the next thing she knew she was climbing out of the toilet window.

"_I've missed you, Shaz,"_ she whispered, bit even as she spoke she wondered if she would ever see her again. It was such a chance meeting. She'd never run into her before. Was that a once-only opportunity?

Slowly she rose to her feet and dusted herself off a little. She had to get back, she knew that much, she'd said she was only going to be gone for a few minutes and didn't want Gene to be back at the station, throwing accusing looks at her _Latte Land_ cup when he realised there was no extra one for him.

All the way back, she shook and trembled, and could not get that face out of her mind.

The young cop with a whole life ahead of her, cut so tragically short.

How much life did she have left here and now? It wasn't an easy question to answer, but it was certainly the one that plagued Alex all the way back to Fenchurch East.


	2. Chapter 1: The Afternoon Encounter

**Chapter 1**

Alex looked around a little nervously as she arrived back at Fenchurch East. There seemed to be no sign of Gene. For that she was grateful on two counts; the first that he wouldn't be able to chastise her about going to Latte Land without him and the second that she needed some time alone to come to terms with her encounter on the street. Her hands were still trembling as she opened the door to her office and stepped inside. She sat down quickly and clung to her cardboard cup as though it could somehow keep her grounded.

The last few months had been fairly plain sailing, by their standards at least. After an abundance of strange goings on following her return to Gene and 1995, the new year saw a calmer time for all of them. There seemed to be fewer bleedthroughs or messages for anyone, almost as though nothing much was going on out there at all. The fact that Jim Keats was lying, unconscious, in the hospital could have been coincidence or it could have been a big factor, there was no way of knowing.

There had been a shift in her relationship with Gene since her return. Although so many aspects of the world were becoming more uncertain the fact that he was no longer fearing losing her to Molly had given him more of a focus on committing to her and after ten years of skirting around the subject he was finally putting some actions around what they always knew was there. He'd signed the lease, made the flat _theirs_ instead of _hers_ for the first time. The ring that Alex had thought was as far as the engagement would go had led to a couple of "_When we get married I hope you won't be wearing a bloody meringue,"_ and _"any chance of you getting a pair o' those for the wedding night?" _comments.

In fact, despite what they'd all been through in the latter months of the previous year it was the most stable and reassured that Alex or Gene had felt about their future since she made that leap of faith and jumped out of the window all those years ago.

Until now.

Alex stared at the cup in her hands. Just a few minutes ago that cup had been part of the collision that had shaken her so deeply. Her hands were still trembling and she didn't know how to stop them. She held her cup firmly as though the heat could stop her from shaking but it was cooling down now - and wouldn't have worked anyway.

_Knock knock_.

Alex jumped terribly as a knocking sounded and the door opened a little.

"Alex, is Gene back yet?"

Alex looked up feeling almost guilty. There was Simon, in the doorway, still stuck in his _Sam Tyler emulation mode_ with the haircut and the jacket. She gave a thin smile and tried to cover the logo on the cup, just in case.

"No, no, I don't think so," she said quickly, "I haven't seen him anyway."

"Damn," muttered Simon.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, it's just, there's a guy out here with a…" he trailed off as he saw Alex's face looking paler than he'd ever seen and her hands shaking. "Alex? Are you OK?"

Alex nodded slowly.

"Fine," she whispered.

"You're shaking."

"You just made me jump a little," she said quietly, "I was miles away. That's all."

Simon felt a little guilty.

"I'm sorry, Alex," he said quietly, "I didn't mean to startle you."

Alex wanted to move on as quickly as possible.

"You were saying?" she prompted, "there's a guy with a what?"

"Oh, with a stapler, asking for somewhere to recharge it and where the," he checked the note he'd written on his hand, "_mother-fucking hell his shitty damn_ office is."

Alex groaned and put her head in her hands.

"Oh shit, another one."

"Yeah," Simon said slowly, "and I still have Vickery so I'm guessing this one's Gene's."

"Or it could be mine," Alex said a little reluctantly.

"Gene _has_ still got Kim," said Simon.

Alex gave a deep groan that radiated through the walls.

"Shit, he _could_ be mine." She hesitated. "Might just leave it for Gene to find that out though. He's better with filing cabinets than I am."

"That is a good point."

"And he has all the papers."

"That is true." Simon peered over his shoulder to check the random interloper wasn't about to cause himself a mischief with a stapler and glanced back at Alex. "Anyway, I'm just nipping out. Won't be too long."

"Watch out for staplers that are armed and dangerous," Alex warned as he left but quickly her spirits sank again. Staring at her hands once more, the thought of Shaz came back into her mind. It wasn't a meeting she was going to get over in a hurry.

~xXx~

Gene wasn't going to be happy to get back to CID and find the place full of empty Latte Land cups, none of which belonged to him. Simon was pretty certain of that. But he was just going to have to like it or lump it. It was either that or find a row of cold ones on his desk and that would only piss him off more.

The sight of Alex's cup had inspired Simon to go and get a coffee of his own. It served a double purpose – it would give him a caffeine boost to keep him going for a while and would be a good excuse to avoid the stapler guy until Gene established whose he was.

He was flagging, his energy depleted. But then, he hadn't eaten all day. That wasn't unusual for Simon these days. It wasn't that he wasn't hungry or didn't feel that gnawing inside when he missed his lunch or skipped breakfast but food simply didn't figure to him as important any longer. Becoming more of a mess with each passing day, he lived on coffee all day and beer all night, at least until every now and then the ache in his stomach grew so bad that he would pick up as much junk food as he could carry and gorge himself until he thought he was going to lose it all back down the toilet.

He just couldn't face food. Proper food. The giver of life from which he couldn't shake away the connection to Robin. He worked so hard at trying to block out the pain of being apart that he couldn't even think about eating for most of the time. He could feel his stomach roaring as he walked along but just pulled his jacket around himself a little tighter to block it out. A strong coffee would soon sort him out, he was sure. Hell, maybe he could even win back his _coffee drinker of the week_ status from Vickery who had taken to hiding in Latte Land instead of the canteen when the lady with the fat arse banned him for making fun of her colander.

Simon took a different route to Latte Land these days to approach the shop from the other side and avoid the leather shop completely. It added almost ten minutes to a round trip but at least he didn't hear the voices this way. The voices were about the only strange thing he was still experiencing. All the weird bleedthroughs and visions he'd had over christmas seemed to have stopped. He didn't know whether he was pleased or sad about that. On the one hand they'd been freaking him out terribly, but on the other side it made him worry about Robin. How did he know if he was OK if he didn't see or hear him in glimpses? And he missed him so much, even seeing a hint of him had been better than nothing at all.

His thoughts wandered as he walked along. He couldn't seem to keep them straight. _Coffee,_ he thought. _The coffee will sort me out._

Across the other side of the road he heard the voices of teenage lads, hyped up and excited about their upcoming Easter holidays.

"_Last day tomorrow!" _one of them cried.

"_Half day,"_ another corrected.

"_Anyone want to go into town after we leave tomorrow?"_

The third voice made Simon halt as his heart gave a hard thump and his stomach clenched up like a fist. His eyes quickly turned to the three boys. One was walking slightly ahead of the other two, pointlessly heading a football in a carrier bag, the handles held tightly in his hand, while the other two were walking together a little behind him, one with a big bag slung over his back and a hockey stick in his hand, the other carrying a Tupperware box with what appeared to be a really rather sumptuous looking cake inside. Even despite the extra-heavy fringe covering half of his face, Simon knew who it was. His heart recognised him even before his eyes did.

"_Robin,"_ he breathed. He backed up against the wall as his heart began to beat faster and his hands began to tremble. In all the months since young Robin had been taken from his house by his older self and taken to hospital he hadn't run into the boy. Not once. Yet there he was, right across the road. Despite what he'd been through six months before he seemed so bright and full of life, dark hair falling across his eyes, cheeky smile. It was _him._

"_I gotta go,"_ the boy with the bagged football told them, disappearing down an alleyway.

"Bye, Ant," Robin and his friend chorused with a wave and carried on walking.

As Simon watched them something sparked inside of him. He seemed powerless to fight it. Drawn to the young image of the man he missed so much, he just needed to follow; to see where he went, to make sure he was OK. Suddenly his coffee was long forgotten. Something new had taken his focus and his feet led him in the direction of the young man with the floppy hair.


	3. Chapter 2: The Easter Egg of Doom

**Chapter 2**

"Shoebury, a word."

Uh-oh. Nothing good ever came from Gene appearing at the door and saying those three words. Simon looked up and saw from his expression that his caution was well founded. What had he done now? Surely nothing to do with Latte Land, he'd never even gone there in the end. _Oh, please don't say Stapler Guy is mine…_

"I'll just finish this," he began but Gene cut him off.

"Not yet you won't," his glare told Simon he was very serious indeed. Simon gulped and got up from his desk. That was a glare no one wanted to see.

The walk to Gene's office felt like a form of torture by itself. It was a little like being led to the gallows. The stomp in Gene's walk told Simon that he was in some kind of trouble_. Big_ trouble. This seemed on par with _Keats-on-the-hospital-roof-possible-nipple-fondlage_ trouble.

He cautiously stepped into Gene's office and closed the door behind hm. Gene was already sliding into his seat and adopting a serious scowl.

"Sit down, Shoe-boy."

Simon cringed. _Shoe-boy_. This was not good.

"What have I done?" he asked warily., "if it's anything to do with staplers –"

"No, nothing to do with staplers," said Gene.

Simon actually breathed a little sigh of relief.

"Well, that' something," he said, but Gene wasn't in the mood for joking.

"I'd like to know," he began, "why I just got a phone call from the foster parents of a fifteen year old boy named Robin Thomas to praise the generosity of Fenchurch East CID for remembering the young boy they rescued from an abusive father by delivering an Easter egg to their door."

Simon swallowed. He was right. Big trouble.

"Because it's almost Easter?" he asked.

Gene leaned across his desk and Simon swore he could feel his hot breath on his face.

"That was a really stupid decision," he said sternly.

"Gene –"

"Leave well enough alone."

"It's not like he knew who I was!"

"But he will!" Gene's tone became angrier, "won't he? How long until you meet him? The other you? Teen Nerd Shoebury? "One year? Two?"

"We were _all_ there when we caught his father!" Simon protested.

"And the boy was knocked senseless!" cried Gene, "he wouldn't have recognised any of us if we'd been in a line-up, wearing gingham dresses and singing a chorus of _'Yes, we were the ones who sat on yer father'!"_

"Come on, Gene, I never meant to do any harm," Simon pleased, "I just wanted to know if he was OK."

"How d'you think it'll look, some thirty-three year old man taking an unsavoury interest in a teenage lad? He's fifteen years old, Simon!"

"He'll be sixteen in July," Simon protested a little helplessly, but Gene wasn't listening.

"You can't go stalking Baby Batman," he continued, "you want people to think you're some kind of bleedin' nonce?"

"I just saw him _once!"_

"And where's that gonna lead? Eh?" Gene started to shake his head.

"That boy's got no one," Simon said crossly.

"That _boy_ has a foster family who seem to care enough to call when some _prat_ turns up with an Easter egg!"

"I didn't know anything about them!" Simon protested, "Robin never spoke about this time if his life, even to me. He blocked most of it out. I knew there was a foster family for a year but I didn't know anything about them."

Gene stared at him.

"And now you've met them?"

Simon hesitated.

"They seem," he sighed, "_nice."_

Gene nodded.

"And is he OK?"

Simon nodded slowly.

"I think so."

"Do you feel better for seeing him?"

The question caught Simon off-guard. He really wasn't expecting it. He tried to say yes, that his encounter had been worthwhile but he couldn't lie. He looked down and shook his head as his heart started to beat hard in his chest.

"No," he whispered, "It didn't. Made me feel worse."

Gene stared on.

"Yes. Thought it might."

There were hurried footsteps in the doorway as Alex arrived, but as she opened it she spotted Simon sitting there, looking glum, and hesitated.

"Sorry, should I come back -?" she asked.

Gene looked up.

"It's fine," he said, "I've almost finished with the Easter Bunny here." He glared at Simon. "In _no_ parallel universe of yours is it a good idea to go looking for people you used to know, Shoebury. Keep away from Baby Batman, Easter eggs or otherwise. No good's going to come of that. Believe me."

Simon hung his head.

"I just miss him so much."

"Bully for you!" cried Gene, "guess what? Everyone loses someone at some time! But they get over it. You need to pull yerself together. You've got responsibilities. You're neglecting Vickery, your case rate is shit and you drink more bloody lattes than I do." He paused as Simon got to his feet. "And go and eat something. I've heard thrash metal bands quieter than your bloody stomach."

Alex watched as Simon left in silence. She felt anxious for more reasons than one. She walked slowly towards Gene and leaned across the desk.

"I'm worried about him," she said quietly.

Gene didn't reply to her comment. It didn't do for people to know he was worried too. They might think he was going soft. But he couldn't shake his fears for Simon either and he didn't know why. He felt in part responsible for the drinking. If he hadn't constantly been shoving his flask in Simon's face then he probably would never have started. But his whole personality was changing and it disturbed Gene greatly to watch. _Maybe he wasn't ready for the responsibility?_ He thought to himself. Of course it was always a shock – had it just been too much for Simon?

"Gene?"

Alex's voice brought him out of his worried thoughts. He looked at her and rubbed his eyes.

"Sorry, Bolly, brain went on a field trip," he mumbled, "look, can anyone tell me where there's staples all round me power point?"

Alex bit her lip as she looked at the socket on the wall and gave an innocent shrug.

"Maybe someone was fixing electricity prices?" she attempted a feeble joke that was lost on Gene to cover her worries but couldn't fight them for long. "Gene…. What you were saying to Simon…?"

Gene exhaled at volume, practically sending all the papers on his desk flying with his breath.

"Bloody Shoe-Boy thought it was a good idea to spread Easter cheer to 'is nearest and dearest," he said, "took Baby Batman a bloody Easter egg."

Alex hesitated.

"Why did he do that?"

"Because he's as thick as the Christmas Radio Times," said Gene, "no good can ever come from meeting people you knew elsewhere."

Alex felt her pulse rate increasing.

"But…. Surely it's pretty harmless, just meeting them once or twice," she said, "it's not like it can harm anything out there?"

"State of this world the last few months? Wouldn't like to take the chance," Gene told her.

Alex found herself chewing on her lip again and cursed herself for it. She needed to stop doing that before she had no lip left.

"But it's always happened, Gene," she reminded him, "Look at me when I first came here. My parents. Evan."

"Me memory wasn't me best feature at the time," Gene pointed out, "I didn't know what this place was about. If I had, I would have snipped that beard in the bud right away."

Alex stared at him.

"You took my hand," she said quietly.

Gene leaned back a little as he nodded very slowly.

"I know, I know," he said quietly, "but there's a difference. It's not that long before Batman's off with fake ID in hand, running into a fellow geek in a nightclub. What's he going to say? '_You look just like this copper who played Easter Bunny last year'?"_

"But this isn't the_ real_ world," Alex said quietly, "nothing that happens _here_ is going to affect anything, is it?"

Gene sighed deeply. His mind had been playing on that subject lately. He thought back to his time in Manchester, where sometimes things they did really seemed to affect what happened on the other side of the line. Back when worlds were closer, sometimes it seemed like they really _could_ change things in the real world. With the way worlds had collided in recent times, Gene couldn't be sure that the same thing wouldn't happen again.

"Not a risk worth taking and not up for discussion," said Gene, "now, what were you doing lurking in me doorway anyway?"

Alex had almost forgotten about the file in her hand. She shook her head a little as though breaking free from a dream and handed it to him.

"Oh, sorry, Guv, this needs your signature before I can send it to the super."

Gene took the file and tossed it to one side, completely disinterested.

"You alright, Bols?" he asked.

Alex's smile was thin and strained.

"Course I am," she said quietly, "Why wouldn't I be?"

Gene studied her pale skin and her slightly haunted expression.

"I'd say you look like you've seen a ghost but that's never a good expression to use round here," he said.

"I'm fine, Gene," she said quietly, "Just a bit tired. That's all."

She tried to give him a smile but when it seemed to fail to materialise she gave up and simply left the room instead.

Throughout the whole walk back to her office she thought about Shaz and their chance encounter, coupled with Gene's words. So it wasn't acceptable to go fraternising with people you knew from your old life – where did that leave meeting people you knew from _this_ life, but at a different place in _theirs_? She couldn't get that poor young girl out of her head. How did Shaz die? She didn't know. All she knew was that she was so young, so _very _young – it wasn't fair. None of it was fair.

She arrived back in her office and closed the door before sliding into her chair and trying desperately to block out thoughts of her former colleague and companion. Ever since she saw Shaz by chance it had been impossible to think about anything else. Would it be _so_ bad if they ran into each other again? Would anything _really_ happen if they happened to meet and had a conversation one day?

She didn't see how it could ever be that bad, she really didn't. Shaz didn't know her. And sadly, she never would. However long she had left before she met the same sticky end that took her back to the early eighties in the first place, it couldn't be more than maybe a few weeks or months. The age of the Shaz she met was the same age of the Shaz she met in 1981.

Her heart was heavy. She missed her friend so badly.

"Sometimes I think this is the loneliest job in existence," she whispered.

~xXx~

"_Eat something,"_ Simon huffed as he thought about gene's words. What did Gene know anyway? What right did he have to chastise him for doing a good turn for a boy who'd been through hell?

He stared at the slice of cake sitting on a napkin on his desk. It had been a thank-you gesture in return for the Easter egg.

"_This might be the last time I get to taste Robin's cooking for years,"_ he whispered.

It wasn't the same, of course. Surely with the many years that passed between his Home Economics task and his years of perfecting his main signature recipes the improvement would be immense but this was still the last piece of Robin's cooking that he'd have in – well, there was no telling how long.

Chocolate sponge, frosting, decorated with tiny little stars. _Fitting,_ thought Simon.

He ran his finger through the frosting and tasted it. It was there. Already, it was there. Robin's excellent skill. He found himself closing his eyes as the thought of it almost choked him. He couldn't face the cake suddenly. He wasn't ready. The moment wasn't right. It was too much to handle and he just couldn't carry on. He quickly wrapped it up in the napkin and took a deep breath. _Maybe later._ Later on he just might be able to face it. But not now.

~xXx~

Kim ran her fingers through her gelled hair to spike the ends upwards as she studied her reflection in the mirror. Simon picked that slightly narcissistic moment to arrive home and couldn't resist snickering.

"When was the last time you gazed at yourself in the mirror like that?" he asked.

Kim glanced around.

"Nothing wrong with making an effort," she said, "maybe you should try it sometime. When did you last shave?"

"I didn't have time this morning," Simon muttered, walking through to the kitchen with a bag clutched in his hand.

"Yes, because you overslept after staying out all night and rolling up at three this morning singing _Hallo Spaceboy,_" said Kim.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" Simon felt a little guilty.

"That's putting it mildly," Kim muttered.

Simon studied Kim from head to toe as he looked back from the kitchen. It was more than the gelled hair, she'd glammed herself up all over.

"Seriously Kim, you look great," he said, "why are you making such an effort this week? Something to do with that new club you've been going to?"

"Yeah, something like that," Kim mumbled a little defensively.

"Where abouts is it?" asked Simon as he re-emerged from the kitchen.

"Just in town," Kim didn't really want Simon to tag along, _not that he probably would want to_, she thought. He was highly engrained in the nightlife at _Bask_ these days. Nevertheless, she couldn't think of anything worse than a moping Simon following her on her big night out. "Anyway," she said as she grabbed her bag and threw her coat over her shoulder, "I'll be home late. Don't wait up."

"Probably won't even be back when you get home," said Simon but his words were lost on Kim who seemed more eager than usual to head out for the night. Simon couldn't help but wonder what had put the spring back in her step that week.

He glanced around at the kitchen where the slice of cake now sat in a bag on the table. He wished he could get the spring back in his own step sometimes.

~xXx~

Kim walked hurriedly toward the front of the club, partly because the evening was chilly and walking faster helped her to warm up, but mostly because there was someone she wouldn't wait to see. They'd only met a few days before but they'd hit it off from the word go. Now, there she was, right there in front of her, waiting for Kim just to one side of the entrance.

"Hey!" Kim's smile was broad and bright as the pretty young brunette greeted her and they headed to the doors of the club together. It was going to be a great night. Of that, Kim was certain.


	4. Chapter 3: The Sparkle in her Eye

**Chapter 3**

"What time do you call this?"

Kim was surprised to find Simon lurking in the lounge when she arrived home.

"Jesus, Simon, thanks for the impression of my mother but it's only half eleven!"

"It is?" Simon frowned and cursed. The _not-being-able-to-wear-a-watch _thing was getting old fast

"Besides I thought you were still going to be out when I got back?" Kim teased as she dropped her bag to the floor and set off for the kitchen to get a glass of water.

"Yeah, well," Simon mumbled, "someone spilt a pint of beer over my trousers and I quickly tired of the nickname _Pee-stain Simon_."

Kim tried not to laugh but failed miserably. She turned the tap on high to cover up her giggles, then filled her glass and took it back to the lounge.

"Then why not go to bed and get an early night?" she said, "catch up on some sleep? You've got bags under your eyes so big you could be mistaken for baggage reclaim at Gatwick airport."

Simon looked at her a little suspiciously.

"I was just wondering if you were," he paused awkwardly, "_bringing anyone back, _that's all."

"Yes, they're hiding in my handbag," Kim pulled a face.

"I'm serious, Kim," Simon certainly didn't look very happy, "going out all glammed up, getting that look on your face, going all coy about what you were up to. It started to look like you'd," he hesitated. He didn't want to sound like he was interrogating her but it seemed to be going that way, "_met someone?"_

Kim sipped her water.

"What's it to you anyway?"

"So you have?"

"I didn't say that!" Kim didn't like all the questioning.

"You're supposed to have a girlfriend out there, Kim!"

"Oh for goodness sake," Kim slammed her glass down and caused a tidal wave across the table, "I've made a new friend and she's cute. And yes, I like her. It's called a crush, Simon. Can I remind you it wasn't so long ago they were making A-one sized posters of the toilet graffiti about your trouser tent!"

"Don't remind me," Simon shuddered as he remembered the campaign.

"You've had that stupid crush on Gene for months –"

"_Hey!"_

"But _I'm_ not allowed to have a crush too?"

"Yeah, but it's not like Gene's going to switch sides and make me an offer I can't refuse, is it?" cried Simon, "who _knows_ what you're going to get up to!"

"You make me sound like such a slapper!"

"Well you're the one who spent months bouncing on Keats's love truncheon!"

"Gas and air, Simon – let me remind you of that little fact. And all the other shit he tries."

"But you still did it. And you admitted you wanted to."

"And I've beaten myself up over it every day since."

"And you admitted you'd kissed other women."

"For god's sake, Simon, what's with the Spanish Inquisition?" Kim felt like her head was going to explode. This had come out of the blue.

"I just hate to think of your girlfriend out there, waiting by your bedside, while you're here, putting it about."

"_Putting it about?"_ Kim cried, "Simon… Simon, I'm lonely and it's nice to have a crush sometimes. It's made me feel alive. It's given me something to focus on for a change. It's no different to you and Gene, except that I'm not beating myself up over it all the time."

Simon stared at her.

"I just don't like it, Kim." He said.

"Why _are_ you so obsessed with cheating?" Kim demanded.

"I'm not obsessed with cheating," Simon told her.

"You can't seem to leave the subject alone."

"I'm worried about you, Kim," Simon told her, "sometimes stuff can follow you home. I don't want you to do anything here that's going to jeopardise your relationship when you wake up."

Kim shook her head slowly and sighed.

"Simon," she began quietly as she sank onto the couch, "I appreciate your _concern,"_ she said through gritted teeth, "but if you want a charity case then take a long, hard look in the mirror. Pull yourself together and sort yourself out first." She pulled the duvet over her. "Now, if you don't mind I'm exhausted from dancing and I want to get a good night's sleep. I'm meeting a friend before work in the morning and I don't want to be late. Goodnight, Simon."

Simon eyed her warily.

"You left your shoes on," he pointed out, "and your clothes. And all your make-up."

"Yes," Kim said, her eyes closed, "that's my way of saying _'Bugger off, Simon.'_"

Simon drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Fine" he said quietly, "goodnight."

As he left her alone and went into his bedroom he couldn't help but feel there was more to Kim's mystery woman than she was letting on. It made him feel a little anxious and uncomfortable and he most certainly hoped that Kim knew what she was doing.

~xXx~

Alex was up bright and early, at least as far as Gene knew. What he didn't know was that she was up bright and early because she hadn't slept a wink the night before. Thoughts of Shaz had been going around and around in her head, driving her crazy, making her wonder why they'd run into each other and what she was supposed to do about it, She couldn't shake the feeling that it happened for a reason, but Gene's words about meeting people you knew from elsewhere were echoing through her head. Eventually when she'd been tossing and turning for hours she gave up her attempt at sleeping and got up to watch crappy early morning television instead.

She had also developed a huge guilt complex about her solo visit to Latte Land the day before so she decided to remedy this with an early morning trip to collect a super-sized latte for Gene. That would absolve her of any guilt, she was sure.

She started to feel a little better and brighter by the time she set off to Latte Land. She supposed things always seemed worse at night and now morning was here and the sun was rising in the sky it was going to be a better day.

She passed Simon's haunted Leather shop and walked into the café, pausing for just a moment to scan the coffee list. She wasn't sure whether she needed something a little stronger than a latte after her sleepless night. It might have been an espresso day, she decided. She joined the queue and glanced around where the shop was already full of men and women getting their morning caffeine fix.

Her eyes were drawn to a table in the corner where two familiar faces sat, smiling, giggling, occasionally touching one another's hand or face. The deepest of shock sset in as she realised who the faces were – one was Kim, a half-finished latte in front of her. The other was most definitely Shaz.

"Oh my god," she breathed, her hands immediately rising to her face in utter astonishment. She found herself leaving the queue and stumbling towards them. There was a part of her mind screaming that this was a very bad idea indeed but the other part of her couldn't leave it alone. She waked to their table and tried to force a smile through her confusion and worry.

"Morning Kim," she said with false cheer, then turned to Shaz and adopted an expression as though she were trying to place her face. "Oh, hello again, it's…"

"Sharon," Shaz smiled, "hello."

Kim glanced from Alex to Shaz.

"You know each other."

"We kind of… ran into each other yesterday," Alex's smile was strangely shy. Seeing Shaz again after so long was such a strange thing to deal with.

"I hope I didn't hurt you," Shaz said a little awkwardly.

"Oh, no, not at all," Alex waved her hand dismissively, "and I hope I didn't hurt you. At least I didn't get you with the coffee."

"No, you're fine," Shaz smiled. She turned back to Kim. "I have to go. I'm on duty in twenty minutes."

"Sure," Kim smiled with a softness and a glow that Alex had never seen before, "See you tonight?"

"You can count on it," Shaz smiled as she got to her feet, then turned to Alex. "Glad you're alright, Madam."

Alex gave her a nervous smile as she watched her leave, then sank into the seat beside Kim. She stared at her slightly soppy expression.

"How do you know Shaz?" she asked, "I mean, Sharon?"

"Hmm?" Kim seemed to be in a slightly different world for a moment. She glanced at Alex and came back to reality. "Oh, Sharon… we met at a club," Kim explained, "a few nights ago. I _finally_ found a good new place since Simon took over_ Bask_ with his jacket and jumper."

Alex gave a little sigh. She and Gene hadn't been so lucky.

"We're still looking," she said, "We haven't found anywhere we like yet. Hmm… maybe we should try out your new place."

Kim looked a little awkward and gave a laugh.

"Erm, I don't think so," she coughed a little and Alex looked crestfallen.

"We wouldn't cramp your style of that's what you're worried about," she said.

"No, no, it's just… it's not your sort of club," Kim felt herself blushing.

"What do you mean?"

"It's a gay club," Kim explained quietly.

Alex couldn't quiet process the information.

"What?" she whispered, "But Shaz – _Sharon…_" She thought about Shaz and Chris – what on earth would she be doing in a gay bar?

"Sharon's bi," Kim said casually.

"She's…" Alex froze. Her memory started to work overtime at Kim's words. There were comments… things Shaz had said that Alex had long forgotten. She could almost hear her voice in her head – "_I'd pay…"_ "_…When it comes down to it we're all a little of both…"_ there were other comments too; things that should have made her wonder but she somehow never did. "_Ohhh…. _That makes sense." She bit her lip and glanced back at Kim. "So…. Are you and she…?"

"Oh, no, _no,"_ Kim said a little shyly. Alex could see that Shaz had really caught Kim's eye. She'd never seen her like this before. "But she's lovely. And pretty. Simon's already _reminded_ me that I'm attached back home. I've already had the lecture."

"I wasn't going to lecture you," Alex said, a little sadly. She recalled her time in 2011. She knew Kim and her girlfriend wouldn't make it but she couldn't tell her that. She sighed. "I know it gets lonely. On your own." She thought about all the time she and Gene spent skirting around the issue before they got together.

"Anyway, we're just friends," said Kim, but her smile returned, "But she's fantastic. I'm so glad I met her."

Alex gave a thin smile.

"Good," she said quietly, "I'm glad."

But inside she couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy. Shaz was her friend – _her friend!_ And yet now she didn't know Alex at all while she was busy living it up with Kim every night. It seemed so unfair somehow.

With a sigh of sadness she made her excuses and got to her feet to leave, the lattes forgotten. Just as she thought she was starting to put her brush with Shaz behind her things had suddenly brought her so much closer to Alex again. It was enough to drive her crazy.


	5. Chapter 4: The Case you Shouldn't Go On

**Chapter 4**

Alex didn't know how to clear her head. Shaz was filling her thoughts and she couldn't shake them away. There had to be a reason that Shaz had come onto the scene, she couldn't shake that feeling. She just didn't know how to handle such a shock. She recalled Gene's words of wisdom to Simon from the previous day over and over but the temptation to see her again was so strong. She missed her friendship terribly.

She arrived in CID aware that Gene might be wondering where his latte was. He'd known where she was going and her decaffeinated arrival probably wouldn't go down all that well. She could hear his voice and wondered what was happening so she peered into the main CID office to find Gene talking to a small group of people including Kim and – to Alex's relief – the stapler guy.

"So he wasn't mine after all," she breathed with a smile.

She tried to watch what was going on without Gene spotting her and questioning her about the lack of lattes. He was pacing with a whiteboard pen in his hand and looking bothered. She wasn't sure what case he was dealing with and watched for a few minutes to catch the general idea.

"Three arson attacks," he began, "all within a three mile area. Random. No motive, no message, someone's doing this for kicks, or it seems that way at least. Only one witness so far." He pointed to a photo stuck to the board, "Emma Cane. Tenant of the second property to go up in smoke. She was luckier than the first one. Poor biddy burnt to her death, Serves her right for wearing a bloody flannelette nightie." He turned to Kim. "Stringer?"

Kim got to her feet. She had a pile of photocopies of an artist's impression of the suspect in her hands which she began to hand around.

"All three properties were badly damaged," she said, "the second one got away lightly in comparison though. Emma caught sight of the arsonist. White male, between eighteen and twenty five years old, brown hair, average height, wearing grey tracksuit bottoms and what seemed to be the top of a shell suit," she pulled a face.

"Thanks for your fashion critique Metal Mickey," said Gene. He turned back to the rest of the room. "Terry, Bammo, speak to Emma Cane, see if she's remembered anything else that could help us here. Make sure she knows about the dead granny, might help give her some encouragement to raid her memory banks. Stringer, you can take our green boy to talk to the Carter's. They owned the third property."

The stapler guy looked around, his mouth open slightly.

"Uh…" he began, not sure if he wanted to speak or not.

Gene turned to him with a glare, hands on hips, and cut him in two with one word:

"_Problem?"_

"Uh…" he cleared his throat, "Well, first of all, I don't appreciate being called 'Green Boy'."

"So back to Stapler Guy then," said Gene.

"My name is Eddie," the man told him, "I'm DC Eddie Ashworth and I'm not really here."

"You _won't_ be here if you keep talking like this, you'll be down the job centre," Gene warned.

"I'm having a dream," Eddie told him firmly.

"Then welcome to your worst nightmare," said Gene, "Now get out there with Stringer and bring me this fire-eating idiot."

"Is that all the briefing we get?" Eddie demanded, "no psychological profiling, no forensics?"

Gene's glare turned up a notch. He snapped his fingers and the doors of his office opened.

"In here. Now."

Alex watched on as a nervous Eddie followed him into the room and a moment later there was a clang as man met filing cabinet.

"Probably best for me to go and hide in my office for a while," she commented to herself.

She hurried along the corridor to her own little space within Fenchurch East and sank into her chair. Immediately her thoughts went back to Shaz and Kim again. She couldn't stop dwelling on it. The previous day had been a one-off, a chance encounter and there was no way that she could have anticipated something so strange and seemingly random. Now knowing that Shaz and Kim had met and were becoming close, it made her wonder if there was some other reason that Shaz was back in her life.

Should she tell Gene? She didn't know. She knew his thoughts on Simon's encounter with a young Robin – the last thing she wanted was to receive a similar lecture – or for Kim to get one. She gave a deep sigh and put her head in her hands.

Her computer bleeped. She looked up and found, to her surprise, that she had a new email. The internal emails were still fairly new in Fenchurch East and she seemed to get approximately three a month. Her surprise was compounded when she found the email was from Gene. Since when did he even know how to switch his computer on? She clicked on the message and read:

"_Wot, no latte?"_

She gave a sigh. Gene had learned how to use Email just so he could track down his absent latte? Typical. Bloody typical! There was also a P.S. involving spreadable chocolate but she wasn't sure he ought to be sending something like that through the internal email system. She gave a groan and got to her feet. She supposed another trip to Latte Land was in store. If Gene was willing to bring himself into the nineties to track one down then a latte was obviously more vital to his day than even Alex had realised.

~xXx~

"I don't care what you and yer stapler get up to in yer own time, while you're at this station you're under my jurisdiction, so get used to it."

Gene finally dropped Eddie to the floor. He had some interesting filing cabinet-esque markings now imprinted upon his back. He scrambled to his feet and ribbed his sore spine before narrowing his eyes at Gene.

"This is the most violent dream I've ever had," he said.

"I told you, I'm no dream, I'm a nightmare," said Gene, "now get your backside out of my office."

He watched the nervous Eddie escape from the room and studied as Kim offered him a few friendly words and led him calmly from the office. He raised an eyebrow. Her manner with the stapler guy seemed to be about perfect.

"Maybe she should be doing me job," he mumbled as the phone began to ring. He lifted the receiver and barked a quick _"Yes?" _down the line. The words he heard in reply were not ones that pleased him.

"_Sir? There's been another one."_

~xXx~

"Good night last night, sir," Lindsay smiled as Simon took off his jacket, "Did you ever manage to get the stain out your trousers?"

Simon bristled.

"Yes, _thank you,"_ he said through gritted teeth as Gene appeared in the doorway.

"Get that coat back on, _Sam Tyler the Second_," he said "you're needed."

"What? Oh Gene, what have I done now?" Simon groaned, "I've not been on any roofs with Keats, no one's been fondling my nipples and I haven't been following fifteen year old boys!" He cringed as Lindsay threw an alarmed glance his way. "Long story."

"You've not done anything," said Gene, "not this time, anyway. I need your help."

"Why, what's happening?" frowned Simon.

"Twat with a box of matches struck again and there's no one at home."

Simon frowned.

"Come again?"

"I'll tell you on the way," said Gene.

Simon knew there was no point arguing. He had no option but to pick up his jacket and go along for the ride. And knowing Gene's driving, the 'ride' was likely to be anything but smooth. He was rather glad he'd not had any breakfast, otherwise he might be about to find himself reacquainted with it.

~xXx~

"Don't know why you're that colour, Shoebury."

Simon had been right. Clearly Gene wasn't intending on taking a leisurely drive to the scene of the crime.

"It might have something to do with the fact that we appear to be travelling faster than the speed of light," Simon mumbled as Gene drove over a slight bump in the road that sent the car soaring and Simon's stomach lurching.

"You should be used to this by now," said Gene.

"I'll _never _get used to this," said Simon. He swallowed hard and tried to keep focused on the road ahead. _Look at the horizon. That's supposed to help, isn't it? Or is that only for boats?_ He wasn't sure. He took a deep breath to try to keep the nausea at bay and finally asked, "so where are we going?"

Simon's cases had been fairly separate from Gene's for the last couple of months. Their paths hadn't crossed a great deal within their work and Simon was unaware of the current case Gene had been working on.

"Arsonist in the area," Gene said as he took a sharp right, "already hit three houses. Just struck a forth tine but there was a girl at home. Caught him before he had time to add his matches to the collection of petrol he'd been pouring through the letterbox." He gave a deep sigh. "Broad bloody daylight. What's happening to the world?"

Simon looked at Gene.

"Arsonist" he asked.

"Keep up Shoebury, yes, an arsonist," Gene repeated, "that's someone who sets fire to things, not someone who sticks things up their –"

"Yeah, I got you," Simon rolled his eyes.

"Girl got the shock of her life," Gene continued, "Firestarter thought the house was empty by the sounds of it. Didn't realise some slacker student was home on her never-ending Easter holiday."

Simon froze. He found his lips growing very dry suddenly and he looked at Gene a little anxiously.

"University student?" he asked quietly, "Gene, where exactly are we going?"

"Holly Row."

That was the moment Simon's whole body turned to ice and his stomach flipped on its side.

"Holly Row," he repeated.

Gene gave him a sideways glance.

"You've gone from green to white," he commented, "are you trying to work yer way through the rainbow?"

Simon swallowed. He couldn't quite comprehend the words Gene had just said. He shook his head a little and ran his tongue around his dry lips. He couldn't speak for several moments and knew Gene was waiting for some kind of response. Finally he forced out a half-hearted comment.

"White isn't in the rainbow," was the best he could come up with.

Gene frowned.

"You sure you're alright, Shoebury? He asked, "haven't seen anyone turn that many colours since the cable went on the fritz."

"Yes. Fine," Simon said quietly but inside his head was screaming and churning with thoughts and memories. He couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe he'd _forgotten._ But it was so long ago, and nothing really _happened…_ No wonder it had disappeared from his mind completely.

He shook his head a little. What the hell was he supposed to do? He couldn't say anything, not now. He'd left it too long. The time to say something would have been the moment Gene said '_Holly Row'_. Now that several minutes of silent thought and comments about what colours may or may not have been in the rainbow had passed it was far too late. Besides, there was a part of him that didn't _want_ to say anything. Gene would send him packing back to the station without hesitation. That was very clear to see. If Gene had reacted that way to meeting a 15 year old Robin then Simon felt fairly certain a fuse was about to blow.

Perhaps it wasn't so bad. Perhaps it was fate. He'd felt so lost and alone, especially in recent weeks, that maybe this was the closest thing he was going to get to what he yearned for most in the world.

"_Home,"_ he whispered.


	6. Chapter 5: The Teenage NerdBoy

**Chapter 5**

The house on Holly Row was every bit as Simon remembered. The odd brick missing from the driveway, the bits of paint peeling from the garage door, the house number painted on the wheelie bin – everything was just as his memory told him. He hadn't lost a single detail.

"Blimey, talk about petrol fumes, I'll bring me car closer and fill her up," said Gene as they walked down the path together. As Gene knocked on the door a moment of panic struck Simon as he realised that any moment now he might be about to come face to face with his own flesh and blood. He couldn't remember exactly what he looked like when he was… what would he have been now? 18? – but he was sure he looked similar enough to raise more than a few eyebrows – not to mention questions.

"Uh," he began quickly as he spotted the side gate open and a couple of uniformed officers drinking tea in the alleyway, "I think I'll just go and check with uniform. See what they've found," and he disappeared down the alleyway before Gene could do a thing to stop him.

"_Oi! Shoebury!"_ Gene cried angrily, "I brought you on this case to help me, not to go dusting the rockery for fingerprints!" He found himself at a loss for anything to do to bring Simon back as the front door opened and a rather scared looking young lady looked out at him, her face ashen.

"Yes?" She said quietly.

Gene decided to turn his attention to the matter at hand and ignore Simon for the time being. He tried to compose his thoughts.

"Hello, love, Fenchurch East CID," he said, pulling out his ID, "I'm DCI Hunt. There have been a spate of arson attacks in this area and I've got a few questions for you, see if anything ties up. Might be the same bloke."

The young woman gave a thin smile and nodded slowly.

"Oh," she said, "Come in."

She took a step backwards and allowed Gene to step inside. Gene tried to wipe his boots on the front door mat, found the mat was covered in petrol and swore.

"Shit! Me bloody boots!" He sighed. The woman was looking even more nervous now._ Time to get back on track. "_Just got a few questions for you."

The womwn shrugged.

"Sure," she said, "what do you want to know?"

Gene hesitated.

"Well first of all," he said, "I need to know about yer selection of biscuits. What have you got?" he paused, "can't trap arsonists on an empty stomach."

~xXx~

Walking through the side alleyway and into the back garden was a strange sensation indeed for Simon. As he emerged beside the burgeoning blossom bush he could almost smell those lazy summer days spent on the patio, talking to his neighbour over the fence, or helping with the gardening at weekends. He was almost that person again, that carefree teen, his whole life ahead of him.

"What I would give to be that person again now," he whispered.

He hovered for a moment outside of the open back door. He could hear the voice of his sister, Elaine, from somewhere deeper within the house and the tone of her words brought tears to his eyes. He couldn't help chocking up. He didn't think he would ever hear that voice again. He took a cautious step in through the back door and looked around the kitchen. It was just as he remembered. He even had the broadcast dates of The X Files ringed on the kitchen calendar. That made him smile.

The voices of his sister and Gene seemed to be coming from the lounge. That gave him the perfect chance to sneak up the staircase which he did before he could change his mind. With each footstep his heart seemed to thump a little louder and a little harder until by the time he reached the top of the staircase it was racing at double speed. He found himself directly in front of a door. _His_ door. His bedroom door. A sign that said; "_Simon's room – Smegheads Keep Out!"_ that a friend had made for him some years previously faced him, underneath which a poster of David Duchovny was stuck with blue-tak. There were a couple of random stickers around it, one was a '_Hi, My Name Is SIMON'_ sticker from his first day at college and there were a couple from many years previously when he'd been going through a bit of a Sonic the Hedgehog phase.

"I never could peel those damn things off," he whispered with a sad smile.

His hand closed around the door handle as though it might burn him and he turned it slowly – s-l-o-w-l-y… ever so carefully until the door creaked gently open.

His head appeared around the side of it, followed a moment later by the rest of his body, he made a tiny sound of surprise as the familiarly of the room brought him to a complete standstill. He stood and stared. The walls were awash with X-Files cuttings, Red Dwarf clippings and a couple of band posters. On the reverse side of the door was his blank _Euro '96_ poster, all ready to be filled in when the tournament arrived. The shelves were full of tie-in books to his favourite TV shows and a paper mache Starbug sat on the top one.

"My God," he breathed as he sank into the soft duvet on the bed, "It's me. My past. All here, in this room."

He closed his eyes and wished with all his heart that he could become the 18 year old that would be sleeping there tonight once again.

~xXx~

Gene dunked another biscuit in his coffee. They were only Rich Teas but he'd skipped breakfast on the promise of lattes and treats from his favourite café and when neither arrived he hadn't found the time to rustle up a replacement before the call came in. Now it was just a case of plugging the gap until he could find out exactly where Bolly and his latte had gone.

"Did you get a good look at 'im?" Gene asked, his mouth still full of soggy biscuit.

"Not really," Elaine held a tissue nervously. Gene wondered whether she was about to cry into it or eat it as it seemed to travel often between her eye and her lips with nerves, "he started running when he heard me screaming." She sighed and hung her head. She'd gone through this three times already. "I heard the letterbox go and I thought it was the post but then there was a weird noise, like liquid slopping out of something. So I came out to see and he was emptying a can of petrol through the door. I screamed and he dropped the can… began to run."

"Should get some tasty prints off the can at least," Gene tried to reassure her, "any idea what he was wearing?"

"Grey trousers," Elaine said quietly, "didn't really see his jacket that well. I think it was blue?" she shook her head slowly, "I was just too scared. I didn't really take it in."

"It's alright, love, you had a nasty shock," Gene didn't like putting on the nicey-nicey approach but in the absence of someone to balance out his brash approach with niceness he felt that he had to fulfil both roles. Usually Alex, or Simon, or even Kim could take the other role. For now he'd just have to have a split personality, he decided.

"I think he thought the house was empty," Elaine said quietly, "I mean. It usually_ is_ at this time. Maybe he'd been watching for a few days?" she sighed, "I just came home for Easter from Uni. Dad's at work. As soon as the man ran away I called him, and he said to call nine-nine-nine."

"A wise man," said Gene.

"He's on his way home now," said Elaine, "He'll be back in a few minutes."

"Well, thank you, Miss –?" Gene hesitated as he realised he hadn't been told her name

"Shoebury. Elaine Shoebury."

"_Sh-?"_ that was as far into his exclamation of surprise as Gene got before his eyes were drawn to a photograph above the mantelpiece. He slowly rose from the couch, leaving his coffee and biscuits abandoned on the coffee table and walked across to it. The photo showed three young people; two dark-haired young ladies who could have only had a couple of years age difference between them, and a sandy-haired young man with blue eyes and curls atop his head. That face was extremely familiar. Gene swallowed.

"Is everything OK, sir?" Elaine asked nervously.

Gene didn't know if everything was OK or not. He picked up the photograph and turned to her.

"Is it alright if I take this?" he asked.

Elaine looked confused.

"Why?"

"Public plea, said Gene, "putting out yer plight, telling of the family whose house was almost wrecked by some evil nob with a petrol can."

Elaine gave a shrug. She didn't know what to say to that.

"I guess so," she said, "you'll have to ask dad."

Gene nodded slowly.

"Where's yer bathroom/" he asked, "want to wash the petrol smell off me hands before I go."

"Upstairs, turn right," said Elaine, "it's the door right at the end."

"Appreciate it," said Gene.

He tucked the picture under his arm as he began his ascent up the staircase. He had a sandy-haired, blue-eyed young man to question about this situation.

~xXx~

Simon had been staring at the walls for several minutes. It was the most familiarity he'd found since his arrival in 1995. With his back to the door, he wasn't all that surprised when he heard footsteps entering and drawing closer. He braced himself for the worst as Gene sat down beside him and said,

"So, when were you gonna tell me? When yer father came home and said, _Hello son, you're growing up fast_?"

Simon glanced at him, biting his lip nervously.

"I'm sorry, Gene," he said quietly, "I didn't know what to say."

"How about _Excuse me, Gene, can you stop this vehicle before I go and face me past?" _

Simon hung his head.

"Like you stop a vehicle for anything," he mumbled.

Gene laid the framed photograph in Simon's lap and Simon looked at it in surprise. He gave a half-laugh and a tiny smile.

"You weren't as ugly as I thought you'd be," Gene commented.

"Congratulations on inventing the most back-handed compliment the world has ever seen!" Simon cried a little offended.

"Thought you'd be all industrial-strength acne and National Health glasses," said Gene.

"_You_ can't see the Red Dwarf T-Shirt I've got on under my sweatshirt," said Smon.

Gene nodded at the photo.

"How old is this?" he asked.

Simon drew in a deep breath.

"I guess it was taken one and a half… maybe two years ago?" he said, "I think I was sixteen there."

"And these are yer fabled sisters?" asked Gene.

"You say that like you didn't believe they existed," said Simon.

"Hear enough about someone, start to wonder what they're like," said Gene. He studied the picture. "You were right, You_ are_ the oddball in yer family. Sisters don't look a lot like you."

Simon nodded slowly.

"I've got my mother's genes," he said quietly.

Gene's eyes started to travel around the room. They settled on the poster on Simon's door.

"Never picked you out as a football fan," he said.

"Why, because I'm a member of the rainbow brigade I'm automatically immune to the lure of football?" Simon sighed.

"No, because yer a sci-fi obsessed nerd-boy," said Gene, "that's what makes you immune to football."

Simon looked at the poster.

"Was so excited for Euro Ninety-Six," he said, "best bloody tournament."

"Did you get to see any matches?" Gene asked.

"Live?" Simon shook his head. "Had exams."

"Bollocks," said Gene. He sighed, "Maybe you can do something about that this time."

Simon actually smiled at the thought.

"Maybe," he said.

Gene's eyes scanned the walls again.

"Other than that, everything's pretty much as I suspected," her said, "walls awash with spaceships. Bloody hell, why have you got a poster of Malcolm?"

"That's Jarvis cocker."

"Oh," Gene studied it a little closer, "so it is. False alarm."

Simon gave a very heavy sigh.

"I'd totally forgotten… I mean, it just never really registered… _arson,"_ he shook his head, "I was at college when it happened, I mean, I'm at college _right now_. The other me. Last day before Easter. By the time I got home the only evidence that anything had happened was a nasty stink. I was told someone poured petrol through the letterbox, no one ever said anything about arson. I guess they didn't want to worry me. I just thought someone was messing around." He shook his head. "Sorry, Guv."

Gene stared at Simon. He knew there was a bollocking in the offing, they_ both_ did, but this wasn't the time or the place. Eventually he said,

"Look Shoebury, we'll talk about this later. For now you need to get out before daddy dearest gets home and wonders how long he's been at work this morning to suddenly have a thirty two year old son. I'll keep that sister of yours busy by inspecting the rest of her biscuit collection. You go and wait in the car."

"Sure," Simon said quietly. He felt like a kid who'd been sprung snooping around for Christmas presents.

He waited for Gene to leave the room before slowly following and skulked around on the stairs for a while until he heard him talking to Elaine and slowly slipped down to the hallway. He did his best to pass unseen through the hall but one temptation proved too much and he made a quick stop in the dining room, quickly swiped an item and made a fast exit out into the garden. As he retreated to the car and slipped inside he hid the item under his jacket and closed his eyes.

"At least I'll get to keep a few memories with me this time," he said quietly.

He stared at the house through the windscreen and felt a hundred different emotions overtaking him. He couldn't fight them, so he sat there and let them play havoc with his thoughts. Lost and fairly alone in a strange world, a taste of home from long ago had been one visit he wold never forget.


	7. Chapter 6: The Surprise in the Office

**Chapter 6**

All the way back to the station Simon awaited the bollocking. He knew it was coming. When there was no sign of it in the car he suspected a filing cabinet-related incident was about to unfold. His fears seemed to have foundation in reality at the sound of the immortal sentence; "_Shoebury – a word."_

Simon cringed. It was no more than he expected. He wondered if it was too late to get some padding for his back to save him from the metal filing cabinet and some industrial strength earplugs to block out the inevitable rant.

He followed Gene through CID and to the door of his office, but as Gene began to open the door the sight of a bestockinged leg draped across his desk made him freeze, slam the door and turn around, flushing a little and mumbling, "Right… so, a word…" he noticed Simon looking confused and nervous. "Right…. Parents, families, houses. Not good. Not a good idea. Don't do it again. Now bugger off."

Simon stared at him expectantly. He swallowed.

"Was that it?" he asked.

"Get lost before I change me mind and stick yer head down the lavvy," Gene warned.

Simon gulped.

"Understood," he said and disappeared from the office.

Gene took a deep breath and tried to gather himself. Something pleasant was lurking on the other side of the door. He opened it quickly, stepped in and pulled the blinds down around him.

"Jesus, Bolly!"

The sight of a half-naked Alex on his desk with a tall Latte Land cup covering her modesty was the last thing he'd expected to find.

"Sorry I took a while bringing you your morning latte," Alex said.

Gene wasn't sure what to say or what to do first. A half-naked Alex _and_ an extra-tall latte in one place? This was quite overwhelming.

"Bloody hell, it's not me birthday is it?" Gene felt his head to make sure he wasn't running a fever and hallucinating.

"I felt bad about forgetting your latte this morning," Alex told him. She sat upright, causing Gene to cry out,

"Mind the latte! You don't want to get a burn down there!"

Alex slipped from the desk and held the latte out towards him. In a state of shock he took the cup, feeling pretty sure he was holding onto the wrong thing in this scenario.

"Hope this makes up for it?" she asked.

"Makes up for just about anything, ever," said Gene, "you committed any murders you want pardoning for?"

There was a part of Alex that couldn't believe she was behaving this way. But then again, she'd been behaving this way more and more since she had returned to Gene's world. She hadn't shaken the heightened libido that the other part of her had been dealing with and her appetite for the wild side of life was far greater than she'd known it before.

There was a little more to it than that though. A combination of things had contributed to this new side. There was the relief at being back with Gene and wanting to make the most of the second chance they had, there was the freedom of finally choosing to stay in the nineties with him and not feel the same terrible tearing between the two worlds, although she would never stop missing Molly. And there was a need to take back her body. After what her other self had done it was taking a while for Alex to feel in control again and to wipe away the terrible choices the other Alex had made. Combined, they made for one rather sexually-excitable Alex and one very happy, but exhausted, Gene.

"Well?" she prompted, "what are you waiting for? Offer expires at midday."

Gene raised an eyebrow.

"Well," he began, "it's alright with me – but I'm on top," he shuddered, "took me weeks to get the splinters out me arse last time."

~xXx~

"You are insatiable woman, wasn't yer latte role-play scenario enough?"

It was evening and Alex was pulling here stockings up slowly, right in front of Gene.

"This isn't a hint, I'm just getting ready!" Alex protested.

"Don't know why we're bothering, not found a decent place yet," said Gene, "they're all fill o' crap music and worse wine."

"I know," Alex sighed. She was really missing having a place to go at night. It was the _Cheers_ syndrome. She wanted a place where everyone knew her name. Since the New Year she and Gene had tried so many bars, restaurants and clubs and none of them had been a decent fit. She missed it a great deal. While there was something to be said for cosy nights in with a bottle of red the nightlife had always been a part of her time in Gene's world.

The phone rang and Gene lifted the receiver, halfway through tying his tie. He managed to get his tie and the telephone tangled for a moment, cursed, then barked into his tie,

"What?"

It took another few seconds for him to realise his mistake and bark into the phone instead. Alex half-listened to his conversation. As it went on it became increasingly that they weren't going anywhere that night. As he hung up Alex looked at him with disappointment.

"So who was that?" she asked, "Bammo blown up the photocopier again?"

"Gene shook his head.

"Our friendly arsonist," he said, "looks like he needed to get a quick fix after failing to set Simon's family tree on fire. Another house up in flames. Looks like he used up all his petrol earlier though, this one didn't get very far."

"Well that's good at least," said Alex.

Gene took off his half tied tie and threw it to the ground.

"Not so good for me bloody social life though," he mumbled.

Alex looked on, a little crestfallen. She'd been desperately looking forward to their night out, anything to take her mind off of Shaz and the strange encounters she'd had with the girl she used to know so well. Now it looked like an evening alone with the TV for company – and the TV was full of bloody rubbish.

"How long do you think you'll be?" she asked.

Gene exhaled and shook his head.

"If you see me this side of midnight you'll be lucky," he said.

"Shit," Alex sighed. She sank onto the couch and shook her head slowly. "I suppose the bar will still be there tomorrow."

"Unless Firestarter gets there first," he said.

Alex gave a deep sigh as she watched Gene leave for the night. She really needed something to take her mind off of things. Sitting around was going to do her no good. Slowly she got to her feet and wandered to the mirror.

_I'll just finish getting ready,_ she thought to herself, _just in case. Maybe I'll find someone else to go with._

She finished applying her make-up and checked herself over._ All dressed up and nowhere to go._

"Better _find_ somewhere to go," she told herself.

Inside, she knew it was wrong. She knew deep down that it would only lead to trouble but it was too great a temptation to resist.

_I'm just dropping by on some friends,_ she thought over and over, _That's all. Just seeing what they're up to tonight._

As if she didn't know. As if she hadn't heard Kim and Shaz saying they were going to meet up that evening. As though her intentions were as pure as the driven snow.

She grabbed her keys, switched off the light and left the flat before her common sense could prevail and change her mind.


	8. Chapter 7: The Night On The Town

**Chapter 7**

Alex jiggled around nervously outside the door as she waited for someone to open it. She felt guilty. She _looked_ guilty. But somehow not guilty enough to turn around and go home. When Kim opened the door she had half her earrings in and her hair half-spiked.

"Oh, Ma'am," she said in surprise, "sorry, I'm just getting ready… were you looking for Simon?"

"No," Alex said innocently, peering around, "is he in?"

"No, he's gone to _Bask_ with Lindsay," said Kim.

"Oh," Alex said.

Kim hesitated.

"Um," she wasn't quite sure what to say, "can I help you with anything/"

"No," Alex bit her lip, "I was just wondering if, um," she hesitated, "if you wanted to try this new bar in town? Gene and I were supposed to be going but he's been called in to work…"

Kim looked a little awkward.

"Ohh…" she said, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm meeting Sharon tonight."

Alex stared on. She faked a look of surprise and then adopted a crestfallen expression.

"_Ohh…_ oh, of course you are, I'm sorry," she said. She gave a smile of false sadness, "I'm sorry Kim, I remember now. I shouldn't have bothered you. I'll… I'll leave you in peace to get ready. Looks like it's just me and the TV tonight then." She looked down. "Sorry. Have a great night."

As Alex turned and began to walk away extremely slowly Kim bit her lip. She felt very sorry for Alex, no new bar or club to call her own and abandoned by a working Gene on what was supposed to be a big night out. And she was all dressed up to boot. A little awkwardly, she gave a sigh and said,

"Hey –"

Alex glanced around.

"Hmm?"

Kim hesitated.

"You _could_ come out with _us,"_ she said, not completely sure she should be making the offer, "if you wanted? Me and Sharon… I mean, I know it's not _your kind of club_," she remembered what she said that morning, "but if you want some company, I suppose it's better than a night in with the TV?"

Alex looked at her. She wondered how long was the polite time to hesitated and pretend not to want to intrude on her night out. One second? Two? Maybe three. Yes, three felt long enough.

"Are… are you sure?" she asked.

She could see Kim wasn't 100% on that one but never the less she said,

"It'll be fine, Ma'am. It's a great club. Come on, I can't leave you on your own, all dressed up."

Alex tried not to break into a smile.

"Well, if you're sure…?"

"Just give me five minutes to finish my hair and get my jewellery in, and I'll be all ready," said Kim.

Alex stepped inside and closed the door behind her. She felt butterflies of anticipation in her belly. She knew that this wasn't altogether a good idea but she couldn't get Shaz out of her head. She just wanted to spend a little time with her friend, with the young woman who'd shown such kindness and courage at Gene's service so many years ago. Surely there was no harm in that?

~xXx~

Alex started to feel nervous as she followed Kim toward the entrance to the club. It was like visiting another world, she thought. She was far from narrow-minded but gay bars and clubs were not exactly her usual venue for an evening out. She watched with a slightly uncomfortable smile as Shaz spotted Kim and came towards her for a hug.

"Hey," Kim smiled.

"Hi, Kim," Shaz smiled. She looked at Alex and her expression became a little confused. "Oh, hello again…?"

"Alex," Alex smiled.

"Sharon, I hope you don't mind," Kim began, "she was supposed to be going out and her plans fell through. I said she could come out with us. Is that OK?"

Shaz gave a slightly half-hearted smile. She'd been looking forward to getting to know Kim better. An interloper was going to spoil that plan, but she didn't want to say so. She looked at Alex.

"'Course it is," she said as they walked towards the club together. She hesitated. "What are you drinking, Alex?"

Alex felt strange to hear Shaz refer to her so casually. She was used to 'Ma'am'. It was going to take some getting used to.

"That's OK," she said, "I'll get these in. Least I can do after butting in on your evening."

As Alex collected their drink requests and set off to the bar Shaz grabbed Kim's arm and said,

"Kim, I really wanted to spend some time with you on your own tonight."

Kim felt guilty and rather awkward. She felt a little torn for more than one reason. Her crush on Shaz was starting to become more severe and she was worried about getting herself into an emotional tangle she couldn't get out of. Although she'd desperately wanted to spend time with her alone she also knew that having Alex around would kelp her to resist the temptation to take things further, Simon's words of disapproval still ringing through her mind. Perhaps it was a good thing Alex was there.

"Look, she's sort of my boss, she turned up looking for someone to go out with for the night, all dressed up, disappointed her plans were messed up – I couldn't really turn her down." She paused. "She might not like it. Might go home." She glanced at Alex at the bar. "Or you might hit it off?"

"I've already hit it off with one very nice lady I wanted to spend the evening with," Shaz told her and sent Kim's legs to jelly. Kim felt herself blush and her heart was thumping. The feeling only increased as she felt Shaz slip a hand around her waist.

"I'm sorry, Sharon," she said quietly, "but I'm sure she won't stop out for long. And even if she does, we'll go out tomorrow, yeah? Me and you. No one else."

"That had better be a promise," Shaz's dark eyes were sparkling and her deep, red lipstick deemed to draw Kim in ever closer. She breathed in deeply, so close to gravitating towards her but before she had a chance Alex appeared with drinks.

"There we are," she said as she handed them around. She saw Kim and Shaz looking a little awkward, perhaps even a little guilty and she wondered what she'd interrupted. Still, she decided, Kim could have Shaz to herself every night of the week if she wanted – this was her one chance to get to know the girl again and she was going to make the most of it.

"To a bloody good night," she said raising her glass.

Kim and Shaz clinked glasses with her, if a little hesitantly. They weren't completely sure how the evening was going to go. As long as the alcohol kept flowing, it just might be alright.

~xXx~

"Shots!"

Kim's single word was accompanied by three glasses appearing at the table. Alex couldn't remember the last time she'd had this much to drink. She also couldn't remember the last time she'd laughed so much. Whether it was the alcohol or the past connection between herself and Shaz that made the difference, all the awkwardness had faded fast and soon they were like three old friends on a night out.

Downing her second shot, Alex choked and coughed, then laughed and said,

"What would Gene say if he saw me now?"

"Probably wondering where his was," Kim laughed.

"Sorry your plans were screwed up," Shaz told Alex.

"Oh, don't be," Alex's cheeks were flushed from the alcohol, "I'm having a wonderful time."

"Where were you going anyway?" asked Kim.

"It's that new place with the clock face on the sign," said Alex, "You see, Gene and I…" she glanced at Shaz, "I mean, DCI Hunt and I…" she shook her head and laughed. "Of course, you don't know him as that now, do you?"

Shaz was looking a little confused.

"Err… I don't know who you're taking about," she said.

"No, Shaz – _Sharon,"_ Alex said quickly, "of course you don't. Well, he's my…. He's my fiancé, and we were supposed to be going out tonight. But then there was this _arse_… this…" she started to laugh hysterically, her head against Kim's shoulder, "this arsonist! Who struck at the wrong time so Gene went to work and left me all on my own."

"Aw," Kim and Shaz chanted.

"_But,"_ Alex was jabbering now. She was nervous, over-excitable and full of alcohol. This was not a good combination, "but it's OK, because I get to spend the evening with you two lovely ladies." She hiccupped.

"Yeah, I would like to point out she's straight," Kim said, peeling Alex off her shoulder.

"Did kiss _you _though," Alex mumbled, looking for another drink.

"She did?" Shaz's curiosity was caught.

"It was a dare," Kim pulled a face.

"Still did it though," said Alex, who was staring at four Kims rotating in a circle. She slowly got to her feet. "Need more drinks. Anyone for shots?"

"Me," said Kim.

"And me," said Shaz.

"Shots," said Alex, her legs bowing and tangling as she walked to the bar, "_Shots!"_

Shaz giggled at her and leaned against Kim's shoulder.

"I wish_ my_ boss was this much fun," she said.

"I've never seen her like this before," Kim laughed, "It's good to see her let her hair down though."

"Why does she keep calling me Shaz though?" Shaz asked, leaning a little closer.

Kim shrugged.

"She's totally off her face," she pointed out, "'Sharon's probably too complicated!"

Shaz smiled.

"I sort of like it, anyway," she said, "as a nickname."

"It does suit you," smiled Kim.

They watched Alex tottering back with the shots.

"Oh, she's going to have a sore head in the morning," Shaz laughed.

"I don't think she cares," said Kim with a smile.

As the three of them downed their shots and spent the night dancing their cares away two things became very clear to Alex. The first, this was still the same fun, loyal and kind Shaz that she'd known so long ago. And the second? That she didn't want this to be one night of getting to know her again. Now she had Shaz back in her life she didn't want to lose her friendship for a second time. One night was not enough. She knew that this could easily lead to trouble but a big part of her didn't really care. She'd find a way around it, somehow.

"If I can only stay upright, that is," said Alex as the room began to spin. _"uuurrrggghhhh….."_

Crash.

Two young ladies stood above her, looking down on her a little guiltily.

"I think we'd better take her home," said Kim, "before someone mistakes her for a podium and tries dancing on her back!"


	9. Chapter 8: The Trouser Tent's Revenge

**Chapter 8**

"_Morning."_

Gene's loud tone split Alex's head in two like a knife through butter.

"Good morning, Gene," she said croakily as she shuffled slowly to the kitchen table and sank heavily into a chair.

Gene made a big show of cutting a chunk from a greasy sausage and munching it, noticing her blanching as her stomach turned over, before asking her,

"Do you mind telling me why you were missing when I got 'ome last night?"

Alex hesitated. She wasn't all together sure.

"Um, I…" she began.

"Or why you decided to sleep under the kitchen table instead of in our bed?"

"Well…"

"Or why I awoke at half four this morning accompanied by the sound of you being very, _very _sick in the bathroom?"

Alex gulped.

"Um…"

"Or why, when I tried to get you to come to bed, you mumbled; '_not now Robin, The X Files will be on in a minute'_?"

"Erm…"

Gene looked at her seriously.

"Or why," he said grimly, "Metal Mickey and a young woman by the name of PC Sharon Granger delivered you home in the early hours of the morning?"

Alex froze. Her face fell as she caught his eye and she felt as though her heart stopped for a moment. Eventually she regained the power of speech.

"Shit," she breathed, sinking her head into her hands.

"Shit is right," Gene agreed.

Alex looked up guiltily.

"I'm sorry, Gene," she said quietly, "I should have told you."

"Which part should you 'ave told me?" Gene demanded, "the part where you went cavorting with _dead-alive-dead-alive _coppers? Or the _going-out-to-all-hours-without-telling-me_?"

Alex hadn't even thought about that.

"Sorry, Gene," she said again, "I didn't mean to worry you. It was am impromptu decision."

"Anything could have happened to you out on yer own!" Gene said crossly, "any randy bloke could have tried it on, _Miss Pretty But Legless."_

Alex shook her head and sighed.

"Not that kind of club, Gene," she said.

"They're _all_ that kind of club."

"Not this one." She saw him looking a little clueless and sighed. "It was a gay club," she explained.

Gene threw his hands in the air.

"Great!" he cried, "now not only are you bringing back coppers you should leave well enough alone but Metal Mickey's _turning_ 'em too!"

"No, Gene, Shaz is bi," said Alex.

"By what?"

"No, _bi,"_ sighed Alex, "bisexual."

Gene froze for a moment and then looked for all the world as though someone had struck him over the head with a comedy frying pan.

"Christ on a bike, did Chris know she was a bit hotel/motel?"

"I don't know, Gene! I suspect not."

"Bloody hell," Gene shook his head.

"Oh, stop kidding yourself Gene, you can't still think Simon's the first non-heterosexual person you've ever had on your team?"

"Well who the bloody hell _else_ was there?"

Alex thought back.

"You can't tell me Ray wasn't overcompensating for something."

"Ray Carling was a man's man!" cried Gene, "I mean, a _ladies_ man… _you_ know what I mean, woman!" he stared at Alex. "And distraction techniques aside, this doesn't take away from the fact that meeting her was a very stupid thing to do."

Alex stared down at the table top and nodded slowly.

"I know, I know, I know," she said quietly. And she did. She _knew_ that. It hadn't stopped her though. "I didn't mean for this to happen, Gene," she said sincerely, "it all happened by chance. I ran into her… I _literally_ ran into her in the street. We barely said two words to each other and I thought that was that." She sighed and put her hand to her throbbing head. "Until it turned out that she and Kim had been seeing a fair bit of each other."

"Are you trying to tell me Stringer's chomping on Granger's carpet?" Gene asked tactfully.

"No," Alex rolled her eyes, "at least, not yet."

Gene scoffed.

"Don't tell Shoebury, he'll set the infidelity police on 'em," he said.

"He already has," sighed Alex.

Gene stared at her. He wasn't sure quite what to say. As far as he was aware this had never happened before. He supposed in the natural course of things people were long-gone by the time the 'original' was in their position of duty. But he and Alex had been in Fenchurch for a very long time.

"Bolly," he began, "I can't tell you what to do. But I can tell you this is not a good idea."

Alex exhaled sadly.

"I thought that's what you'd say," she nodded.

"I don't know what yer messing with here, Bols," Gene stared into her eyes, "it's the unknown. Don't remember this happening before, but I've got as bad feeling in me gut."

"That'll be all the grease," Alex tried to joke, but Gene was deadly serious.

"Shoebury was bad enough, following Baby Batman and visiting his past," he said, "but you know better."

"I miss Shaz,"Alex said quietly.

"You're not the only one who misses them when last orders have been called."

"But it was different with Shaz," Alex said quietly, "back when I first arrived, things were very different. It was a scary place for me, Gene. I didn't know what I was doing here, whether I was dead or alive – I just knew that this was a _very_ frightening place to be. There were little things I held onto. You were my constant, but Shaz… she was the only other woman, and we needed each other. It was a lot harder for us back then. Remember what things were like? You, Chris, Ray – it was like someone had made a misogyny room spray and sprayed it liberally around the station." She closed her eyes. "Aside from you, Shaz is probably the one person I have been closest to in all the years I've been in this world. And I miss her terribly."

Gene stared at her. The last thing he wanted was to put it like this but he had to be blunt.

"Granger was in eighty one for a reason. It's because 'er life in nineteen ninety bollocks ran out. You want to get to know her all over again and then watch her get flattened by a bus or fall from the top of BT tower? I don't know _how_ she dies, Bolly, but she _will._ And you'll have to sit back and watch it happen. You don't need that." He stared at her. "I don't need to see you go _through_ that."

Alex looked down. She knew what he was saying. It made sense, it all made perfect sense, but now she'd seen Shaz again it was just so hard to keep away. She breathed deeply. Her thumping hangover wasn't helping matters.

"I know," she said quietly.

Gene grunted a little.

"You gonna stay away?" he asked.

Alex hesitated.

"It might be hard," she said quietly, "she's growing very close to Kim."

"No more boozy nights out with the metal one then," said Gene.

Alex gave a deep sigh but reluctantly agreed.

"OK," she said, "no more." Silence fell. It was an awkward silence. She wasn't used to those around Gene. Hadn't been one for a very long time. She felt the need to fill it, to divert the conversation to other matters. She groaned as she rubbed her head. "God, I had some nightmares last night, Gene."

"Yeah, about Batman and the search for extra-terrestrial life from the sounds of it," Gene mumbled as he finished his last piece of bacon.

Alex shook her head slowly.

"No, Gene," she said quietly, "they were about Molly."

Gene froze, mid-chew. He swallowed, but the bacon felt like grit that caught in his throat.

"You've not mentioned her in weeks," he said quietly.

Alex nodded slowly.

"I know," she whispered.

Gene hesitated.

"What happened?"

Alex shook her head slowly and sighed.

"I don't know exactly, I just heard her calling out. Like she was in trouble and," she closed her eyes, "there was nothing I could do."

Gene looked at her a little concerned. It had been some time since she'd spoken about Molly. It seemed strange for Alex to bring her up suddenly.

"Sorry to hear that, Bols," he said.

Alex breathed in and out slowly.

"Maybe it was the drink?" she whispered, "or thinking too much about the past."

"Never does to think too much about the past," Gene wiped the last of the grease from his mouth and got to his feet, taking his plate to the sink. He didn't mean to gloss over her nightmare but he started to feel worried that thoughts of Molly would bring back to Alex a yearning to go back to 2011. He tried to block those thoughts from his mind. "I've got to get to Latte Land before they sell the last of the novelty Easter mugs," he said, "I'll pick you up something strong, black and very, _very _sweet."

"Not seven sugars, Gene," groaned Alex who couldn't even stand the thought of shoving one sip of coffee down her throat.

"See you at work," He said and he left Alex to nurse her hangover alone.

~xXx~

Gene didn't imagine that his day could possibly get any worse. First it had been the drunken Alex and the shock of Shaz being back on the scene, then he discovered that Latte Land had sold the final Easter mug to Vickery just five minutes before his arrival, _then_ someone had tactfully pointed out to him that he had a grease stain on his shirt in the shape of a penis and then finally he'd slipped on a spilt patch of latte from where Vickery's novelty mug had melted on the floor.

He thought that was as bad as it could possibly get. _That's_ when he got the call from Shoebury Senior, and suddenly his day from hell got an awful lot worse.

"_Shoebury!"_

That single word booming down the corridor struck terror into Simon's heart. He peered around the doorway and suddenly a hand reached out, grasped him by the collar and slammed him against the filing cabinet.

"_Oof!"_ the breath left Simon's body with a jolt. It took him a moment to gain his vision back from the shock and found Gene's nose an inch away from his and angry eyes glaring at him.

"When are you gonna learn, Shoebury?" he demanded.

Simon gulped.

"Learn _what?_ He squeaked.

"If you're not stalking fifteen year old Robins or sneaking into yer old nerdy room you're stealing family photo albums!"

Simon closed his eyes. _Damn,_ he thought he'd have been able to get away with that, no problem. How did they even _know?_

"Gene, _listen,"_ he tried protesting but Gene wasn't in the mood to hear him out.

"Got a call from yer daddy," he said crossly, "wondering if any of our fine officers took one of his albums as part of the investigation. Saw the gap on the shelf and your sister hadn't moved it. Thought we might have needed it as evidence." He gave Simon an extra shove into the filing cabinet. "Now, can you explain to me how a photo album just happened to go missing while _we_ were in that house? Or did it get abducted?"

Simon swallowed.

"Err, Gene, can you let me go now, please?" he begged.

"Not until you've told me where to find the missing collection of happy snaps," said Gene.

"Please?" Simon begged, "you're giving me a…" he flushed, "_situation."_

"What sort of situation?" Gene demanded as Simon's eyes turned downward. Gene froze for a second. "_Urgh!"_

He dropped Simon immediately and backed away as though retreating to a safe distance.

"Oh for God's sake, Gene, don't be a coward, it's not going to get you over there!" Simon protested. His cheeks were flushing a bright shade of red and he wanted to disappear into the ground. "Oh _God,_ there's going to be more graffiti now, isn't there?"

"What's the _matter _with you, Shoe-boy?" Gene cried in horror, "you got some sort of domination fetish?"

_"Five months!"_ cried Simon, "Five fucking months and the most action I've had was when I wore a pair of underpants a size too small! _You_ try going that long without any action and see how you cope!"

Gene did feel a little sorry for Simon. Thanks to Alex's ever-increasing libido he wasn't likely to be in that position. Five _hours_ was sometimes the limit these days. It didn't excuse the fact that he'd had to see _that_ trouser tent again though. He averted his eyes while Simon picked up a rather hefty-looking file to cover himself up with.

"How about looking for that blasted photo album to cover up _Little Simon_ with instead?" Gene barked.

Simon looked at Gene guiltily. His predicament was almost forgotten for a moment as he said quietly,

"I just wanted something to remember them by."

Gene stared at him. He did understand, to a point, but it didn't excuse what he'd done. They were getting sloppy, they were_ all_ getting sloppy and after the changes his world had been through lately he didn't want to take any risks. Who knew if they were going to start seeing stars or things would start falling apart around them? He shook his head.

"Give me the bloody pictures," he said, holding out his hand, "I'll take them back, pretend they were taken by mistake and then you keep yer nose away from _Shoebury City_, OK?"

Simon breathed deeply. He really didn't want to give up the pictures. He had nothing to remind himself of home and this was the one thing he wanted to cling on to.

"Can I maybe take some copies first?" he said quietly.

Gene hesitated. He cursed himself for going soft.

"Make it bloody quick," he said.

"Thanks, Gene," Simon breathed.

"And just on the copier," Gene told him, "not having you wandering off for bloody poncy reprints in work time!

Simon gave him a grateful smile which just made Gene scowl more.

"Sure," he said.

He put down the hefty file, his trouser situation more or less rectified and reached into his desk drawer where he pulled out a small white photo album with a little silver trim. It fell open at a shot of what seemed to be a very young Simon paddling in the sea.

"Bloody hell, you've always been scrawny," said Gene.

"Give me a break, I was only about three there," sighed Simon.

Curiosity got the better of Gene and he snatched the album from him, flipping the pictures over one at a time.

"Even at the age of three you were a nerd in the making," he commented.

"How d'you figure that out?" Simon asked, a little annoyed.

"Look, most kids build sandcastles, you've built a bloody sand spaceship!"

Simon blushed.

"Good job the snow photos aren't in that one," he mumbled, "dread to think what you'd make of my snow UFO."

"How old were you when you made that?" Gene asked, "same age as the sand spaceship?"

Simon hung his head.

"No, this was in two thousand and nine," he muttered.

Somehow that didn't surprise Gene. He flicked to another photo in which Simon's sisters appeared to be killing each other, and then one of Simon's father, heavily sunburnt.

"Your dad usually that shade o' red?" he asked.

Simon sighed.

"No," he said, "fell asleep in the sun. With one arm across his chest. Everyone thought it was an interesting shirt design."

As Gene flipped to another picture he seemed to freeze for a moment. He tilted the album to one side.

"Is this yer mother?"

Simon nodded slowly.

"Yes," he whispered.

Gene stared at the photograph.

"Nice looking woman," he said.

"Don't go getting the horn for my mother," Simon frowned.

"Looks familiar," Gene frowned. The picture was slightly distant and a little unclear. He couldn't make out her features very well "You say she had family in Manchester?"

Simon nodded.

"I don't know anything about them though," he said, then hesitated. "Why have I got this horrible feeling you're about to tell me you've got them all banged up in some Mancunian prison?"

Gene sighed as he flipped to another picture.

"What year were these taken?" he asked.

Simon scratched his head.

"Eighty one?" he guessed.

"Someone's camera skills left much to be desired," Gene said, tiling his head at a slanting, headless picture of Simon.

"Yeah, I think that was Elaine," Simon sighed.

Gene closed the album and handed it back to Simon.

"Go on," he said, "bugger off. Copy your photos and get this back on my desk in half an hour. Right?"

"Sure." Simon took the album, "thanks, Gene."

"One word to anyone… if anyone thinks I'm going soft, then forget trouser tents, you'll be getting a bloody camping stove up your arse!"

Simon scowled and left the room, muttering,

"At this point even _that _sounds attractive."

Gene sighed and shook his head as Simon left the room. Events of the day were disturbing him greatly. Too many people messing with their past, too many familiar faces, too many encounters with people they should be staying well enough away from. He felt anxious as he retreated to his office. The world had been in a precarious state recently. He hoped that it would survive this latest wave of strangeness.


	10. Chapter 9: The Latte of Apology

**Chapter 9**

Dark glasses? _Check._ Packet of paracetamol? _Check._ Slightly green hue to face? _Oh yes indeed._

Alex's hangover was so clear to see that the astronauts in the space station reported spotting it from a such great distance. She ignored the sniggers and the raised eyebrows from people as she walked through the corridors and made her way to her office. She closed the door very, very quietly behind her and sank down into her seat with a groan. She hadn't seen a hangover like this since her early days in Gene's world when wine seemed like her only friend.

The knock at the door was the last thing she needed for more reasons than one. She clung to her fragile head as the sound reverberated around the room and said hoarsely,

"_Come in?"_

A very bright and cheerful Kim poked her head around the door.

"Ma'am?" she said, "I just wanted to see how you were?"

Alex's head sank to the desk.

"As you can see I am a picture of health," she groaned.

"Yeah… you _were_ putting it away a bit last night," Kim pointed out.

"Well so were _you,"_ Alex reminded her, "how come you're bright eyed and bushy tailed?"

"I don't know, Ma'am," Kim felt a little awkward, "maybe I've been getting in more practice lately?"

"Hmm," Alex had to admit that she couldn't hold her drink the way she used to. Not having a regular haunt didn't exactly help in terms of getting in any practice. "Well, anyway thank you for your concern Kim but I'm fine."

"Shaz said she had a great night," said Kim.

"She…" Alex paused. "You called her Shaz?"

"Oh," Kim smiled, "she loved the nickname you gave her… I think it's kind of stuck."

Alex felt her heart give a strange flutter at the thought of that. Shaz was '_Shaz' _again. Not Sharon, _Shaz._ She smiled.

"Oh," she said, "that's… that's _nice."_

Kim shuffled a little at the door.

"We both had fun," she said, "and if you maybe wanted to join us some other time… maybe next week or something… that would be OK with us."

Alex smiled at the invitation. She couldn't see Gene approving somehow but it was a most wonderful thought.

"I think I'd like that," she said quietly. _Next week._ That gave her plenty of time to either change Gene's mind or to get out of going. Either way, she was placing her bookmark in the page.

"Maybe the Guv can come," Kim said, "if he wants to."

Alex couldn't stop a snort of laughter escaping.

"Oh my goodness, Kim – can you really see him in the middle of a gay club, getting hot and sweaty with all the colours of the rainbow?"

Kim gave a slightly embarrassed laugh.

"No, I suppose not," she said. She had to admit she'd only said it to be polite. She ran a hand through her hair, still a little gunged up with gel from the night before and said, "I'd better be going, anyway. Hope your head feels better soon, ma'am."

Alex gave a thin smile.

"So do I," she sighed.

~xXx~

"Here."

A thump on the desk made Gene look up rather abruptly.

"About bloody time," he said, "What were you doing, photocopying them or hand-drawing them in charcoal?"

Simon wasn't really in the mood for Gene's wit right then. Going through the album and taking photocopies had made him feel quite emotional and now he was feeling even more depressed than ever.

"Just take it back with my apologies, yeah?" he said half-heartedly as he left the office and slumped through CID just as Eddie the Stapler Guy arrived. Simon glanced at him, feeling a little guilty. It wasn't all that long ago he'd been in that position, those strange early moments, the arrival in the strange place. The poor man was going to be known forever as The Stapler Guy. It had taken Simon long enough to shake off the iPhone label. "Hello," he said a little awkwardly, "how are you doing?"

"Me?" Eddie shrugged, "I'm fine. Fine as a bottle of wine, because I'm just having a dream."

Simon gave a false smile and patted him on the back.

"Lovely. Good for you. Erm… fight the power."

He left in a hurry, cringing. He really wasn't cut out for this. Not in the slightest.

Eddie sat down at a random desk and started tapping out a drum beat on the surface. His drumming became harder and louder with each passing moment until a very angry Gene appeared in the doorway of his office and barked,

"_Do you mind? Some of us still have eardrums and we're not intending to let 'em burst!"_

"Hey, hey, woah," Kim's arrival couldn't have been timed any better, "what's going on? It sounded like there was a bloody drumfest going on from the corridor."

"Ask your Staple Mate," Gene barked, slamming the door so hard that it rocked Alex's hangover all the way over in her office.

Kim looked at Eddie.

"It's not on, you know," she said.

"What isn't?"

"Upsetting the Guv."

Eddie leaned back and laughed.

"Look," he began, "I've got this sussed. I'm lucid dreaming. I know this isn't real. I'm off in a hospital somewhere and waiting to wake up, and in the meanwhile I'm having a wacked-out, crazy dream. Now, I know I was a bit shaken up at first," He leaned forward a little, "but that's when I thought I was going crazy. Now I know this is a dream I'm just going to sit back and enjoy it." He folded his arms and leaned back in the chair. "Bloody long one, though. One of those dreams that goes on forever."

"Eddie," Kim pulled up a chair and sat down. She breathed in deeply. This wasn't even her place to say. This was Gene's job, or Alex's or Simon's, but they all seemed preoccupied with their own business, "if you don't stop talking rubbish then you're going to find yourself in trouble one way or another. Now you need to pull yourself together and get on with your job."

"Nope, no way," said Eddie, "come on – I'm not going to waste and opportunity like this! It's my dream, my subconscious and I'm going to have some fun."

Kim waved her hand a little as the scent of alcohol hit her.

"It smells like you already have," she wrinkled up her nose. This was early in the morning even for someone like _Gene._ Hmm, perhaps Eddie and the Guv would get on better than she realised. "Look, think about this, Eddie. What if you're wrong? You're just a normal guy, a detective who is here to do a job. Now, there's an arsonist to catch, he struck again last night. DCI Hunt needs us all on the ball."

"What are you doing tonight?" Eddie asked quite suddenly.

"I'm sorry?"

"Let's go out," said Eddie, "bit of booze, bit of dancing –"

"Bit of turning straight?" sighed Kim, "no can do, Eddie, my bread's not buttered that side."

Eddie hesitated.

"Hmm," he said, maybe not right now, but if I concentrate _reeeeeeaaaallly_ hard I can imagine away your lesbian tendencies and make you fall at my feet."

Kim coughed wildly as a giggle exploded from her throat. She tried to compose herself before addressing him seriously.

"Look, Eddie," she began, "whatever you _think_ you know, you're way off the mark. So cut out all of this crap and take things seriously. You say you want some fun? Before you know it you'll have piled on two stone, filled your ears with holes and started sleeping with the enemy."

Eddie hesitated.

"And how big would the enemy's boobs be?" he asked out of interest.

Kim rolled her eyes and got to her feet.

"Stop fucking about," she warned him, "shape up. Remember yesterday?" he nodded, "you were doing real police work, not some weird dream scenario. It's not like all the cops in uniform are wearing three-inch skirts and carrying pink, fluffy handcuffs – if this is all a dream then, Eddie, boy, you have the lamest imagination in history."

Eddie stared at her, a little crestfallen. He felt his heart starting to pulse a little faster.

"I was hit by a car," he said.

Kim stared at him.

"Pardon?"

"Suspect drove straight for me. I felt this pain… then everything went black."

Kim breathed in deeply. She knew the spiel. She knew this was the part where she should tell him to stop talking nonsense. This was the part where she should tell him he was crazy. But those words never did _her_ any good. There had to be another way.

"If that's what you really believe," she said, "then instead of taking this opportunity for granted start thinking about why you're here and what you can get out of it. Nineteen ninety six, Eddie." She stood up. "Think on."

Eddie stared after her as she walked away. Something in her words really did make him stop and think. He shook his head just a little as he thought about the meaning of the year. It was true – of all the years he could have picked to dream about this wouldn't have been his year of choice. Suddenly he began to wonder if he had a whole lot more to think about than he realised before.

~xXx~

Alex carefully carried the latte through CID and slowly opened Gene's door. He didn't notice her at first, his attention focused on Simon's little family album, laying open in his hands. She gave a little cough and he looked up in surprise.

"Sorry, Bols," he snapped the album closed, "I'm as distracted as a penguin in an iceberg showroom."

Alex held out the latte.

"Peace offering?" she asked.

Gene hesitated.

"Yesterday's had more impact," he told her.

Alex rubbed her head as she sat the cup on the desk.

"Yes, well," she flushed a little, "I think you might have to wait until the room stops spinning for an encore." She glanced at the photo album. "What's that? Looks like you were well and truly engrossed."

Gene sighed deeply.

"Nah," he shrugged, "Just letting me imagination runaway with me. That's all."

"Oh dear," Alex sat on the edge of the desk, "what's happened now? Who's come back from the dead?"

Gene sighed.

"No one. Need to clear me head, that's all."

Alex bit her lip a little guiltily.

"I've added to your worries, haven't I?" she asked.

Gene closed his eyes for a moment.

"The rules started changing, Lady B," he said, "and I don't know where I stand. But too many people are taking risks. Yer all playing metaphysical chicken."

Alex quite liked that analogy. She gave Gene a smile.

"Look, I'll leave you in peace with your latte," she said, "I'll make it up to you for last night. Promise." She walked to the doorway and opened the door. "And clear that head. I want fewer worries in your mind than I'll be wearing clothes tonight." To her horror she glanced around to find Terry and Poirot standing outside, listening to her declaration. She flushed a deep shade of red and gave a business-like nod. "As you were."

Before she could leave CID she heard a voice from the corridor outside asking,

"Could you tell me where I can find Alex? Alex Drake?"

Alex frowned.

"You've found her," she called out.

To her surprise Shaz arrived at the entrance to the office. It made her draw back a little in shock.

"Shaz?" she said quietly, "what are you doing here?"

Shaz gave her a bright smile.

"I found your earring," she said, holding out a black triangular piece of jewellery.

Alex looked at her in surprise. She'd been so out of it the night before that she hadn't even known one was missing.

"Oh," she said with a cautious smile, "Thanks, Shaz. _Sharron."_

Shaz smiled.

"Oh, no, I like the nickname," she said.

Alex felt a little awkward.

"Where did you find my earring?" she asked.

"It was caught on my coat," Shaz told her.

Alex frowned.

"How did it get there?" she wondered.

"It must have been when you tried to crawl into my armpit," said Shaz. She saw Alex's blank expression and tried to elaborate. "When the meter in the taxi was freaking you out? The numbers were changing too fast?"

Alex gave a nervous laugh.

"I'm sure when that comes back to me it'll be one of my proudest moments," she said.

To her great surprise she heard a voice from behind her.

"Hello, love."

She glanced around to see Gene staring at Shaz. His expression was strange, his features contorted between anxiety and fondness for the girl they'd said goodbye to so long ago.

"Hello," Shaz said with an awkward wave.

Gene shuffled forward.

"I don't think we were properly introduced last night," Gene told her. The brief exchange had consisted mostly of Kim apologising for Alex's condition and Gene staring at Shaz in seven shades of shock. "DCI Gene Hunt." He held out his hand to shake hers.

There was a very strange moment as she smiled pleasantly and accepted the gesture. Shaking his hand sent a strange shudder down Gene's spine. It was like the _opposite_ of seeing a ghost.

"Hello," she said with her bright, friendly expression, "I'm Sharon. Or Shaz, _she_ calls me," she nodded at Alex and gave a little laugh. She started to walk toward the door and said apologetically. "I've got to get back to work. But it was a fun evening last night."

Alex's smile was tinted with sadness.

"Yes, it was, wasn't it?" she said, her voice wavering slightly.

"Maybe we can do it again sometime."

Alex swallowed. She had a feeling Gene wouldn't be allowing that.

"That would be lovely," she said quietly.

As they waved goodbye, Alex glanced back at Gene but found a closing door in his place. She peered through the glass to see him walking around his office with his hands to his head. That was the moment she realised that she was no special case. Seeing Shaz again had sent Gene into just as much of a spin as it had herself. She bit her lip and turned away. She knew he was going to need a little space for now. But there would be serious discussions to come later, of that she was certain.


	11. Chapter 10: The Disappearing Gene

**Chapter 10**

Alex was starting to get worried. Gene had done a very good job of being invisible for most of the afternoon. He had been 'out' most of the day for various reasons that were bordering on excuses. There was the job of returning Simon's photo album, a trip to the previous night's arson victim, a rather long session of staking out Latte Land on the tip-off from a coffee-drinking snout that they were going to have one last emergency consignment of Easter mugs that afternoon and after that he had pretty much gone AWOL. That wasn't like Gene and Alex was becoming concerned.

Everything was set up and ready. There was dinner on the table, wine ready to pour and brand new lingerie under her dress but no sign of Gene. What good was an apology surprise without the man she was trying to apologise to?

She thought about blowing out the candles so there would still be some left by the time he arrived rather than a couple of pools of wax on the table but before she had the chance the door finally opened and a rather exhausted and worried Gene arrived in the doorway. He took one look at the table, all set up for the evening, then one look at Alex's dangerously low cut top and immediately began to regret his lengthy disappearing act.

"Flaming heck, you can lose rock climbers down that!" he commented, focusing on her cleavage.

Alex looked at him seriously. Any other time she'd have been giving a smart or sexy reply but this wasn't the time.

"Where have you been?" she asked, "I've been worried."

Gene honestly didn't realise how long he'd been gone. Glancing at the clock he realised he'd been meandering for far longer than he'd thought. He tiredly walked across to the table and looked at her a little guiltily.

"Sorry, Bolly, the time got away with me," he sighed.

He held her head to him as some sort of hybrid apologetic and comforting action, comforting for himself rather than for her. His mind was still troubled and getting no clearer.

"You made me feel as guilty as anything for going out last night without letting you know and then leave me wondering if you've gone up in flames or wandered off a bridge!" Alex reprimanded.

Gene slowly sat down and faced Alex seriously.

"I needed to think," he said, "on my own."

"About?"

Gene sighed.

"Shaz."

Alex bit her lip. She nodded very slowly.

"I thought you might, she said quietly. She saw Gene looking down at the plate of pasta. "It's cold. Do you want me to warm it up?"

"Don't microwaves kill yer brain cells and sperm?" Gene asked, trying to piece together things he'd vaguely heard on the news.

"I'll be killing off your engagement if you don't at least eat this after I spent an hour in the kitchen," Alex told him, taking the plate and heading into the kitchen. Gene listened for a few bleeps, then Alex returned for the second plate.

"Sorry," he said again.

Alex sat in front of him and looked at him seriously. She reached out to take his hand across the table.

"Threw you a bit," she said quietly, "didn't it? Seeing her."

Gene hesitated, then nodded. He couldn't deny it.

"This morning didn't get to say two words to the girl," he said, "It was, _special delivery, here's yer drunken Alex_ and before I knew it she'd gone." He reached for the bottle, poured some wine and took a large gulp. "Talking to her. Seeing her there, talking to you. Made me think."

Alex chewed on her lip as she watched Gene's expression.

"Think about what?" she asked.

Gene swallowed another mouthful fo wine.

"I miss 'er too," he admitted. He looked down and let out the loudest sigh Alex had ever heard. "We don't talk about this crap, do we? We wipe their noses, wipe their arses, send them on their way and play the big charade of _Who's Nobody_. Never talk about them. Never remember them. Get back to the office and find a bunch of new, green idiots waiting for us to show them the ropes." He shook his head. "Never say _'Hello again'_."

Alex nodded slowly, her eyes looking shiny with tears. This was something she had long wanted to express and never fekt able toi.

"I miss them when they've gone,." She whispered, "but I never can say so."

Gene nodded and stared into his wine.

"Know who I miss?"

"Ray?" asked Alex.

"Someone without a moustache."

"Sam?"

Gene shook his head.

"Forgot about Tyler," he admitted, "feel like he's a given so I never think to say."

"Who then?" asked Alex.

Gene sighed.

"Kite."

"Susannah?" frowned Alex. That surprised her.

"Could well do without her first aid kit but she was a bloody good DI."

Alex nodded. She certainly was.

"I miss them all in different ways," she said as the microwave bleeped. She got to her feet. "I just don't want to always be saying goodbye."

Gene watched her leave the room and return a few moments later with his cold pasta, now steaming and hot.

"Sure this isn't going to kill off any of me most valuable cells?" he asked.

"Might kill off your taste buds if you don't wait for a minute," said Alex, "it's piping hot. Be careful."

"I can handle it," mumbled Gene as he shovelled a forkful of tagliatelle into his mouth. _"Ow!"_

"Warned you," Alex called as she returned to the kitchen to heat up her own.

The smell of the pasta reminded Gene how hungry he was. He'd missed lunch and had nothing but lattes all afternoon and evening. He risked another forkful which burnt his tongue almost as much as the first.

"_Shit,"_ he mumbled.

Alex came back just in time to see him fanning his mouth and tipping water down his throat.

"It's like telling a four year old," she admonished. She sat back down while the microwave whirred in the kitchen. "So," she took a deep breath, "did you come to any conclusions with your hours of thinking?"

Gene wished his answer was yes. He really did, but the more he thought the more confused he became.

"I don't know the rules on this one, Bolly," he sighed.

"I'm not seeing any stars," Alex said quietly.

"But you want to see Shaz," Gene said. It was a statement of fact rather than a question. Alex nodded slowly.

"I wish I could just stay away and do what you want," she said quietly, "but getting a friend back after all these years," she shook her head slowly, "I don't want to give that up."

Gene closed his eyes for a second.

"I know you don't," he said, "I didn't understand why until –" he trailed off.

Alex stared at him, ignoring the bleeping of the microwave.

"Until you spoke to her today."

"And she was in uniform," Gene added, "different one to the one we used to see her in every day but still."

Alex looked at him seriously.

"How did it make you feel?"

Gene exhaled and reached for the bottle to top up his wine.

"Bloody peculiar," he said.

Alex bit her lip.

"You asked me not to see her again," she said.

"I know. I thought that was for the best."

Alex hesitated.

"And now?"

Gene stared back. Eons passed without comment until he finally shook his head.

"I don't know, Bols. Me head and me heart can't agree on this one. Hung jury."

Alex nodded slowly. It wasn't a 'yes', it wasn't the go-ahead to see Shaz but it was more than she'd had earlier that day.

"Maybe we'll just see how things go?" she asked hopefully.

Gene couldn't commit to that. He couldn't say for sure that there wouldn't be stars all over the ceiling that night or voices down the corridor by morning. But as much as he hated to admit it he couldn't ask Alex not to see her again. Not when he'd felt so strangely happy to see Shaz himself. Slowly, he gave a nod.

"We'll see," he said quietly.

He saw a smile of nervous excitement on Alex's face. He hoped she wasn't reading more of a promise into that than he was trying to offer, but there would be time to clarify later and more discussions, he was sure. With a smile she got to her feet and set off to collect her own plate of pasta. As Gene returned to his quest of burning his tongue on the tagliatelle he couldn't chase that meeting from his mind. It was the strangest feeling of all. Whatever happened with Shaz from then onwards, he couldn't help feeling that something had changed.

~xXx~

_# …You can do what you want just seize the day_

_What you're doing tomorrow's gonna come your way_

_Don't you ever consider givin' up, you will find, oooh… #_

The irony of the lyrics wasn't lost on Kim as she danced to _Beautiful Life_ with Shaz. The club was heaving, there were bodies smooshing up against each other all over the place and yet Kim found herself constantly edging away from Shaz. The closer Shaz drew, the more Kim backed away. They'd worked their way right across the dancefloor in this way.

Kim couldn't keep dancing backwards forever. The wall was calling and Shaz's eyes were becoming deeper, darker and ever more determined.

_Oh good lord,_ Kim felt her heart thumping as she watched Shaz's tongue run across her lips. She longed to seize the day, to reach out and show Shaz just what she was doing to her mind and her heart but Simon's warning played through her head. Thoughts of her girlfriend back home built on her guilt complex and she tried desperately to resist.

But… but it had been almost a year now. She'd been in Gene's world for almost a _year._ Her feelings for Sandra weren't what they used to be. She hated to admit that, but it was true. It wasn't like a long distance relationship where you at least knew you could pick up the phone or send an email. It wasn't as though she had a date to work to and knew she would get home by a certain time. She could be in Gene's world for another week, another year, another decade – she had no idea.

_# …It's a beautiful life, oh oh ooo_

_It's a beautiful life, oh oh ooo_

_It's a beautiful life, oh oh ooo_

_I just wanna be here beside you_

_stay until the break of dawn…#_

_Oh God,_ Shaz was staring into her eyes again. She had a look upon her face with a kind of deep emotion that Kim had rarely seen. Had Sandra ever looked at her that way? She didn't think so. To her dismay she felt herself give a tiny gasp. Oh no, had Shaz heard? Before she could wonder for too long she felt her hands against her shoulders. The touch was electric. Something so slight and so innocent and yet it sent wild shudders through her from head to toe.

_# …Take a walk in the park when you feel down_

_There's so many things there_

_that's gonna lift you up_

_See the nature in bloom a laughing child_

_Such a dream, oooh… #_

Very slowly Shaz leaned forward, rested her forehead against Kim's and sent the young girl's heart fluttering. Her hands were shaking. When was the last time she'd felt this way about someone? Had she ever? Her eyes turned upwards and found Shaz's staring into them deeply. She swallowed and licked her dry lips. Quite suddenly she lost the ability to speak or even to move. She was caught in that moment, paralysed in a beautiful stare.

_# …It's a beautiful life, oh oh ooo_

_It's a beautiful life, oh oh ooo_

_It's a beautiful life, oh oh ooo_

_I just wanna be here beside you_

_I just wanna be here beside you_

_stay until the break of dawn… #_

The stare was broken as Shaz began to close her eyes. Kim swallowed – she knew what was coming next. There was still time to stop it… still time to break away and –

Her closing eyes halted her thoughts. She was powerless to stop it. She couldn't fight it any longer. The attraction was too strong, the sparks flying too wildly and the desire burning too brightly. She felt her head starting to tilt upwards, just a little, and she knew what was coming. She had no strength to say no.

And besides, she didn't want to anyway.

_# …You're looking for somewhere to belong_

_You're standing all alone_

_for someone to guide you on your way_

_Now and Forever… #_

As she felt the softness of Shaz's lips brushing gently against her own, for the first time since she'd arrived in Gene's world she felt loved, wanted, needed. She stopped feeling like a stranger and found she finally felt as though she belonged. As the kiss deepened and she felt Shaz's hands slide around the back of her head she almost forgot to breathe. Her heart forgot to beat. Nothing else existed, just them, the moment and the music.

_# …It's a beautiful life, oh oh ooo_

_It's a beautiful life, oh oh ooo_

_It's a beautiful life, oh oh ooo_

_I just wanna be anybody… #_

As the kiss reached its natural end and her eyes opened, Kim saw Shaz smiling back at her. There was a smile across her own lips too, she knew that. It was unavoidable. She couldn't fight it, even if she wanted to. The smudge of lipstick around Shaz's face was one Kim was certain her own lips echoed. She finally remembered to breathe, taking in a lungful of air and caching Shaz's scent along with it.

Once wasn't enough. Once was never enough. She was tired of fighting it, and she'd already given in once so she had no willpower when she found her hands moving towards Shaz's face, holding it gently and bringing it towards her for a repeat performance. Her heart was beating so hard and so fast it reminded her that she was alive. Well and truly alive.

_# …Living in different ways_

_It's a beautiful life_

_I'm gonna take you to a place I've never been_

_before oh yeah_

_It's a beautiful life_

_I'm gonna take you in my arms and fly away_

_with you tonight… #_

Kim would never forget the kiss, the moment or the night. She knew there would be lectures and consequences but she was so damn lonely and Shaz made her feel as light as the air. It was about time she let her heart beat wildly and tenderness fill her life. She'd stumbled from one tragic incident to another since she arrived in this world. Now this was her time. This was her moment and her happiness and nothing was going to take that away from her.

As for tomorrow?

Fuck tomorrow. It was tonight that mattered.

_# …It's a beautiful life, oh oh ooo_

_It's a beautiful life, oh oh ooo_

_It's a beautiful life, oh oh ooo_

_It's a beautiful life, oh oh ooo_

_It's a beautiful life, oh oh ooo_

_It's a beautiful life… #_


	12. Chapter 11: The Infidelity Police

**Chapter 11**

Simon awoke with a start as the key turned in the lock. He felt as though he shot ten feet into the air. In reality all he'd done was sit upright. His head felt fuzzy and he blinked a few times. The sight of Kim coming into the lounge came into focus. He immediately felt his hackles go up although it took him a moment to work out why.

"Hey," she seemed surprised to see him, "what are you doing, Simon? I thought you would have been out at karaoke tonight."

Simon gave her a slightly evil look.

"I fell asleep," he said crossly.

For a second Kim froze. She couldn't understand what she'd done wrong. Unless… no, he couldn't have known about Shaz. That was impossible. She took a little step back.

"Have… have I done something to upset you?" she asked.

For a second Simon glared, then his expression relaxed and he realised what an idiot he was being. He shook his head slowly and sighed in frustration at himself.

"Oh God, Kim," he said, "you know when someone does something horrible in a dream and the next day you actually feel pissed off with them for it even though there's nothing they could have done?"

Kim hesitated.

"Oh god, what did I do now?" she demanded, "it was the nightmare about me burning your Red Dwarf videos again, wasn't it?"

Simon sighed again and shook his head.

"No, it's really stupid," he said.

Kim sank onto the couch beside him.

"Come on," she said, "spill it. If you're pissed off with _Dream-Kim_ then I might as well know why."

Simon looked at her a little awkwardly.,

"I don't even know where it came from," he said, "I…" he flinched at the stupidity of the dream, "I dreamed about you, in bed with Robin."

Kim started to laugh. She couldn't help it.

"What?" she giggled.

"I know, it's really dumb," Simon hung his head, "It made no sense at all."

"I never even met him," Kim reminded Simon.

"I know," Simon sighed.

Kim took off her shoes and massaged her toes.

"What were you doing falling asleep and missing out on a night out anyway?" she asked.

Simon reached into his pocket and pulled out a box of pills.

"I got these from the doctor," he said quietly.

Kim took the box and stared at them.

"Tranquilisers?" she frowned, "are you sure that's a good idea/"

"I've not been sleeping well," Simon mumbled.

"You've not been _functioning_ well," Kim corrected, "come on, Simon, you're already in bits, I don't think this is going to help."

Simon snatched them back. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything.

"I just needed a bit of extra help, that's all," he mumbled.

"Try eating," Kim told him, "try not getting blitzed out of your head every night. Try actually doing your job and trying to find other things to live for."

"Not that easy," said Simon. As he spoke he caught sight of a slightly red hue around Kim's mouth. "Hmm," he frowned, "don't remember you wearing any lipstick when you went out."

Kim froze. Then her cheeks turned the same colour as the staining on her lips.

"Oh," she began awkwardly, "I put some on at the club."

Simon raised an eyebrow.

"Oh you did now, did you?" he asked.

"Yes."

Simon stared at her.

"And what exactly did you use to apply this lipstick?" he asked sarcastically, "because whatever it was, I think your technique needs some fine tuning."

Kim felt the guilt swelling in her chest again but the memory of her kiss with Shaz overrode it. It wasn't as though she'd eloped with the girl! They'd only kissed. Why should she feel guilty for having a life?

"Actually, Simon, I'm pretty tired so if you don't mind," she started to potter around, getting ready for bed as a large hint for Simon to remove his backside and head to bed himself. He got to his feet with a frown.

"I hope you know what you're doing," he warned.

"Ditto," said Kim, "take your sleepyhead pills with you."

"With pleasure," Simon snapped.

"At least I know which of us will be having the sweeter dreams tonight," Kim commented slyly as she pulled the duvet around her.

Simon scowled but didn't have a comeback for that. Instead he just marched to his room to contemplate her possible infidelity alone.

~xXx~

Despite burning off half his taste buds, Gene had to admit that the pasta had been fantastic and even if it didn't make up for Alex's behaviour on the town the night before by itself then her plunging neckline certainly did.

"What's for pudding?" he asked, quite unable to remove his eyes from that area.

"Looks like you've already chosen what you want," Alex told him. She got to her feet and collected both their plates, walking to the kitchen with an exaggerated wiggle of her posterior to make sure Gene knew the apology wasn't ending with the meal. He topped up both their glasses as he awaited her return and then began a little nervously,

"Been thinking about what you said before."

Alex sat down and lifted her refilled glass.

"Which thing?" she asked, "if it was the one about burning your tongue then I think you learned the lesson the hard way."

"No, not that one," said Gene, "about Shaz. Taking things as they come."

Alex froze, her glass an inch away from her lips.

"Yes?"

Gene spread his hands on the table and looked down.

"I'm buggered if I know what the right thing to do here is," he said, "but we're in a fix. Now you've 'met' her it won't be easy to stay out of her way, especially if she's got herself hooked on Metal Mickey's body mods." He looked at Alex seriously. "And we can't exactly tell Kim why her new boozing buddy doesn't want to see her new friend any more."

Alex breathed deeply. There was so much to consider.

"If it came to it… if we had to," she began, not wanting for a moment to be banned from seeing Shaz but trying to be balanced in her views, "then we _could_ explain it to Kim. She does 'know' about this world."

Gene looked at Alex grimly.

"You want to be the one to tell Stringer her new carpet's about to end up six feet under?" he asked.

Despite his horrendous turn of phrase Alex shuddered at the thought. If Kim and Shaz were becoming so close and Shaz's passing was around the corner then Kim was going to be in for a terrible shock at some point in the near future. She put her head in her hands.

"Oh God," she sighed, "that's horrible, Gene."

Gene breathed in deeply.

"But," he began, "not that I'm becoming a fan of the whole _fate and destiny bollocks_ mind, but she 'ad to have a reason for coming this way. There has to be a reason. Just don't know what it is yet."

Alex looked at him expectantly, trying to fill in the gaps from what he wasn't saying yet.

"So…?" she prompted, "what does this mean?"

"It means," Gene sighed, "that if Stringer drags her along for some Latte Throwing competition in me local beverage supplier of choice or you walk down the road and find her on the beat then it won't hurt to say hello." He paused. "But any more legless Bollys in the early hours of the morning are strictly forbidden," he lifted his wine, "unless they happen to be on me arm at the time."

Alex found herself smiling more broadly than she had in days. It might not be an ideal situation but she at least had a hint of hope that she might be able to see Shaz, at least every now and then. That was more than she had that morning and more than she had earlier that night.

"I think," she said, trying to hide her excitement, "that's about the best decision we can make for now."

Gene exhaled loudly and looked for all of the world as though he had the heaviest weight upon his shoulders. He drank more wine until he drained his glass dry and then looked back at Alex.

"Did I send her too soon?"

Alex wasn't sure what he meant.

"I don't know if I understand?" she said quietly.

"The Railway Arms," he said, "maybe she was too young."

Alex frowned.

"What's brought this on?" she asked.

"Seeing the age of her today, Bols," he shook his head, "she's so young."

"Yes, and she had three fantastic years with you and the old team," Alex reminded her.

"Was it enough though?"

Alex looked at him seriously.

"You know you did the right thing."

"But did I?" he stared at her, "I was wrong about _you."_

Alex sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.

"I was a different case," she reminded him, "and besides, I came back."

"If I made a mistake with you I could have made one with her."

Alex sighed.

"Gene… I saw stars," she whispered, "inside the pub. Remember? I told you everything. Shaz didn't see them. It was only me. Shaz was where she was supposed to be. With Chris."

Gene thought about her words and nodded slowly. Her words made a lot of sense.

"I hope you're right Bols," he said.

"You've never worried about this kind of thing before," Alex pointed out quietly.

Gene rubbed his temples. His head was starting to hurt.

"Today's got me head in a spin," he sighed.

Alex nodded. She could see that.

"I need your head to stop spinning in that case," she said quietly. She got to her feet and reached for his hand. "Come on."

"Yer not going to teach me the correct settings on the microwave to burn me tongue on a bowl of pasta are you?"

"Nope," said Alex, "what I've got planned involves using your tongue for something far more interesting."

Gene literally choked as Alex's words struck his ears. He just couldn't get used to some of her comments and requests, the libido was still a revelation every time it spoke up. It was developing a life of its own. When he finally regained enough composure to speak he decided to take her up on that offer.

"You have a way with words, Lady B," he told her as she began to lead him to the bedroom.

"No thinking about Shaz or pubs or stars on the ceiling," Alex told him firmly, "it's time to forget all of that for a bit and concentrate on feeling very much alive."

Gene was very glad to leave those worrying thoughts behind and to concentrate on something far more stimulating. He knew those same worries would still be there in the morning but for now it was time to get on with his own life and the very best elements of it.

"Take it yer hangover's gone," he commented.

Alex smiled. Her eyes told him everything he needed to know.

"Believe me, you won't be hearing me say _'not tonight dear, I have a headache'_," she assured him and proceeded to spend the night helping to take his troubles away.


	13. Chapter 12: The Best Laid Easter Plans

_**A/N: I'm really sorry but there's likely to be no updates of either story for a couple of days. All 3 of my kids are sick and they're really feeling bad and fluey. I've spent the whole day holding a screaming baby who wouldn't let me put him down! I am completely shattered, I'm coming down with it too and can't see any let up for a couple of days. This was the last chapter I had written before the 'plague' stepped up a gear today - I'm hoping that everyone will start to feel better soon and I'll be able to write again in a couple of days x**_

**Chapter 12**

Time passed and Easter came and went. It was an Easter of mixed fortunes for all at Fenchurch East. Simon's one attempt at trying to do something to brighten up the season at the station failed miserably when the massive Easter Egg hunt he'd planned was ruined by a mister _Gene _Hunt who had located Simon's comprehensive list of egg locations the day before and went around hoovering them all up before anyone else had a chance to find them. His act was only discovered when Alex found him complaining of a stomach ache and trying to hide a lot of suspicious chocolaty stains on his shirt.

The men in white coats had almost been called when several members of CID reported seeing an actual, live Easter Bunny on the premises but it transpired to be Alex and her libido at work with a kinky rabbit costume and an Easter surprise for Gene.

"And a more fitting costume I have never known," Gene commented as they lay in bed on the night of Easter Monday. "Yer like a bloody rabbit at the moment, woman."

Alex glanced at him, a little offended.

"I don't hear you complaining, she told him."

"Not complaining in the slightest," Gene held up his hands. He looked at Alex seriously, "just wondering what's brought it on, that's all."

"Nothing," Alex said, a little surprised.

"Bolly, I know you."

Alex looked Gene in the eye. She knew that she was as transparent as an empty milk bottle when Gene looked at her. She gave a sigh and shook her head.

"I don't know, Gene," she said, "I just feel like I need to be close to you. More than ever."

"Because of yer body swap?" he asked.

Alex didn't even want to think about that.

"Partly," she said quietly, "and partly because," she closed her eyes for a moment, "I thought I had lost you. I thought I'd never be near you again. That scared me beyond belief."

Gene could understand that. He'd harboured the same fears. He didn't want to get mushy and talk about girly feeling stuff right then so he extended an arm around her and pulled her against his chest. It had the same effect.

"You, err," he tried to sound nonchalant as he changed the subject, "seen anything of WPC Granger lately?"

Alex peered up at him, a little surprised. Since their discussion about Shaz and whether it was alright to see her or not the subject hadn't come up. They'd both been skirting around it. It was still a bit of a daunting issue for both to consider.

"Briefly," she said, "She came by to see Kim a couple of days ago." She paused and cleared her throat. "They, erm, asked me if I wanted to join them for a few drinks on Wednesday, actually."

Gene seemed to hesitate.

"Did they now?" he asked.

"Yes."

Gene took in a deep breath.

"and what did you tell them?" he asked.

Alex looked at him a little guiltily.

"I said I'd think about it," she admitted.

Gene sighed so deeply there was a gravelly growl behind it.

"I thought, Lady B, we had agreed no boozy nights out."

"I know, Gene," Alex began, "but every time I see her smile it takes me right back."

"I'm worried about it taking you back to two thousand and _bollocks,"_ Gene told her.

"I'm not going anywhere," Alex sighed, "nothing's changed since Shaz arrived back on the scene."

"It bloody has," Gene mumbled, "Stringer's started wearing make-up and _smiling._ If that doesn't scare you, Bols, then you're a much stronger man than me."

"I'm not a man, Gene, the breasts should be a giveaway," Alex said matter-of-factly.

"Talking about yer best assets will not get you out of this one," Gene warned her.

Alex pouted.

"Usually works," she mumbled.

Gene shook his head slowly.

"I don't want you getting in too deep with Granger," he said, "you say you hate the goodbyes. You want to say goodbye to her all over again?"

Alex closed her eyes as her spirits sank. She thought about poor young Shaz and the terrible loss of life at such an age. She couldn't get the thought off her mind. She wished she'd never run into her again. It was too cruel, too damn cruel all round. After several moments of silence passed she asked quietly.

"Do you know how she goes, Gene?"

She felt Gene shaking his head.

"No, Bols. No idea."

"You must have _some_ idea."

"Me memory of that particular time is a little hazy," Gene pointed out.

Alex gave a sigh and stared at the tiles on the ceiling.

"Alright," she said, "how about paperwork? She had some paperwork, surely?"

"Anything I had is long gone," said Gene.

"What about the archives?"

"Alex," she knew he was serious when he used her actual name, "listen. There's nothing left. You know what this place is like. You blink and miss a year. The paperwork goes, Bolly. It disappears into the ether and the next thing you know you've got an office full o'people trying to stick their staplers in the mains again. Nothing's left. Nothing at all."

Alex felt deflated and defeated. She just wished there was a way to know.

"Bloody world," she mumbled.

"What do you want to know for anyway?" Gene asked, "not like you can change things."

"I didn't say I could," sighed Alex, "I just wanted to know. To know how long –" she trailed off. She didn't want to finish that sentence. Her head rose and fell as Gene took in a deep breath and exhaled.

"I know," he said. He shuffled out from under her and turned to face her. "Stop thinking about Shaz, Bolly. It's not doing you any good."

Alex looked away and nodded grimly. He was right.

"Sorry," she said.

"Can we change the subject?"

"To what?"

"Anything that doesn't involve Granger."

Alex closed her eyes and tried to think. For a long time she could only think about Shaz but finally a different subject came to mind. She looked at Gene. Her face developed a very different expression.

"Bet you can't guess where I'm hiding the last Easter egg," she said.

With raised eyebrows and a splutter of surprise Gene began a fast investigation and quickly came upon the object in question.

"Bloody hell, Bols," he felt himself sweating, "that's going to cause some serious questions when that melts!"

~xXx~

"_Uuuuuuggghhhhhhh,_" Simon groaned, "I've been Easter egged to death."

"I told you not to eat the third one," Kim mumbled, draped across a chair.

"I was worried Gene would break in and steal them if I didn't finish them off tonight," he tried to justify his chocolate binge.

Simon was wishing the Easter bank holidays would hurry up and finish. He wanted things to get back to normal, for Bask to reopen and to be back out there with the booze and the dancing. The more time he spent on his backside eating Easter eggs the more time there was to dwell on missing Robin and longing to see his family again. Not that he was going to go and steal photo albums from his family home for a second time, that was true enough – he'd learnt his lesson there – but he felt emptier than ever since his brush with them.

Now if it wasn't for the nights then he would have nothing left to keep him going. He'd head out every night, put in some more drinking practice, sing until he was hoarse and then crash out for a couple of hours' sleep when he got home. Now and then he'd go for the tranquilisers instead. He was hardly functioning. The chocolate binge was the first time he'd really eaten in days. He spent most of the time in a strange haze, unsure of what was going on around him. If he'd been _all there_ then he'd never have left his master list of Easter egg locations laying around for Gene to find, for a start.

Eddie had more or less integrated into the _Bask_ crowd. Still convinced that he was having some kind of vivid dream, he 'played along' in the day time and went on the hunt for booze and sex every night. He was finding it increasingly frustrating not to be able to conjure up the things he wanted. Weren't you supposed to be able to control lucid dreams? So far he'd failed to conjure up any of the sixteen attractive movie stars he'd tried to make appear. Or the large sack full of cash. Or the promising career as a male model. In fact, he was starting to get a little worried about his subconscious. Never the less, he enjoyed his boozy nights out with Simon, Lindsay and various members of CID and no one had even mentioned his stapler for the last 2 days.

"Where were _you_ earlier anyway?" Simon asked Kim.

Kim glanced at him a little guiltily and bit her lip.

"Nowhere," she said. 

"You were gone for ages," Simon pointed out.

"Just for a walk. That's all."

_A walk._ A walk that had led to meeting Shaz, exchanging easter Eggs and having what could only be described as a full-on snog in the park, behind the caretaker's shed. She hated the sneaking around. It wasn't _her_. But Simon was so disapproving that she had no option. She couldn't even try to explain to him, or to make him understand. He was such a stickler for being faithful that he'd never even listen to her explanation that the time apart from Sandra had lessened her feelings and that she felt like she'd met someone special.

And she _deserved_ it. She was sure of that. She'd been through too much not to deserve a little happiness and Shaz was the one bringing it to her. She couldn't fight her feelings any longer. It was hard enough trying to keep the action to a minimum. So far all they'd done was kiss. There had been a lot_ of_ it, but kissing was as far as things went. However, her resolve was getting weaker and she wasn't sure how much longer she could hold out without giving in to those dark eyes and red lips.

Kim had also been increasingly worried about Alex and Gene who both seemed to be behaving rather strangely. She'd never seen them so caught up in their own worries before. They didn't seem to be sharing them wither. It made her wonder whether something was going on that they needed to be aware of.

The one thing that seemed to have been more relaxed of late was the arsonist's schedule, who had decided to apparently take easter off.

"Maybe he was the Eater Bunny?" Simon suggested, "he'd have been far too busy to start any fires for a few days."

Whatever the reason it felt as though this could easily be the lull before the storm. Things were quiet, a little too quiet, and most definitely strange. What the following week had in store no one could predict, but something was hanging in the laden air. Something was lurking in the shadows. Until it emerged and made its presence known all they could do was hope that it would be fairly innocuous.

They had all taken too many knocks of late and they were starting to feel seasick from the world turning a little too fast.


	14. Chapter 13: The Key to Hell

**Chapter 13**

In the aftermath of Easter there was much left-over chocolate to be eaten and many jokes about Alex's rabbit costume for her to live down. She found herself the subject of graffiti that joined Simon's trouser tent on the walls of the toilets.

"I'm going to bloody publish a volume of this stuff," Gene grumbled one day, "graphic novel."

"It'll be banned under the obscene publications act," Alex told him, taking the artwork surprisingly in her stride which shocked Gene who'd thought she would be mortified. She'd been somewhat flattered by the proportions she'd been given in many of the pictures and also by the alleged flexibility that she'd been assumed to possess.

It was April 13th when Alex watched rather wistfully out the window as Shaz met Kim, exchanged a hug and set off for some latte-related rendezvous. She suspected this was planned for a moment when Simon wouldn't be watching with disapproving eyes. She was torn between feeling happy for Shaz and Kim that both had found someone with whom they felt so close and feeling jealous that she wasn't the one sharing a friendship with Shaz. Her limited access to Shaz reminded her of someone who'd been given visitation rights. Gene was the one who'd decreed what she was and wasn't able to do. She was still trying to work on him about that boozy night out. She was sure she could get around him somehow. She wasn't sure how but she felt it might involve spreadable chocolate.

Feeling a little guilty, she began to rummage through some of Gene's old files. She knew what gene had told her – any paperwork about Shaz would be long gone by now – but she couldn't let things lie. She wanted to know what happened to the girl. She _needed_ to. Shaz had been a very good friend and seeing her again had brought so many memories back. Thoughts of that awful, fateful day when the truth had been revealed and they had all learnt the nature of the world filled her mind. They made her shudder inside.

She quickly skimmed through every cabinet. Nothing doing. She sighed in frustration. She knew Gene wouldn't have been lying but she wondered if he'd simply forgotten or overlooked something. He was the first one to point out how hazy his memory was of that time.

It had taken a few days to even get the opportunity to look. She knew he was out for some time and this was the best opportunity she was going to get. She'd already checked the archives and found nothing. It felt like a dead end.

She left Gene's office, trying to look nonchalant, and brushed the feelings of guilt away. She hated sneaking around behind Gene's back – she even still felt guilty about her illicit latte – but she really needed to know. She needed to find out how Shaz died before she went crazy wondering.

She walked past Terry who muttered something to Bammo about rabbit ears and fluffy tails, glancing in her direction, which made her blush. She ignored their glanced and instead started to think about the day they all learned the truth again. Herself and Gene beside a scarecrow; Shaz, Ray and Chris back in the office. She tried to think back to the day. How did they find out? She had some vague memories but it all seemed so long ago.

Keats revealed the truth to them… how had he done that? How did Keats _usually_ reveal a terrible truth to someone?

"Of course," she whispered quite suddenly, "bloody tapes."

She bit her lip as the truth started to sink in. There was a tape… there had to be a tape. Keats's extensive video collection seemed to cover most things. Her heart started to race as she thought about it. Keats's old office in the basement… the one they'd left locked up for all those years… the one that –

She closed her eyes and swallowed back a wave of nausea. Her memory filled with those terrible first days after she had arrived back in 1995, when she had learned the truth about what her other self had done and how Keats had used her. She remembered hearing some vague things about Keats's office, trying to find something to use against him. She didn't know that much about it – she didn't ask either. There were some things she really didn't want to know. But she remembered Gene talking about Simon doing the dreadful research.

"The Key," she whispered. She closed her eyes for a moment and breathed in deeply. Could she even bear to do this? It seemed like a truly terrible thing to contemplate but it could be the only way. Eventually after she'd been thinking it over for several moments she realised that her sweating palms and racing heart had made the decision for her. If she wasn't prepared to do it then she wouldn't be feeling so scared. But her fear was great then she already knew a trip to the basement awaited her.

Quickly her feet took her down the corridor. She tried to wipe the fear from her face. Had to appear calm. Had to appear neutral. She found herself soon in the doorway of Simon's office and knocked a little unnecessarily seeing as the door was already open and he had already seen her there.

"Morning, Simon," she said, her smile wobbling a little.

"Morning," Simon smiled back a little tiredly. His eyes were bloodshot and Alex wondered if he'd had any sleep the night before.

"Mind if I come in?" Alex asked.

That seemed a little strange to Simon. When did anyone ever ask?"

"Sure," he said, standing up and indicating a chair. As Alex walked in and made it clear that she had no intention of sitting, preferring to pace up and down instead, he felt a little stupid for indicating the chair and decided to sit back down as fast as possible.

"So what can I do for you?" he asked.

Alex bit her lip. She looked at him a little guiltily.

"I was in need of some extra file storage," she said, "and the budget won't extend to a new cabinet. It occurred to me there are about four cabinets down in the basement that are just going to waste."

A cold fear struck Simon's chest.

"The basement?" he repeated. He gave an audible gulp.

_Uh oh,_ Alex thought, _that doesn't sound good._

"I think Gene said you had the key?" she asked casually.

Simon stared at her. He took a deep breath and tried to work out what to say. Her request had come a little out of the blue. He didn't like to think about the basement. Most of his time down there amongst the files had been spent blacking out. The time he hadn't been lying unconscious he'd spent discovering things that were best left forgotten.

"Alex," he began quietly, "I'm not going to give you the key. I'm not giving_ anyone _the key. You and Gene were right to leave it locked all that time. No one goes down there."

Alex hesitated. She wasn't sure how to respond to that.

"I… only wanted some furniture," she said.

"Believe me, the cabinets are probably cursed," Simon told her, you don't want those. I'm sure you can rake one up from somewhere. No one needs furniture enough for a trip down to the basement."

Alex continued to pace. This wasn't going to plan. She needed to find another avenue. She needed to find a way to get that key.

"Simon," she began, you… you went down there, didn't you?"

Simon stared at her. He didn't want to discuss the basement. He'd rather discuss corn plasters than the basement.

"Yes," he sight tightly, "why?"

Alex took a deep breath.

"It's been so long since I was down there," she began, walking a little slower, "I can't really remember what it was like."

"So you just remember the filing cabinets?" asked Simon. He saw her looking a little sheepish. "Look, what's this all about?"

Alex's heart was thumping. She wasn't sure how to get out of this mess now.

"I was wondering," her voice wobbled a little, "did you happen to see any tapes down there?"

"Tapes?"

"Videos."

Simon shook his head slowly.

"Alex, I can't remember," he sighed, "I was looking at paperwork. I don't really remember the rest. There was a telly and a really ancient video recorder so it's possible but I don't really know."

Alex nodded slowly. She didn't think she was going to get any more information from Simon so she decided to halt that line of questioning for now.

"Thanks, Simon," she said quietly with a thin smile. She left his office knowing that she'd confused the poor man beyond compare and probably caused him untold amounts of suspicious thoughts as well. But she knew she couldn't give up now. Questioning Simon wasn't the way to go, so that left her with only one option – taking matters into her own hands. She thought about it all the way back to her office. There had to be a way to get the key. Where would Simon keep the damn thing? Probably not at home, she thought. Not unless it had a Red Dwarf keyring attached to it.

"Hmm… that's it…" she whispered to herself, a dumb but ideal plan coming to mind.

If Simon didn't keep the keys at his flat then they were likely to be in his desk somewhere. So all she needed to do was to lure him away from his desk. What would he leave his office for? Aside from Robin, what did he love more than anything in the world?

It only took a few moments to type up the message. She couldn't resist giggling to herself as she did so. It was just such a silly plan that – even if she couldn't find the key – it certainly doubled up as a perfect late April fool. The very least that would happen was the opportunity to brag to Gene about getting one over on Simon.

She clicked 'print' and waited for the printer on her desk to whirr and spin the sheet of paper out into the open. She grasped it and scanned the information with a smile.

"_Perfect."_

Now all she needed was a willing volunteer or a victim, and luck was on her side. She noticed Eddie walking past and hurried to the door. She threw it open quickly and called after him down the corridor. He stopped and glanced around at her.

"Hmm?" he said, a little distractedly. He smelt like a bonfire.

"Eddie," Alex said, a little breathless from her hurry, "can you do me a very quick favour?"

"I'm about to take some witness statements," Eddie said, glancing at the clock, "there was another arson attack in the night. Just got back from the scene."

Alex wrinkled up her nose. That explained the smell.

"It won't take a moment," she said, "urgent case just arrived. Message for DCI Shoebury. Can you take this to him?"

She held out the piece of paper which Eddie took a little curiously.

"Sure," he said, "uh, why can't you -?"

"I have to rush off on another case," Alex soid with a falsely apologetic tone, "thanks for your help, Eddie."

She dashed out of the door and down to the opposite end of the corridor to stand back and watch from a safe distance.

A confused and slightly annoyed Eddie was left with a piece of paper in his hand. He sighed and shook his head.

"Doesn't look like I've got much choice in the matter," he mumbled.

He slouched along to the open door of Simon's office and knocked a little cautiously.

"Hi," Simon looked up.

Eddie entered slowly and handed him the sheet of paper.

"Message for you from DCI Drake," he said, "sounded urgent.

"Thanks, Eddie," Simon took the sheet. His eyes scanned the paper and grew wide in horror. It couldn't be… it just couldn't be… no one could be so _callous_… "shit!" With a gulp, he got to his feet and ran from the office with a cry of, "_the bastards!"_ and let his legs take him down the corridor and out of the building.

Eddie shook his head and sighed. This place was just getting weirder. e took one final glance at the sheet of paper laying on Simon's desk.

"_Urgent Memo:"_ it said, _"all available members of CID to report to the local Woolworths store where an entire delivery of Red Dwarf videos have been stolen."_

"Weirder and weirder," he sighed and set off back to his own case.

_**A/N: The flu is fading from the household but my updates will be unpredictable for a little while. The chapters of both stories I posted tonight were supposed to be my 'celebration-and-excitable-announcement' chapters that I was going to post last night. I'm 12 weeks pregnant today and after a rocky start with a lot of bleeding (I have a history of recurrent miscarriage so the last couple of months have been really scary) things seemed to be going well. I had my 12 week scan yesterday which went perfectly, until I started bleeding immediately afterwards and spent half the day in A&E. I honestly don't know what's going to happen from here so updates might be sporadic, or – if I am put on bed rest – I might go mad writing. At the moment I won't be able to write for a little while but hope to be back on form soon. Any positive thoughts you can throw this way are appreciated x**_


	15. Chapter 14: The Ultimate Video Nasty

**Chapter 14**

The metal felt as though it burned her skin as she clutched the key in the palm of her hand. Her heart was pounding. How could something so simple bring her so much fear? As she closed the drawer her eyes scanned the office but she knew Simon was long-gone on his wild-goose chase to Woolworths. She took a deep breath and gave herself one heartbeat to calm down, then quickly stood upright and left the room, sliding the key into her pocket on the way. From there, she knew there was only one place to go.

Her legs wobbled as she walked along the corridor, almost as though she'd bought a pair of heels that were a little too high. She felt almost as though she'd lost her ability to walk in a straight line. She had to pull herself together – this was hard enough without making it even more difficult for herself. Deep breaths – that's what she needed. _One, two…._

_OK, fuck it._ More than deep breaths were needed. A bottle of Gene's finest scotch just might do it, though.

The detour to his office only took a few moments. Before she knew it she was heading down a staircase that she has never wanted to descend again. With every step her heart seemed to speed up a little more and her hands trembled on the rail. She hadn't expected to feel quite this bad. Even she hadn't expected such a high level of fear to run through her bones

"Come on, it's only a basement," she mumbled to herself, trying to block out of her mind the meaning behind the room.

As she reached the bottom of the stairs and allowed her shaking hand to reach out toward the lock, key firmly in her grasp, she experienced flashes of memories; moments that Keats had tried to put in her mind. They shook her up and for a moment she wasn't sure if she could go through with her plan. A terrible, sick feeling welled up in her chest but she took a few deep breaths and managed to calm the drive telling her to run. She'd come this far. There was no way she could give up now.

Slowly she opened the door and switched on the lights. They hesitantly came on with a _ping_ and she blinked once or twice as she scanned the room. Much of it was just as she remembered, exactly as it had been the last time she had been in that room, although there were piles of papers from Simon's research and a few threads left from _the_ jumper over the back of a chair.

She carefully sat the bottle down on the desk and her eyes scanned the room. She knew what she was looking for and hoped it wouldn't take long to find it. As luck would have it, her eyes quickly settled upon the old television and terribly out of date video recorder.

"Betamax," she sighed, shaking her head. "Nice try, Sony. Never mind, you do better with Blu Ray."

Beside the Betamax recorder there were three tapes, each with a familiar name emblazoned on the side. She gulped, her nausea returning as her fingers graced the top tape on the pile.

_SHAZ._

This was it. She swallowed as she took the tape and stared at it. There was no turning back now. As soon as she watched the tape there would be no going back. She would know for sure what happened to her dear friend of old, and what would soon be happening to the young girl that Kim had drawn so close to. She was surprised by how much her hand shook as she aimed the tape towards the player.

"Oh, come on, Alex, it's only a bloody video," She told herself over and over. She closed her eyes and took the tape away again. Maybe she wasn't ready? _More deep breaths,_ that's what she needed. She had no choice but to go through with this. It was the only way to know. She gathered her courage and tried again, checking this time whether the machine was still plugged in. It was, but it wasn't switched on at the mains so she flicked the switch and wondered momentarily if it would even work. Surely now… surely all those years… all those layers of dust….

"_Damnit,"_ she cursed. The machine was still fully functioning.

She had no choice now. She was hoping for some fault circuitry to make the decision for her. No such luck. No way out of it now. In went the tape.

And out went all sense of peace and hope.

The tears welled in her eyes before she even saw Shaz. Just knowing what was about to come on the screen sent her reeling. Then, there she was, the young brunette in the uniform, so familiar to her. There was the man, the guy beside the car, screwdriver in hand. She could hardly bring herself to watch but at the same time couldn't tear her eyes away. It felt a bit like being a kid again, watching one of those horror movies Evan didn't know she'd discovered hidden away behind the stereo. Watching them when he was out and she was supposed to be doing homework. Peering through her fingers at the violence and the gore.

Except that this was the grimmest video nasty of all. It was like one of those _'Don't'_ movies; like _Don't Go In The House_ or _Don't Go To The Woods._ In this case it was _Don't Watch A Tape Of One Of Your Best Friends Getting Brutally Murdered._

Her heart pounded as she watched Shaz running towards him, the man about to take her life. Her throat prepared for a scream before she even knew she was going to do one. The moment she heard that sound, that sick sound of metal thrust through flesh accompanied by the desperate gasps of someone whose life was ebbing away. The sounds of Oasis droning out their hit played from a nearby window. Never before had such a strong sense of nausea washed over her as she watched Shaz slump to the ground, her life slipping away and her soul travelling on, on to a familiar world.

"_No!"_ she found herself on her feet once more, bile bubbling in her chest and words flying from her mouth in horror and despair, "Not Shaz! That's too cruel! _Too fucking cruel!"_

Her feet began to move, faster and faster towards the door then up the staircase, taking the stairs two at a time. She didn't know where she was going, didn't know what the hell she was doing, she just needed to get away – as far away from the video as she possibly could.

Her legs took her screaming through the corridors, further and further from the basement. She had a vague idea about getting to her office where she would be safe to hide away and cry until she had calmed down some but suddenly she found herself crashing into a wall. The wall smelt of scotch and was wearing a tie. It took a few moments for her to realise it was Gene.

"Flamin' heck woman, I'd say _'where's the fire'_ but that's a bit close to 'ome at the moment!"

"Gene!" Alex's eyes turned upwards in relief.

As soon as he saw the look in her eyes he knew something was seriously wrong. Alex didn't panic this way without a good reason.

"What's happened?" he demanded.

Alex could only whisper one word.

"_Shaz."_

Gene hesitated. This wasn't a subject he wanted to discuss much more. He'd had a bad feeling about this from the word go.

"My office," he said quietly, turning around and walking quickly towards it. Alex swallowed as she followed him. Was she going to get in trouble? She had a horrible feeling that she might. Number of things she wasn't supposed to do: _Going to the basement, watching the video, finding out what happened to Shaz…_ yup, that probably constituted trouble. But if she was honest she was too damn upset to care. So Gene would rant and rave for a few minutes – it wouldn't take away the horror she felt every time she replayed that scene in her mind.

Shaz had lost her life in the most horrifying way, and now it was going to happen again. There was nothing she could do to stop it, short of setting a blanket ban on screwdriver ownership and the playing of Wonderwall.

As she followed Gene into his office she caught sight of Kim and Shaz saying goodbye in the car park and her heart sank again. Shaz's death was going to cause even more waves of sadness the second time around. She began to wish she'd never gone for that illicit latte that fateful afternoon.


	16. Chapter 15: The Woolworths Attack

_**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who is still reading, and for all your reviews and your kind thoughts too. At the moment it's a case of hoping and praying things are resolving over the next few weeks and trying to stay positive. I am really sorry that I haven't been able to respond to reviews in the last few weeks, as well as the issues that have been going on pregnancy-wise I am having a severe relapse of CFS/ME and my time and energy online is extremely limited, but I wanted to say that I really appreciate every one and I am glad you're still following the story (and Dead Man Walking too.) I know I'm not up to 'Whispering' standard but, hey, two updates in 2 days – that's better than nothing! Right, on with the next chapter, and happy Halloween all! Watch out for trick or treaters in Ridgeley costumes! -x-**_

**~xXx~**

**Chapter 15**

Alex sat in the chair feeling like a naughty schoolgirl about to get a bollocking for hiding behind the bike sheds during PE. She watched Gene scrambling around in his filing cabinet and looking flustered for a few minutes before scratching his head and declaring,

"Bollocks, someone's 'ad off with me scotch!"

Alex felt another pang of guilt creeping up on her.

"Erm, I might know where you can find that," she said quietly.

Gene glanced at her.

"Oh yeah?" he asked.

Alex nodded.

"In the basement," she said quietly.

Gene froze, his eyes fixed upon her. He swallowed and stared, wondering whether he'd misheard but Alex's expression confirmed what his ears had received.

"And what," he began, "would my scotch be doing twenty feet under the ground?"

Alex felt herself shaking again.

"I took it down there," she whispered, "when I went to watch," her eyes closed and her voice almost gave out, "_a tape."_

"A tape," Gene repeated. He watched her hanging her head. "And what kind of tape would this be? Since you ventured into the devil's lair it's got to be either a porno or a snuff film. Which one was it?"

Alex felt her heart pounding.

"It was Shaz," she whispered.

Gene stared at her.

"Unless Jimbo caught her at it with Chris in the stationery cupboard I think I can guess what you've seen," he said, his voice a little quieter. He sat down and reached into his pocket from which he pulled his flask. He handed it to her across the desk. "Good thing I've got this for emergencies." He saw her tear-filled eyes starting to spill over. "This looks like a bloody emergency to me."

Alex took the flask gratefully but couldn't bring herself to meet Gene's gaze.

"Thanks," she whispered, before taking a long swig.

"Steady on, woman, by the sounds of it I'll be needing some of that in a minute," Gene warned. He watched her take the flask away from her lips with a little gasp, then wiping the lipstick from the neck before handing it back. "So," he almost hated to ask but his own curiosity was growing, "what was it? Murderer? Mass murderer Freak accident in a sausage factory?"

Alex let the alcohol numb her throat for a few moments before she whispered,

"Car thief. He had a screwdriver."

A horrible sinking feeling fell over Gene as Alex's words sank in. He remembered a case, a night, a dreadful incident where Shaz had almost lost her life. She'd run to him for comfort like a lost little girl, haunted by the implement that had taken her life from her the first time around, like fate coming full circle, exorcizing her demons. He took a long drink from his flask before setting it down and staring at the desk.

"A screwdriver," he repeated quietly.

Alex nodded.

"She tried to stop him from stealing the car," she whispered, "he just plunged it right into her. No hesitation. She didn't stand a chance."

Gene was surprised to find himself feeling quite so ghastly. He was used to the death. He knew that everyone who found their way to him had lost their life or suffered a horrific incident somehow, but somehow this was sneaking past his defences.

"How old did she look?" he asked, shocked by the way his voice trembled.

"Gene, she looked no different to the girl I just saw saying goodbye to Kim in the car park," she whispered, "It might as well happen tonight. It could be any time now."

Gene finally looked back at Alex and found she was finally meeting his stare. He nodded slowly.

"So was it worth knowing?" he asked, "worth finding out?"

"Of course it bloody wasn't!" cried Alex, "would I be in this state if it was?" She gave a deep sigh and put her hand to her head. She hadn't meant to snap but she knew she'd been stupid. She felt like a silly little girl who never listened. But then again, it wouldn't be the first time. She shook her head. "It was a stupid thing to do, Gene, I know that. You don't have to rub it in.

"Not trying to," Gene told her. He watched her hang her head as her mind played the tape to her over and over. "Bolly, listen. I know yer only going to lop me balls off for saying this again but maybe you should think about cutting yer ties with Granger."

Alex looked at him a little crossly.

"Gene, we've been through all this –"

"I know, but this isn't the same thing," Gene tried to explain, "this is none of yer metaphysical bollocks, this is about stopping you from driving yerself crazy. Bols, put some distance between you. The more you see her, the more attached you get."

"She's not a bloody puppy," Alex mumbled, trying to cover up for the fact that she knew what Gene meant, and that he was right.

"You keep seeing her, it'll be even harder when you lose her again," Gene carried on, "keep some perspective. Keep yer distance. Try to put it out yer mind."

Alex breathed in and out slowly. She stayed silent for several moments before finally she asked,

"What about Kim?"

"What do you mean?"

"We have to tell her," Alex said, "warn her."

Gene shook his head.

"Not an option, Bols, you know that."

"But Gene –"

"But nothing, you know the rules here – keep your mouth shut and yer pretty-but-cotton-filled head away from thinking about this. There's nothing we can do about it – we can't stop what's going to happen and we can't tell Stringer to invest in a black veil at the ready."

"Gene!"

"You tell Kim, then what? She spills the news to Shaz? My deepest condolences for yer imminent passing? And then what? Shaz will think Stringer's two piercings short of a girder. Or worse. We don't know what would happen to this world. Wasn't so long ago this place was spinning off its axis, Bols, you remember how strange everything was at Christmas. Not risking that again."

Alex stared at him. She wished she had an argument but she knew he was right. She finally backed down and gave a slow nod.

"Alright," she whispered.

Gene took a sip of scotch and screwed the cap back on his flask.

"Not going to tell you what to do, Bols. Wouldn't dare," he shuddered as he thought about what the reaction would be if he did, "but tread carefully. Don't want to see you hurt and don't want to see this world falling apart like a crap lego set."

Alex breathed in deeply and nodded again.

"Alright," she said quietly. She hadn't decided yet what she was going to do but she would think very carefully before making a decision.

Gene offered the the flask again.

"Need some more of this?" her asked.

Alex stared at it for a moment and reached to take it, then changed her mind.

"No," she said quietly, "thank you. I think I need a clear head." She slowly got to her feet and gave Gene a weary smile. "Lots of thinking to do." She gave a sigh. "Thanks, Gene," she said quietly.

Gene watched her turn and leave with a sad shake of his head. Shaz's reappearance had sent everyone and everything into a spin, and while his mouth was spouting all the common sense in the world there was a part of him that wanted to see that young copper who they'd known so long ago too and get to know her all over again. Every now and then his world still threw him a curveball – and this one was in danger of knocking him senseless.

~xXx~

Alex's head was in a spin and she knew she'd not had enough scotch to blame it on the alcohol. Heart and head were not in agreement. She could see the sense in Gene's words but her heart was crying for Shaz and the friendship she'd only just started to get back again. She thought about the smiles on the faces of Shaz and Kim as they said goodbye in the car park a few moments earlier. The first time Alex had ever seen Kim happy and she was going to have that taken away from her in a most dramatic style.

"It's not fair," she whispered, shaking her head, "none of this is fair."

Just as she reached the doorway of her office there were a set of thundering footsteps heading towards her. She looked around to see Simon with the biggest scowl she'd ever seem, a video sales display smashed over his head and several Woolworths bags about his person that had been inserted into various orifices by angry checkout assistants.

"_Oi!"_ he snapped, "DCI Prankalot! I've got a bone to pick with you!"

Alex bit her lip but despite all she'd seen and been through that day a little giggle couldn't help but escape.

"Hard day?" she asked as innocently as she could.

"Why don't you ask the seven _Woolworths_ employees in custody for assaulting a detective chief inspector?" Simon snapped and marched away to remove carrier bags from uncomfortable places.

Alex let a louder giggle escape as Simon disappeared around the corner. Perhaps the day had _one_ bright spot after all.


	17. Chapter 16: The Red Lips of Temptation

_**A/N: Actually posting chapters of both stories today – if you're reading both read this one before you read Dead Man Walking because there's a slight crossover between the chapters and it will make more sense of read this way round! It might be a few days before I am able to write again because we've got a house full of sickies again but normal service will be resumed soon -x-**_

**Chapter 16**

"…And by the time I managed to get the last of the Pick 'n' Mix scoops out of my backside they'd brought the carrier bags over and started attacking me with those instead!"

Kim had been trying not to laugh at Simon's misfortune for the past half an hour. His tales of _Woolworths_ torture had clearly caused him a great deal of pain, both physically and emotionally, but Kim had failed to keep a straight face from the moment he'd started.

"How did you end up at the mercy of the angry shop assistants anyway?" she asked as she applied something sparkly to her eyelids.

"It was bloody Alex!" he cried, "I don't know what's gotten into her! Sending me false memos about shipments of videos getting nicked. Got me storming down there, all fired up." He removed one last sweet that had been stuck in his ear from the second round of Pick 'n' Mix attacks and threw it across the room where it missed the bin by about three inches. "_Damn."_

"Never mind," Kim put down her make-up and started running gel through her hair instead, "I'm sure a night on the karaoke will fix you right up. What's it going to be? _Sweets for my Sweet? Papa's Got A Brand New Bag?"_

Simon scowled and climbed off of the arm of the couch.

"Not going to karaoke," he mumbled, "Lindsay and Eddie have composed a special song about my emergency Pick 'n' Mix removal techniques and I think I will give it a miss for the night." He looked at Kim and she made the strange gesture of rummaging around down her top to plump up her cleavage. When had she _ever _done that? He frowned, wondering what had happened to the ladette Kim that he'd known.

"So what are you doing tonight if you're not going to _Bask?"_ she asked.

"Don't know really," Simon sighed. He thought about spending a nice evening in with his tranquilisers and jumper. "maybe I could come out with you?"

Kim glanced around. There was a strange expression on her face. It looked almost guilty. She bit her lip and began awkwardly,

"Erm, maybe not, hey?"

Simon frowned.

"Why not?"

Kim felt her heart starting to beat harder and faster. There was a good reason why she didn't want the Infidelity Police there. She hated keeping her increasing closeness to Shaz a secret from him but she knew that she'd only be opening herself up to more lectures if she let him tag along. She was finding Shaz harder and harder to resist as the days went by. Ever since their first kiss there had been many, _many _encores but so far that was as far as things had gone.

It hurt Kim to always make excuses; the pathetic reasons she gave for not going back to Shaz's or taking her back to Simon's. She didn't want to turn her down. She wanted to give in to the urges that seemed to consume her every time she saw that bright, cheeky smile and those beautiful features edging towards her. Torn between her own happiness and trying to do the right thing, she was finding it ever harder to resist, but for now if kisses were all she had then she at least wanted to enjoy them with nobody tutting over her shoulder. She could do without a chaperone.

"I think maybe you should spend the evening at home," Kim said awkwardly, "and take a bath. You stink of liquorice ."

Simon wrinkled up his nose as he realised she was right. His Woolworths incident hadn't exactly been the highlight of his year so far.

"Maybe you're right," he sighed, "a bath and a pizza."

Kim silently breathed a sigh of relief, her evening plans safe once more.

"Sounds like a good idea," she said, "maybe you'll even be able to pick the rest of the price tags out of your hair."

Simon reached up to a spot on the side of his head where he'd been brutally attacked by a price gun and flinched.

"Good thinking," he said as he turned to head to the bathroom, "have a good night, Kim."

A flicker of a naughty smile crossed Kim's face.

"Oh, I will," she said, "I'm pretty sure of that."

~xXx~

Alex poured the wine and leaned back on the couch, staring into space. Her mind had been on little else but Shaz and the tape all day. She went over and over it. The road looked a little familiar but she couldn't place it. If she could then maybe she could warn shaz to stay away from there. And what about the man? Was he a known thief? Maybe if she could find out who he was she could pull him in before he had a chance to plunge his screwdriver through Shaz's guts.

She exhaled and shook her head slowly. She'd tried to change the past before and it hadn't worked. She thought about her parents and the lengths she went to to save them – all of which had failed. If she couldn't even save her own mother and father what chance did she have to save Shaz?

"Here," Gene's voice broke through her thoughts and a hand wafted in front of her clutching a bag full of nice aromas.

"Mmm…. Chinese?" she asked. She sat up a little as Gene plonked the bag on the table before her, "What's this in honour of? I thought we were just having some leftovers."

"Consider it a gesture of my appreciation for yer Shoebury-related prank," Gene told her, "talk of the station. Proud to call you me missus."

Alex raised an eyebrow. This was praise indeed.

"Oh?" she asked with interest.

"First thing to overtake the trouser tent in the graffiti stakes," Gene told her, "someone's painted a whole bloody shop front over the urinals in the gent's." He set off to collects some plates from the kitchen while Alex began to open the cartons on the table.

"Well that's… good to know," she said, blushing a little. It seemed her memo had been a bigger hit than she'd anticipated. The smell of the food as she removed each lid set her stomach rumbling. She'd had no idea she was so hungry until she smelt the goodies. The video had completely wiped out her appetite for most of the day. She moved over to let Gene take his place beside her and took a plate and some cutlery from him. "Thanks, Gene."

Gene began to load his plate with food, glancing at her sideways as he did so. Although she seemed brighter than she had that morning there was still something missing in her expression. Some of her sparkle had gone and in its place was a deep sadness caused by the knowledge that something dark was about to happen. He sighed.

"How you feeling?" he asked.

"I'm fine," Alex said quietly.

"You're not," Gene observed.

Alex sighed as she loaded rice onto her plate.

"Does it matter what I say?" she asked quietly, "of course I'm not 'alright' but there's nothing I can do about it. I just have to get on with it. Try to forget it."

Gene nodded slowly. He licked some sauce from his hand and leaved back, plate on his lap and fork hovering over a pile of noodles.

"Thought any more about what you're going to do?" he asked.

"I thought I'd eat the sweet and sour pork first," Alex mumbled, knowing full well that Gene was glaring at her.

"You know what I mean," he admonished.

Alex sighed. Of course she knew what he meant, she just didn't want to face it.

"Not yet Gene," she said quietly, "I need more time to get my head around what I saw."

Gene nodded.

"Fair enough," he said.

Alex tried to focus on the food and to put out of her head the image of the young copper in uniform losing her life in the most cruel and wasteful way, but Shaz was never far from her mind. She couldn't stop thinking about her fun, wild night out with Shaz and Kim and the day she first bumped into Shaz, walking back to the station. If she was only going to lose her friendship again then what was the point? Things didn't happen without a good reason in this world. She was fairly sure of that. There just had to be a reason behind it but she couldn't work out what that reason was.

She tried to let her mind rest a while as she concentrated on the flavours before her but thoughts of Shaz were hard to banish from her head. Alex wasn't the kind to give up on something important, and there was little more important than friendship. If there was a way to save Shaz then she would find it. She was sure of that.

~xXx~

Kim's legs almost gave way beneath her as she saw Shaz standing outside of the club, a twinkle in her eye. There was something different about her that night; a hunger. A need. Something that had been building for a while but seemed to have reached its peak. Kim found herself drawn in by her red-tinted smile and the dark eyes that bore into her soul. Her heart almost floated clean out of her chest and her stomach flip-flopped as she found those red lips pressing gently to hers.

"You're early," she breathed as soon as she regained the ability to speak. Her heart was fluttering like a butterfly in her chest as Shaz's smile warmed every inch of her being.

"So are you," Shaz pointed out, "been looking forward to this all day."

Kim couldn't fight the smile that crept onto her face.

"Me too," she whispered.

She found herself swept along as Shaz linked her arm through Kim's and led her to the queue for the club.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_ Kim aksed herself, _this isn't like me. When have I ever reacted like this?_

She couldn't think of a time that she'd ever felt like this about Sandra, or any of her previous girlfriends. Was it something about the element of secrecy? The illicit affair that she needed to keep from Simon? The fact that she was trying so hard not to take things any further and to try to do the right thing? Was trying to deny herself the reason why Shaz made her feel this way? Or was it simply that she'd never met anyone like Shaz before?

As they entered the club, the night and the music swept her away. She felt as though she was slowly letting go of so much; her worries, her inhibitions, the strain and sadness of being in a strange world. Being with Shaz made it all melt away. As she relaxed so the drink flowed, which helped to loosen her up even more. The more she drank, the closer she danced with Shaz. The closer they danced, the more time their lips spent pressing together. Soon it was more than just their lips that were pressing against one another; every inch of their bodies entwining, drawing closer, feeling the heat one another radiated as their need and their fire grew hotter and hungrier.

It was the second that the heady, enchanting sound of _Moments in Love_ by Art of Noise began to play that Kim found herself completely lost within Shaz's touch. She misplaced every morsel of willpower, every smidgen of self-control. Her heart yearned for affection and her body ached for intimacy. She needed to touch and be touched. She needed love and tenderness. She needed to feel another heart beating against her own.

Her stomach filled with butterflies and her head spun from the warm, heavenly scent of Shaz's perfume while the beautiful eyes she'd been finding ever harder to resist fixed upon her and stole her heart. She swallowed, her mouth dry and her palms sweating. She heard herself give a gentle gasp that she couldn't stop escaping from her lips and the next thing she knew she had followed it up with a whisper, a murmur driven deep into Shaz's ear by hot breath and deep need.

"_Come home with me."_

The words had been on the edge of her tongue for days. She'd bitten them back so many times but now they had escaped. She knew there was no going back now. And anyway, she didn't want to. She was human, she had the same needs as anyone else. Being a whole lifetime apart from her girlfriend didn't mean that she stopped needing to be touched. It didn't mean she became a robot, devoid of feeling.

The hand that gripped hers, the deep, dark eyes and the smudged red lips all led her away from the club and into the night of warmth and need that they'd both known was around the corner;. She'd done well to fight it for so long, but now it was time to put her own feelings first. Hers and Shaz's, because the woman who'd made her heart race was someone she felt sure she'd been destined to meet.

And who was she to argue with fate?


	18. Chapter 17: The Kim WIth Two Heads

**A/N: Ahh, OK, so I ended up writing after all yesterday! Hoping to update again over the weekend -x-**

**Chapter 17**

It was after his eighth nightmare about giant Woolworths bags trying to smother him that Simon decided to call a halt to trying to sleep. He rubbed his eyes and sighed. _So much for bloody tranquilisers,_ he thought. Nothing tranquil about a night like that. He slowly swung his legs out of bed and shed his stripy blue pyjama bottoms. As he grabbed a clean shirt he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror and was horrified to see the outlines of his ribs protruding from his chest. He stared at himself, the man in the mirror barely recognisable. He'd always been on the skinny side but this was something else. He knew he hadn't been eating properly for a while, but it was just a skipped meal here and there, wasn't it? He knew he hadn't had breakfast the day before, he'd just run out of time. And he would have had lunch, but he was busy having Pick & Mix scoops jammed in every orifice and that kind of spoilt his appetite. And then he was going to order a pizza that previous night but he'd taken the tranquilisers after his bath and just gone to sleep. That wasn't his fault, was it?

He didn't like what he saw in the mirror; the protruding ribs and the bony arms, the dark circles around his eyes or, he noted with some distaste, the slight appearance of a spare tyre around his middle where all the empty calories from the beer at night were collecting. His hair was starting to grow out again too, but he couldn't be bothered to deal with that. Messy waves were starting to appear, while his chin was covered in stubble. Had he forgotten to shave the day before as well? What was happening to him? He thought about the way he used to be, always so smartly dressed, immaculately turned out, always a good meal on the table from Robin at night, always fresh and well rested in the morning.

He shook his head and turned away. He was disgusted with himself, with his own appearance, but even seeing himself in his full crumbling glory wasn't enough to shock him into doing something about it. He pulled on his shirt and buttoned it up quickly, then dressed in his pants and trousers before shuffling wearily out of the bedroom.

"Morning Kim," he mumbled, glancing at the lump under the duvet on the couch before doing a double take and realising that Kim had apparently doubled in size and had two heads. "What the _fuck…?"_

The declaration jolted Kim out of a deep, peaceful and dreamy sleep. One yell from Simon was all that it took to take her from the heady heights of joy and ecstasy to the terrible dread that she was about to be in for some _very_ dark times indeed.

"Simon," she gasped as she scrambled upright, pulling the duvet around her bare shoulders. Her movement woke Shaz whose hair fell around her shoulders as she moaned and muttered, opening her eyes and peering first at Kim and then, in shock, at the angry man who was glaring at them.

"What the _hell_, Kim?" Simon cried.

Kim swallowed.

"Simon, what time is…" she began but Simon cut her off.

"You _know_ I don't know what the time is!" he cried.

Kim glanced at the clock. It was only half past 6. She'd expected Simon to be asleep for another hour yet. In fact, she had her alarm clock set for seven so that she could evacuate Shaz from the premises before Simon even woke up. She'd seen the tranquilisers on the table when they arrived home and had assumed he'd be knocked out until morning. It usually took a fourteen gun salute to wake Simon up after taking a few of those pills, but then again Kim hadn't expected the Woolworths Nightmares From Hell to wake him up.

"I'm sorry…" she began quickly, glancing from Simon to Shaz and finally saying, "Err…. Simon…. This is Shaz, we met a few weeks ago at the club. Shaz, this is Simon, my flatmate."

Simon ignored Shaz's nervous offer of a hand to shake. He glared at Kim.

"Can I have a word?"

Kim felt flustered, her cheeks glowing red.

"In… in a minute," she said.

"No, _now,"_ said Simon, standing by the entrance to the kitchen and tapping his foot.

Kim cleared her throat.

"Erm," she began, "I'll, uh, have to get dressed first."

Somehow Simon hadn't expected Kim to be naked. Even though it was clear what she had been up to he somehow expected her to be fully dressed under the covers. He really was more of a prude than he wanted to admit to.

"Oh, bloody hell," he mumbled as he spotted for the first time the clothes strewn around the room. He closed his eyes, turned on his heels and shook his head as he stomped to the kitchen. "I'll be waiting," he said crossly as a nervous Kim glanced at Shaz apologetically. She felt her heart sinking. How had she gone from the perfection of the night before to being caught with her pants down? She knew the outcome wasn't going to be good.

"Oh no, Kim," Shaz began quietly, "I didn't mean to get you in trouble…. I mean, we could have gone back to mine if I'd known…"

Kim sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. In truth, that wouldn't have made a lot of difference. If Simon had awoken to find Kim hadn't been home she'd have received just as much of a bollocking, she was sure.

"It's not your fault, Shaz," she said quietly, "Simon's a bit overprotective of me. He takes the surrogate big brother thing a bit too far." _And,_ she added silently, _he's obsessed with infidelity. But you don't know about my girlfriend back home…. And I don't really want to talk about that._

She climbed from the couch and began to round up the random clothes, distributing Shaz's to her along the way.

"I hope everything will be OK?" Shaz said nervously.

Kim gave her a nervous smile.

"Me too," she whispered. She sank back onto the couch beside her and looked her in the eye. "But either way, I wouldn't change last night for the world."

The smudged, red-lipped smile and the kiss that followed just served to back up Kim's conviction. It made her heart flutter all over again. She knew there was going to be a fall out from this but she would just have to face it. For the first time since she found herself in 1995 Kim felt whole and happy. That was a feeling she wouldn't trade for anything.

"Listen, I'd better go," Shaz dressed with haste, keeping one eye on the kitchen as she did so, "are you going to be alright?"

Kim nodded slowly.

"I'll call you later," she whispered.

Shaz's hand gently pulled her face in for a soft kiss before that cheeky smile warmed her heart one more time and a half-dressed Shaz-whirlwind left the flat. With her lips still tingling, Kim knew that she had to face the music - and this time the 'music' wasn't going to be _Moments in Love_.

~xXx~

The nightmares that ran through Alex's head tortured her wildly as she turned and thrashed in the bed, whimpering and wailing until finally a strong pair of hands held her and shook her awake.

"_Bolly…. Bols?"_

Gene's voice cut through her terrifying night-time thoughts and pulled her back to reality. Her eyes opened wide and her body rose from her pillow.

"_Shit,"_ she breathed as she clasped her hands over her chest. She felt her heart thumping before them, racing as the fear of her dreams ran through her veins. She tried to take a few deep breaths but they were staggered with tears that were threatening to form.

"Bloody hell, Bolly, what were you dreaming about?" Gene cried, alarmed by her pallor and her terrified eyes_, "Wham_ reforming?"

Alex panted a little then finally felt her breathing starting to return to normal. She looked at Gene, eternally glad that she wasn't waking up alone.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, "it was Molly."

Gene froze.

"Molly again?" he asked a little stiffly. It wasn't the first nightmare she'd had about her daughter in the last couple of weeks and the fact that Alex's dreams had been returning to matters of her old life disturbed him. He'd never quite managed to let go of the worry that he could lose her at any moment to her other body, laying in hospital in 2011. Although she had made her decision to stay with Gene the pull from her own flesh and blood was something that Gene still feared.

"I'm sorry," Alex whispered. She looked down and tried to gather her composure.

"What was it this time?" Gene asked.

Alex shook her head slowly.

"I couldn't make sense of it," she whispered, "she was all tied up, and there was a woman screaming nearby…. A couple of men, too. It was…" she shook her head slowly. "There were ropes and…"

Gene stared at her anxious face as she relayed the dream in staggered sentences, unable to bring herself to give a full explanation.

"It's just a dream, Bols," he said.

Alex tried to believe that.

"I know," she whispered quietly.

Gene sat up beside her and said,

"Thought it might have been about Shaz for a minute."

Alex gave a deep sigh. _She'd_ thought she might have had a bad dream about that too.

"Not yet," she said, "I'm sure I will have a nightmare about screwdrivers in good time."

Gene felt strangely anxious as he watched her sitting there, staring absently at the wall. Ever since she'd seen the video she had been different. Even her seemingly unbeatable libido of late seemed to have met its match on the form of the video. Gene started to wonder exactly what the video showed and for a moment even thought about watching it himself but he didn't have the stomach for it. He'd spent more than enough time down in that room while the wrong Alex was inhabiting his Bolly's body and he wasn't ready to go back – especially not to watch a young and innocent copper getting a stab wound to the stomach.

Eventually he sighed and started to get dressed.

"Got an early start this morning," he said, "getting some stick about our local Firestarter. So far no leads and no arrests. Public are getting twitchy and can't say I blame them."

"Maybe I can spare a few hours later on," Alex offered, "put together a psychological profile perhaps? Things are a bit quiet at the moment."

"Always happy to have you on board," Gene told her, "especially if you leave some of your diagrams on the whiteboard afterwards."

Alex blushed as she recalled her efforts at helping during a kidnapping case a few weeks earlier. She had started by making notes on the kidnapper's psychological state and ended up drawing a fairly explicit diagram of what she was planning to do with Gene in the stationery cupboard later that day. The diagrams had seemed like a good idea at the time but there were three flaws in her plan; the first being that in their excitement to fulfil the plan they'd forgotten to clean the diagrams off before Terry and Poirot arrived in the office, the second being that this happened to be on a day when Simon was in dire need of a pen and their act was sprung, and the third flaw was only realised when it turned out she'd accidentally used a permanent marker on the board.

"I might leave the diagrams alone this time," she reddened.

"Bugger," Gene sighed in disappointment. He hoped that the Shaz tape had only caused a temporary set-back and not the permanent reversal of Alex's wild libido. That would be greatly missed.

~xXx~

"Well?"

That one word cut through Kim like a knife. An incredible sense of guilt came over her as she saw Simon's scowling eyes. He looked like a father who'd been waiting home for his teenage daughter all night.

"Simon, look," she began but Simon couldn't hold his anger in.

"You just had to, didn't you Kim?" he cried, "You couldn't hold back. Got no willpower at all, have you?"

"Now that's not fair!" cried Kim, "I've been trying to fight it. I've knocked her back so many times because of you and your bloody pompous attitudes!"

"Being faithful isn't a pompous attitude!" Simon told her.

"You turn it into one," Kim folded her arms.

"This is my flat, Kim," Simon told her, "no matter what my views on cheating, you shouldn't ask someone back here without asking me first at least!"

Kim hesitated.

"Yeah. OK. You've got me on that," she said quietly, "that _was_ wrong. Sorry." She bit her lip. "But… but even if I did, I'd be getting the same lecture, wouldn't I?"

"You've got a girlfriend waiting for you out there, Kim!" cried Simon, "how do you think she'd going to feel if you wake from your coma and call her Shaz or something?"

"Simon, I've been in this place almost a year, and I'm lonely," Kim told him seriously, "that's a long time to be apart from someone. I don't… it's not that I don't feel anything for Sandra any more but… but a lot of water had passed under the bridge and I don't know if…"

"If what?" Simon prompted.

Kim closed her eyes for a second.

"I don't know what's going to happen when I wake up, Simon. I don't know _when_ I'm going to wake up. I could be here another week or I could be here for years. Sometimes I just…." She let out her breath and shook her head. "I just want to feel like someone cares. I just need to be touched."

"Are you forgetting all the months that _Keats_ was touching you?" Simon asked a little spitefully and Kim's face darkened instantly.

"That's unfair," she hissed, "that was different and you _know_ it. You really want me to remind you about the hospital roof?"

Simon froze and swallowed, then slowly hung his head. No, he didn't want her to remind him of that. He knew what he'd said was completely uncalled for and she hadn't deserved that. But it didn't excuse what she'd done.

"Even forgetting Keats," he said, "you admitted you'd been kissing other women since you arrived here."

"I was barely sober at that time!" Kim protested, "I was trying to be ladette of the Year Nineteen Ninety Five! I had lager running through my veins where my blood was supposed to be!"

"That's no excuse for being a –" Simon began, then stopped talking abruptly. He was aware of Kim's angry glare upon him.

"A what?" she challenged.

Simon hesitated.

"Nothing.

"No, go on," she challenged, "I want to hear the end of that sentence. What am I being?" she watched as Simon stayed silent. "A slut? A slapper?" Simon didn't speak but the expression on his face told her what she needed to know. "Well thank you," she spat angrily, "now I know what you really think of me."

"Kim, it's not –" Simon began but Kim took two steps backward and shook her head.

"For your information," she hissed, "I've been making myself miserable trying not to give in, just because of _your_ views on fidelity and because I didn't want to hurt _you._ So I've been hurting myself instead. And now I find that you've been thinking things like that about me all this time?" She watched Simon's cheeks turn red with shame. "Fine. If that's what you think of me then that's your decision." Her eyes flashed with anger, "but if you think I'm sleeping around or looking for cheap sex then you're wrong. Because I feel more for Shaz than I've ever felt about anyone." She watched him swallow, his guilt increasing. "Maybe I'm…" her throat almost choked on the admission as it wasn't something Kim was used to saying, "maybe I'm falling for her. I don't know. All I know is that last night was the first time I felt truly happy from the moment I arrived here, and I want to feel that way again." She turned around and marched from the kitchen with Simon following behind. He watched as she grabbed one of her bags and started loading up the bits and pieces that sat around the couch into it.

"Kim, what are you doing?" he asked.

"This was only supposed to be temporary," Kim reminded him. "it's probably time I went home."

Simon was torn between guilt and a slight sense of relief. He didn't want her to move out but he couldn't handle any more early morning surprises either.

"Kim, just wait for a minute," he pleaded.

"No," Kim shook her head, "I'll take this for now and I'll collect the others after work." She pushed her feet intro her shoes and threw one last angry glare his way. "Bye, Simon."

As the sound of the slamming door jarred Simon's bones and made him flinch he cursed himself for the way he'd reacted. His issues about the subject of cheating were his own problem and it wasn't fair to inflict those on Kim, especially not leaving her thinking he held such a low opinion of her. He shook his head and swore at himself. All he could hope was that, given some time to cool down, she might be in the mood to listen later. He had precious little in this world. The last thing he wanted to lose was his best friend.


	19. Chapter 18: The Unexpected House Guest

**Chapter 18**

"I'm going to be late. I know I'm going to be bloody late."

Alex couldn't seem to pull herself together as she got read for work. It wasn't just her nightmare that was throwing her off that morning, but she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was. She didn't feel unwell exactly, but she certainly didn't feel _right._ She couldn't quite work out what the matter was but whatever it was, it was making it hard for her to get her act together.

The remains of last night's takeaway sat on the table in the lounge. After the day she'd had even Alex couldn't find the energy to clear them away.

"Ugh," she commented as she rounded up a couple of empty cartons and set off for the bin. The sound of the door buzzer that came a moment later surprised her. It seemed like a strange time for someone to call by, she'd usually be at work, and besides – when did anyone_ ever_ drop in? She sighed and shook her head as she made her way to the entry phone and lifted the receiver. "Hello?"

There was a moment of silence before a voice said,

"Ma'am? Can I come in please?"

Alex hesitated. That was Kim's voice. She sounded a little out of breath and extremely quiet for her.

"Uh, yes," she said eventually, "of course."

She pressed the button and the buzzer sounded for Kim to gain entry. Alex opened the front door and waited for her to arrive at the top of the stairs and when she did she was shocked to see her clutching a large bag.

"I'm so sorry," Kim began awkwardly, "but I've got a favour…. I mean, can I…" she closed her eyes and cleared her throat. "I understand completely if the answer's no."

"I don't know what the question is yet," Alex frowned.

Kim bit her lip.

"Is… is it OK if I stay here?" she asked awkwardly, "just for a night or two."

Alex took a literal step backward, confused by Kim's sudden arrival and her question.

"W-why?" she asked, wondering if that sounded a little too blunt and rude, "is there a problem at Simon's?"

"We… had a thing," Kim said quietly.

"What? A fire?"

"An argument," Kim hung her head

Alex hesitated.

"Are you sure you're not overreacting?" she asked quietly, "flatmates have arguments all the time."

"Not usually ones where one flatmate thinks the other is a slapper," Kim said, hanging her head again.

Alex gave a gasp of surprise. That didn't seem like a very _Simon_ thing to say.

"What? What happened?" she asked.

Kim looked a little awkward as she admitted,

"It was partly my fault… I took someone back. I shouldn't have done."

A strange chill passed through Alex's bones.

"Shaz?" she whispered.

Kim nodded and despite all that had happened since her perfect night there was a hint of a smile that she couldn't quite shake away.

"Yeah," she whispered. Her face straightened a little again and she looked at Alex seriously, "I'm not sleeping around, Ma'am, I know that's what Simon thinks. It's not like that with Shaz. She's special."

Alex's heart began to sink in her chest. Usually a friend telling you that they've met someone special is a cause for celebration. _Not so much when you know their someone special is about to meet their sticky end,_ Alex thought to herself. She feigned a smile and said quietly,

"I'm pleased for you, Kim. Shaz is a lovely girl."

"All Simon thinks about is Sandra," Kim began, "I wish I'd never told him about my girlfriend back home. He doesn't seem to realise that when you've been here for a long time…" she sighed and shook her head a little. "Doesn't matter."

"No, go on," Alex said gently. She had a feeling she might understand where Kim was coming from on this one.

"I haven't seen her for a year, ma'am," She said, a little sadly, "and I still miss her, and I still love her, but," she sighed deeply, "I don't think I'm _in_ love with her any more. I think… I think I've changed. And a year is a long time to be on your own."

"Yes. Yes it is," Alex nodded.

"Shaz is… like no one I've ever met before," Kim sighed, "and she makes me happy."

Alex's smile wavered a little.

"That's the important thing," she said quietly. She understood so much of what Kim was saying. It reminded her so much of herself and Gene and Molly. She never thought the day would come where she would choose staying in the nineties over going home to her daughter, but as much as she would never stop loving her it had been a long fifteen years that they had been apart, and a long fifteen years that she'd spent at Gene's side. That was difficult to argue with.

"I tried to fight it," Kim said quietly, "but I just wanted…" she trailed off, not wanting to express her need to feel intimacy and warmth to her boss. "But even if it wasn't about this morning, Simon's been making me miserable about this for the last two weeks, and I can't keep feeling this way."

Alex shook her head slowly.

"No, Kim, and you shouldn't have to," she said quietly.

"I went to my old place at first," Kim said quietly, "hadn't been back there since Keats –" she trailed off, unable to bring herself to think about the terrible act; tying her up, abandoning her on her bed, leaving her to die through thirst or hunger. She visibly shuddered. "But when I got there I had a shock." She pulled a face. "Eddie's moved in."

"Eddie?" Alex repeated.

"The stapler guy," sighed Kim.

"Yes, I know who he is," sighted Alex, "I just didn't realise…." She sighed. She supposed they got what they were given, and it _had _been lying empty for quite some time. "I'm sorry Kim."

"I unlocked the door, walked in and found him stepping out of the shower," Kim shuddered, "stupid twat said _'so this wish fulfilment in dreams stuff works after all'_ and tried to get me in the bloody shower _with_ him!"

Alex felt even more sorry for Kim. Her day had managed to get off to a chronically bad start. She sighed and said,

"I've only got a couch to offer you."

"Believe me, that's fine," Kim said gratefully, "I'm used to couches."

"And just for a night or two," Alex warned, "Gene and I need to do some," she coughed, "_overtime."_

Kim tried not to laugh.

"I understand," she said, "I'll find somewhere tomorrow."

Alex nodded slowly.

"I'll find you some blankets later," she said. She rummaged through her pocket and said, "Kim, I'm sorry to do this but I'm late already and I have to get to work. I'll leave you the key, you take a few minutes to get yourself sorted out and then lock up. Bring the key to my office."

Kim flashed her a grateful smile as she took the key from Alex.

"Thanks," she said quietly.

Alex walked to the still open door and gave Kim a sympathetic smile.

"See you at work," she said, and left to break the news to Gene. She didn't think he was going to be terribly impressed with news of a houseguest. She decided a latte or two might be needed to soften him up first

~xXx~

"Bloody hell Bols, what did you do? Get a bloody franchise in Latte Land?"

Alex gave a slightly guilty smile as Gene surveyed the goodies she'd brought.

"Just thought you could do with a bit of extra energy, to keep you going," she said.

Gene raised an eyebrow.

"Why? What have you got in mind?" he asked.

Alex bit her lip.

"Uh, I meant for the case," she said apologetically. Even her libido wasn't quite at its usual level that day.

"Bollocks," Gene looked thoroughly disappointed. He sighed and scratched his head. "Wondered where you were. Took so long getting here I almost sent out a search party. Thought you'd been sneaking off, setting houses on fire."

"No, just… just taking in house guests," Alex said nervously.

Gene looked at her, confused.

"Define _house guests,"_ he said.

Alex hesitated.

"Don't be angry."

"Don't you just love sentences that start that way?" Gene got to his feet, "really put you at ease!" He frowned at Alex, "what have you done?"

"Kim is going to stay on our couch for a night or two," she said.

Gene frowned a little harder.

"Oh yeah?" he said, "and what's wrong with Shoebury's couch? Gone lumpy? Got a spring up her arse last night?"

"She got _something_ but it wasn't a spring up her arse," Alex muttered. She cleared her throat. "Gene, she's had a… fairly nasty row with Simon. Eddie's in her old home and she has nowhere else to go."

"What's she rowing about?" Gene frowned, "Simon show her one Red Dwarf too many?"

"No," Alex shook her head, "they were rowing about…"she trailed off and bit her lip nervously. Gene didn't like the expression on her face.

"Don't tell me," he began, "it starts with _Sh_ and ends in _az_."

Alex sighed.

"Forget the Shaz part," she said, "Simon's really upset her and she needs a place to stay." His expression made her feel even worse. "Come on, Gene, I couldn't really turn her away. Look at what she and Simon did for you when you needed a place to go." She noted that he hung his head a little. "And Kim repays me in the most extreme way some fifteen years or so down the line," Alex said quietly, "remember?" Her mind ran over Kim and Robin helping her when she awoke in 2011 with no memory of her other existence. She knew she owed Kim for that.

"Fine," Gene said eventually, "two nights. That's it." He paused. "But if 'er metal bits get stuck in the leather she's paying for repairs."

Alex gave a smile of relief.

"Deal," she said.

Gene looked at her curiously. Something didn't seem right.

"You alright today, Bols?" he asked.

Alex hesitated.

"Why?

"You're looking as pale as a polar bear at a Tipp-ex convention."

Alex hesitated again. She knew she wasn't quite right that day.

"I don't know. Gene," she said quietly.

"Nightmare still sending your brain in loops?"

"No," Alex sighed, "In don't know what's wrong with me. I've got this weird feeling. Down in the pit of my stomach."

"That'll be the Chinese," Gene told her, "I said those prawns were off."

"No, Gene," sighed Alex, "not that kind of feeling. A darkness." She looked down. She supposed she sounded like a rambling fool. "Forget it. My mind is running riot, that's all. That'll teach me to watch video nasties." She pulled herself together the best that she could and gave a smile of false cheer before she left Gene's office. Something really wasn't right though, she knew that for certain. Something was hanging in the air. She wished she could shake the dark feeling from around her but it didn't seem to want to leave her. She hoped that it would pass soon because all she wanted was to feel normal again. Feeling this way never led to anything good.

Her fingers brushed against her skin low down on her torso as she walked through CID. The roughness of her scar was as familiar as always but the area was feeling strange. It tingled, ached a little almost. She swallowed as she thought about the last time her scar had started to give her trouble. She didn't like the implications of that and didn't dare share them with Gene. But this felt different to the time she faded in and out. She wasn't feeling weakened in the same way. It almost felt like a hand travelled over her scar. It sent her shuddering with confusion and anxiety.

The world was growing strange again and Alex, for one, desperately wanted things to calm down. 2011 could keep its distance, thank you very much.


	20. Chapter 19: The Call No One Wants To Get

_**A/N: If you're reading both stories make sure you read yesterday's chapter of Dead Man Walking before you read this!**_

**Chapter 19**

Alex wiped the diagram from the corner of the whiteboard before anyone else had a chance to see and concluded her talk with,

"And that's how we will manage to tick the canteen off our _list of places_ without getting chased away by the woman with the fat arse and her colander."

Gene nodded.

"I'm impressed with your thorough research, detective chief inspector," he said.

Alex seemed proud.

"I suppose I'd better make some notes about arsonists now," she sighed with disappointment.

Kim entered CID and walked towards her.

"Ma'am, I tried your office first," she said, "here are your keys." She handed them to Alex and gave a slightly awkward smile. "Thanks."

Gene eyed her warily.

"I hear we 'ave an 'ouseguest for a night or two." He said.

Kim looked at him anxiously. His tone wasn't especially joyous.

"Uh, yes," she said, "sorry."

Gene gave a nod.

"If I find you soaking yer piercings in the kitchen sink yer out on yer ear."

Kim nodded.

"Fair enough," she said, "thanks, Guv."

"And," he said, "it's a welcoming tradition that all houseguests have to do the latte run," he nodded towards the door. "Get moving, Stringer."

Kim sighed and trolled her eyes.

"Yes Guv," she groaned and set off out of the door.

In the corridor outside she found herself heading towards Simon. His face looked downcast and ashen and his eyes grew sadder as he saw her. She looked down, not wanting to meet his gaze and took a different route out of the building. Simon took a deep breath and closed his eyes briefly. He hasn't expected her to act any other way, and he deserved that, he supposed. He shook his head slowly and carried on walking, cursing himself for the row they'd had.

Both he and Kim spent the better part of the day avoiding each other. By the time the day ended and it was time to go home Simon and Kim had each added about ten miles to their usual journeys around the station just to avoid bumping into one another. Alex drove Kim back to her flat and let her in.

"You won't have to worry about me cramping your style tonight," Kim told her, "I'm meeting Shaz for a night out."

"Oh?" Alex tried to sound casual

"Don't worry, you won't find any surprises on your sofa in the morning," Kim told her.

Alex almost giggled. She supposed Gene would be fairly disappointed about that.

The front door opened and Gene arrived, looking strangely dark and grim. Alex was about to make a joke, asking if he'd been banned from latte land again but the serious look on his face stopped her.

"Gene?" she said quietly.

Gene looked her in the eye.

"Uh…. Got a call just before I left," he said grimly, "…Keats woke up."

The atmosphere that fell over the room in that moment was so thick and heavy that Alex and Kim felt as though they could suffocate right there and then. A shocked silence descended. A silence of horror, denial and disbelief. Finally, after it felt like no one was ever going to speak again, Alex said quietly,

"Are you sure?"

Gene hung his head, wising he could deny it.

"Awake, sneering and complaining about the hospital catering," he said.

"No," Kim shook her head, her voice developing a slightly frantic tone, "No, he was brain-dead… they were talking about switching off the machines… they'd been trying to find the next of kin…"

"Well he's not brain-dead any more," said Gene, "not that there's much to be said for the brain 'es got, but it's doing enough to wake him up."

"Shit," Alex closed her eyes and sank into the couch, her heart thumping as the realisation started to sink in. they'd enjoyed a Keats-free existence for almost 4 months and they'd started to take it for granted. Not having to watch over their shoulders, not having to worry what he was doing, it had all been so easy. Now he was awake they knew they'd have to up their game and be on constant alert.

"Before you panic, we've got men on the doors," Gene reminded her, "and he's going nowhere. Not with the cuffs slapped on his wrists and the bed, anyway."

"Kind of thing he enjoys," Kim mumbled, forgetting that she was speaking out loud for a moment and turning red as she realised Alex and Gene were right there with her.

"We'll be 'aving words," Gene assured her, "once he's had his bed bath and a few bowls of cabbage soup we'll be making sure he gets what's coming to him this time."

"Did you have to bring up the cabbage soup?" Alex gagged at the memory of 2011.

"He's got a cabbage for a brain, might as well eat the soup," Kim muttered. She turned and slowly walked to the kitchen, leaving Alex and Gene to exchange a glance. Alex looked pale and drawn and Gene's concern for her began to grow.

"He's coming nowhere near you, Bols," he said firmly.

"I knew something was happening," Alex said quietly, her hand straying to the scar again absently, "I could feel it. Something was brewing." She noticed Gene's eyes had followed her hand and stopped touching the area abruptly. She didn't want to make Gene worry any more than he already was. She stood up and walked towards him, She just needed to be closer. Now that Keats was conscious she felt disturbed nervous and somewhat unsafe. The hand he lent against her shoulder and the expression on her face gave her strength.

"Nothing dping, Alex," he said seriously, "just because he opened his bloody eyes doesn't mean a thing. Nothing changes. He'll rot in prison and we'll get visiting rights to poke 'im with a sharp stick. OK?"

Alex stared into Gene's eyes and nodded slowly. She wished she shared his belief. She didn't feel as sure of herself as Gene did, but his courage and conviction were as much as she needed for now.

~xXx~

In the aftermath of the shock discovery, no one was quite sure what to do for some time. Kim chewed her fingernails and thought seriously about taking up smoking again before she realised that she was staying in Gene Hunt's flat and therefore had all the scotch on tap that she could possibly drink and decided to fill the desire with alcohol instead. As the evening went on, her hand hovered around the phone causing Alex to look at her curiously.

"You can make a call, you know," she said, "as long as you're not trying to get in touch with some long lost relative in Australia.

"I was going to call Shaz," Kim said quietly, "cancel tonight."

Alex looked at her in surprise.

"Why, Kim?" she asked.

Kim looked down.

"Don't really feel much like going out," she said quietly, "don't really feel safe."

Alex closed her eyes for a moment and sighed deeply.

"Kim, hasn't he already ruined as much of your life as you're going to let him?" she asked quietly. Kim looked at her, her eyes slightly teary. "Don't let him ruin your night out too." She could see Kim mulling over her words. "Put it this way, who's going to make you happiest right now?"

Kim bit her lip.

"Shaz," she said honestly.

"Exactly," said Alex. "What are you going to rather do tonight, sit around with Gene and myself watching reruns of _The Bill_ on UK Gold or being with someone who makes you happy?"

Kim took a deep breath and nodded very slowly. She knew what Alex meant. It made a lot of sense.

"I know, ma'am," she said quietly, "I just… I'm worried… if he's awake, he could be anywhere."

"He's in hospital," Alex reminded her, "chained to his bed, being pumped full of cabbage soup. Even if he somehow got out of the handcuffs and past the guards the last place he's going to go is a gay nightclub."

Kim hesitated. She supposed Alex was right. The club was probably one of the safest places to go when Jimbo was around. Eventually she nodded slowly.

"You have a good point, Ma'am," she said and gave a tiny smile before heading off to get ready. Even if Keats had left a dark cloud over her again he wasn't going to spoil her night out with Shaz.

As she sat back and watched Kim flitting around, finding clothes and make-up, getting herself ready for her big night out Alex realised she had an ulterior motive for making sure that Kim didn't stay at home. The news of Keats awakening had shaken Alex every bit as much as it had Kim and all she'd wanted to slope off to bed with Gene at the nearest available opportunity. She needed to feel close to him. Her libido was having a nudge, not necessarily for the right reasons but she knew what she needed to help her get through that night.

She sat watching Kim going back and forth, slightly more dressed up each time. She wished she could see a sped-up version, like one of those nature documentaries with time-lapse photography showing the blooming of a flower over time. _The blooming of a Kim,_ she thought to herself as she watched and almost laughed to herself.

By the time she was ready, Kim really was blooming. Alex realised that Kim would probably find the same safety in Shaz that she was seeking from Gene that night. Her heart sank as she recalled once more the limited time that Kim and Shaz had together and it was with a sad smile that she finally waved her goodbye.

"Was that Stringer?" Gene did a double take as she set off.

Alex glanced up and saw Gene looking a little shell-shocked.

"Yes," she said, "why?"

Gene shook his head in astonishment.

"First time I've ever seen her looking less masculine than Bammo," he commented.

"That's what love does to you," Alex told him.

"Love or alcohol?" asked Gene, "I'm missing half a bottle of scotch."

Alex got to her feet and slowly walked across to Gene.

"But that means you still have half a bottle left?" she asked.

Gene eyed her warily.

"Why?"

"Well," she pressed her fingers against his shirt and looked into his eyes, "because I was thinking what an excellent hiding place for the rest of your scotch that the bedroom would be."

Gene raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yes?"

Alex nodded.

"Just in case Kim comes back for a second helping," she said, "she'd never think of looking in the bed."

Gene nodded slowly.

"You know yer hiding places," he said, "what were you? School hide and seek champion?"

Alex nodded.

"I was an acclaimed kiss-chase champion too," she said.

Gene felt a certain part of his anatomy jump to attention.

"I'll need to see a sample of yer skills," he said.

Alex hooked the material of his shirt with her finger and began to walk him to the bedroom.

"With pleasure," she said with a smile.


	21. Chapter 20: The Leather & Pyjamas Combo

**Chapter 20**

"_Robin!"_

Simon awoke from another nightmare, his body doused in sweat, the sheets sodden and his limbs trembling. He sat bolt upright as he gasped Robin's name, panting as he tried to catch his breath and calm his racing pulse. As memories of the dream came back to him he quickly turned his head to one side and looked at his hand.

"_Shit."_

He breathed deeply and closed his eyes. He'd been so sure, just for a moment, that Robin had been right there beside him. He could still feel Robin's hand in his own. He hung his head, shaking it slowly. The nightmares were so cruel sometimes. He was shocked to find his eyes filling up with tears and he crossly wiped them away before getting out of bed and walking grimly out of the bedroom. He turned to the couch, looking for Kim, before he remembered.

"_Shit,_" he declared. He cursed himself yet again for his awful behaviour the day before. He hated himself for it but he couldn't change the way he was. He couldn't pretend that he felt any other way about infidelity. He gave a deep sigh and shook his head. He'd have given anything for Kim to be there right then, telling him to man-up and stop being so silly, that they were only nightmares and that a good breakfast would make him feel better.

He glanced at the flashing light on the answer phone. He hadn't noticed it when he came back from karaoke the night before. With a sigh he walked across and pressed the button to play his messages. There was a moment of silence and a couple of awkward grunting noises before Gene's voice said,

"_I bloody hate these things, you know. Simon, there's been some news."_ He heard him sigh on the machine. _"You're not going to like this. Jimbo's opened his eyes. Wide awake and pissing off the nurses. We've got plod on the doors and he's chained up like a wild animal, but we thought you should know."_

As the message ended, Simon sank down onto the couch and put his head in his hands. As though things could get any worse. A thought struck him and he started to feel anxious.

"Oh God, _Kim,"_ he whispered. He knew the news would hit her terribly hard and despite what had happened the day before he needed to go and make sure she was alright.

He quickly pulled on his jumper and threw his jacket over it and headed out to her old home to make sure she wasn't in a state. He knocked firmly on the door and waited for her to answer but to his surprise Eddie opened the door.

"Huh?" frowned Simon, "where's Kim?"

Eddie sighed, a little disappointedly.

"I was wondering the same thing," he said, "I guess the wish fulfilment thing doesn't work two days in a row."

"This is Kim's place," Simon frowned.

"I've been living here for the last two weeks," frowned Eddie.

"You have?" Simon frowned, "shit, where's Kim then?"

Eddie shrugged.

"Why are you wearing a leather jacket and pyjama bottoms?" he countered.

"I am?" Simon looked down and flushed. "_Shit!"_ he shook his head and sighed. "Where the hell has Kim gone then?"

Eddie shrugged.

"I saw her leaving with DCI Drake last night," he said, "maybe that's where she went."

Simon gave a deep sigh. He supposed he'd have to make another leg to his journey.

"Thanks, mate," he sighed and turned to head back to his car. He wished more than anything that the stupid fight had never happened. Was Kim OK? Just because Gene had said Keats was unable to get out of the hospital didn't mean that Simon's fears were allayed. He knew that Keats wouldn't plan on staying put for long. He'd seen him vanish from handcuffs and disappear into thin air after taking a plunge from the roof.

The drive to Alex's seemed to take forever and a day but he finally arrived and rang the buzzer. There were a few moments before Alex's voice came from the speaker.

"_Hello?"_

Simon felt a little breathless from anxiety.

"Alex, is Kim there?" he asked.

"_No… well, she's staying here, but… she's not here right now,"_ Alex's voice told him.

Simon closed his eyes.

"Shit," he leaned back against the wall, "do you know where she is?" The silence that greeted him gave him his answer. "With Shaz," he sighed.

He heard Alex give a sigh too.

"_I don't think this is the time to be making Kim feel any worse,"_ she said, _"she's dealing with enough."_

"Yeah, I know," Simon told her, "that's why I'm here. I heard about Keats. I wanted to make sure she was OK."

"_Well she's shaken up and in need of support,"_ said Alex, _"how do you think she feels?"_

"I know, I came to…" Simon began before he frowned. "Actually, this would be so much easier if we weren't two doors, a staircase and an intercom apart."

Alex cleared her throat a little awkwardly.

"_Good point,"_ she said, and buzzed him in.

As Simon jogged up the stairs he realised he was still half dressed for bed and cursed himself for not going home to change before heading to Alex's. He only hoped gene wouldn't be home. He'd never live the comments down. He felt a little awkward as he entered the flat and saw Alex's cross expression. He supposed she'd heard Kim's side of the story and already judged him guilty.

"Alex," he said, breathing a little heavily from the run up the stairs, "Keats… How secure is he? I mean, he couldn't find Kim while she's out, could he?"

Alex gave a deep sigh. Her own fears about Keats were strong without Simon adding to them but she gave the standard line,

"He's being guarded and cuffed, Simon. He won't go anywhere."

"I'm worried about Kim being out on her own," Simon told her.

"She's not on her own," Alex reminded him. The expression on Simons face made her feel angry and she commented, "not that what Kim does in her own time is any of your business." She paused. "You've really hurt that girl, you know."

Simon nodded and hung his head.

"I know," he said.

"Why did you say those things to her?"

Simon shook his head slowly.

"I saw red," he said quietly, "she already knew how I felt about what she was doing with Shaz but she still invited her back to my place, without even asking me."

"It's not that simple," Alex shook her head, "it's not like she's going out with Shaz behind her girlfriend's back. It's not like she has the opportunity to break up with Sandra to avoid two timing. She hasn't seen her girlfriend for almost a year, there's been no contact, she can't call her or send her an email. And she's just found someone who makes her feel," she paused, "alive again."

"I don't feel comfortable with it," Simon said quietly.

"You can't lead Kim's life for her," Alex reminded him.

"I wasn't trying to –" Simon began but his head grew fuzzy and he started to fall backwards. He just about stopped himself and tried to balance himself against the wall.

"Simon?" Alex felt alarmed by his dizzy turn and reached out to steady his arm.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Simon closed his eyes feeling spacey and dazed.

"Come here, sit down," Alex said, leading him through to the lounge and sitting him on the sofa. He put his head in his hands for a few moments, breathing deeply until the world stopped spinning. Then, he slowly opened his eyes and looked up, embarrassed. "Better?" Alex asked quietly.

Simon breathed in and out.

"A bit," he said quietly. He looked at her a little awkwardly. "Sorry, not enough sleep last night." He hung his head. "Been having nightmares."

"That makes two of us," Alex said quietly as she sat down beside him.

"I couldn't make any sense of it," Simon shook his head. "There was a bit where Robin was trapped perpetually in the video to that bloody Mike and the Mechanics song… stuck in the giant coffee cup… then there was all this random stuff on a boat. He was tied up, and –"

"Tied up?" A cold feeling travelled through Alex's veins as Simon nodded.

"But then suddenly… It was like he was right there. Beside me." He exhaled loudly and his eyes closed involuntarily. "I thought he was right there, sleeping next to me in my bed." He could still picture him, the hair falling over one eye, one arm stretched out on the pillow above him.

"What happened?" Alex whispered.

Simon opened his eyes, a look of sadness on his face.

"I took his hand," he said quietly, "and then he just faded away. Vanished."

A horrible heaviness settled over his heart.

"I'm sorry," Alex said quietly.

Simon couldn't face thinking about Robin and his nightmares any longer.

"I think I'd better go," he said quietly, "I'll catch Kim at work."

"Are you OK to get up?" Alex asked, concerned by his earlier turn, but Simon was already up on his feet.

"I'm fine," he lied, ignoring the dizziness still hanging around his head. He gave Alex a half-hearted smile. "See you at the station," he said.

Alex looked after him a little anxiously as she watched him go.

"Look after yourself," she told him and gave a deep sigh. Looking after himself was something that Simon was definitely failing to do and it was clearly taking its toll. She only hoped that he and Kim could patch up their differences because, as far as she could see, Simon needed his friends more than ever.


	22. Chapter 21:  The Well Needed Apology

**Chapter 21**

Kim awoke with an arm around her shoulders. Immediately it brought a warmth to her heart and a smile to her lips. She remembered the horror of a conscious Keats but the scent of Shaz's perfume soothed her mind. She turned around and saw Shaz awake and smiling.

"Morning," she said.

"Good morning, babe," Shaz smiled back. She still looked tired from all their dancing the night before. It was no wonder Kim had lost most of the weight she'd gained since she arrived in the nineties. All she seemed to do these days was dance the night away. _Well, that, and partake in another form of exercise_, she thought with a smile.

"Oh god," she groaned, "I've got to go to work and I didn't bring a change of clothes. I don't think the Guv is going to approve of me chasing arsonists in my clubbing gear."

Shaz giggled a little.

"I've got the day off," she said.

"You lucky thing," sighed Kim. She paused and sighed. "Actually, I'm quite glad I'm at work today." She looked at Shaz a little awkwardly, her mind troubled but only able to tell half the story. "There's this… _suspect,"_ she said quietly, "really nasty guy. He hurt me," her voice wavered, "he'd been in a deep coma and they thought for sure he was brain-dead, but he woke up yesterday."

Shaz's heart sank as she saw the sadness and fear on Kim's face. She reached out and laid her hand on Kim's arm.

"Oh babe, I'm sorry," she said quietly, "that's horrible. I thought you weren't yourself last night."

Kim looked down.

"Sorry," she whispered.

"Don't be sorry," said Shaz.

Kim sighed and brushed her hair back.

"I'm quite glad of the distraction of work," she said, "at least I won't be sitting around dwelling on it"

Shaz nodded.

"I'm glad you like your work," she said.

"Don't you?" Kim asked frowning a little.

Shaz hesitated. She gave a sigh and said quietly,

"Bit disillusioned. That's all."

Kim propped herself up on her elbow to look at her seriously.

"What's the matter, Shaz?" she asked.

Shaz sighed again. She closed her eyes for a moment.

"I'm so frustrated," she said quietly, "nothing I do seems to make a difference. Everyone says I'll get used to it but I'm not. I hate it," she dropped her voice a little, "and my sergeant is a bastard of the first degree too." She looked back at Kim. "You're lucky you like your team so much"

"Yeah," Kim nodded slowly, "I am." She hesitated and bit her lip as she thought it over. "Hey…. If you're really that unhappy… have you thought about transferring?

"Transferring?" Shaz repeated.

Kim nodded.

"Maybe you could talk to Alex," Kim suggested, "DCI Drake. Ask her if she thinks you'd be able to transfer to Fenchurch East."

"You think I might be able to?" Shaz asked, a little glimmer of hope in her eye.

"It's got to be worth asking at least," said Kim, "life's too short to be unhappy."

Shaz smiled. That was true.

"Thanks, Kim," she said, "I'll do that. I'll talk to her and see what she says."

Kim felt a smile spreading across her face at the thought of Shaz working at the same station. That possibility would certainly keep her going on a day that would otherwise be full of nerves and worries. She reluctantly sat up and said,

"I've really got to go. But I'll see you tonight?"

"Count on it," Shaz smiled.

~xXx~

Kim kept her spirits high as she walked to work. She had to admit she looked over her shoulder once or twice but thoughts of Shaz outweighed thoughts of Keats by 10 to 1. She arrived at the station feeling brought and cheerful and even Gene's comment of "_Stringer, if I wanted to dazzle the suspects with a glitterball I'd have bought a real one, not used you in that get-up"_ couldn't knock the smile from her face.

The sight of a grim Simon entering CID, however, did.

"What do you want?"

She didn't mean to sound rude but after all the worrying about Keats she wanted to keep hold of the happiness she'd found and not lose it thanks to Simon and another round of questioning by the infidelity police.

"I was worried about you," Simon told her a little sheepishly.

"I'm allowed to stay out until after midnight, I don't usually turn into a pumpkin," Kim told him.

Simon hesitated.

"I meant because of Keats," he said quietly.

Kim's eyes turned downward.

"I've made a decision not to think about him today," she said, "today I am focussing on ignoring the existence of Keats."

Simon stared at her. Despite her words, the fear still told in her eyes. He shuffled a little at the doorway.

"I'm worried about you," he said, "I'm worried Keats will come looking for you."

Kim looked away and swallowed hard. That was a topic she had been working diligently on ignoring.

"You're doing a very good job of making me shit myself now, Simon," she said quietly.

Simon chewed on his lip in a very Robin-like way.

"Come home, Kim," he said quietly.

Kim shook her head and looked him in the eye.

"After what you said?"

"I didn't say half the things _you_ think I said, you were putting words in my mouth."

"But you were thinking them."

Simon hesitated. He noticed Eddie and Terry watching from across the room and taking bets on which of them was going to end up winning the argument.

"Look, can we go to my office or something," he said quietly.

Kim hesitated.

"I just got in," she said a little bluntly, "I have work to do."

"Please?" Simon looked at her seriously, "I just want to get this sorted out. I don't like fighting with you."

Kim stared at him. It bordered on a glare. Finally she got to her feet and said quietly,

"You've got five minutes. Make it good."

She followed Simon through the corridor and to his office. The room was empty, with Lindsay and Vickery off questioning someone for trying to hump a computer in the local branch of _Dixons_. Simon closed the door behind them and looked at Kim nervously.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

Kim stared at him.

"Which part are you sorry for?" she asked, "thinking I'm a slapper, yelling at me in front of Shaz or making me feel like I'm not even allowed a life?"

Simon shook his head slowly.

"I never meant to make you feel bad, Kim," he said quietly, "honestly. My thoughts on cheating are something I can't change and I can't bear to see what you're doing behind your girlfriend's back – but that's no excuse for what I said to you."

Kim closed her eyes.

"You see?" she said, "even in your apology you make me feel like the scum of the earth!"

"Kim –"

"No, listen to me for once, Simon," Kim said, "this isn't your common-or-garden adultery. Out there, back in the real world, yes I have a girlfriend. And I love her, we've been together a while, it's nice and it's comfortable and it's…" she closed her eyes again. "And when I got here I missed her and my family so much that I could hardly breathe. They say absence makes the heart grow finder but…" she gave a deep sigh. "I miss warmth and companionship. I miss being touched and feeling loved. I miss that electricity that rages through your heart every time you see that someone special. But I don't… I don't miss _her_." She hung her head. "Not like I did. Not in the same way. Not like I miss my family. I loved her – I'll always love her, but I don't know if I was… ever in love with her." She looked at him seriously. "In fact, I'm not sure I'd ever been in love before."

Simon swallowed as he saw in her eyes what she was trying to say.

"Until now?" his voice was awkward and broken.

Kim nodded slowly.

"If I was still out there with Sandra then maybe we'd still be together, but maybe we'd have just grown apart anyway," Kim said quietly, "the spark was never really there, we were both too focused on our careers, never took the time to be with each other enough."

"Well maybe that's something you can work on when you wake up," said Simon.

Kim shook her head slowly.

"We didn't make the time to be with each other because…" she took a deep breath, "we didn't feel the _need_ to make the time. We didn't want to be together more. We were there and it was comfortable. But it wasn't…. it didn't feel like fire."

Simon looked away.

"And Shaz?" he asked.

Kim looked down. Her cheeks grew pink and a smile spread across her face that she couldn't fight.

"Every time I see her my heart just…" she hesitated, glancing back at Simon. This wasn't her kind of talk. Kim didn't go for the hearts and flowers. She didn't invest her energy in the mushy stuff. Maybe that's because she'd never been in love before? "I can't fight the way I feel about her," she whispered, "it's like… we're both in the force, but that's not the be all and end all of us, like it is with me and Sandra. Work comes second and Shaz comes first."

"I don't really wish to know who _comes first_," Simon mumbled, looking away.

Kim shook her head.

"You know exactly what I mean," she said crossly.

Simon looked at her. He felt awkward talking about this.

"And what about when you wake up?" he asked, "and Sandra's been by your bedside, waiting for you to recover? How are you going to feel then?"

Kim gave a tiny shrug.

"I don't know," she said helplessly, "but I do know I'll never be able to see Shaz again, will I? If I… if I don't make the most of the time that we have while I'm here, I'll regret it all my life."

"And what if you get in too deep," Simon asked, "and when you get better and wake up you can't cope without her?"

Kim shook her head slowly.

"I can't answer that, Simon." She said quietly, "I just know how much I love her."

_Oops._ The words slipped out before she could stop them. She closed her eyes and turned around, muttering to the ceiling. Simon watched her, feeling torn and confused. Despite his feelings on infidelity, Kim's words and actions showed him that her feelings for Shaz were more than a sordid little affair. He licked his dry lips nervously.

"I just… I just know how I'd feel if it was Robin," he said, "what if I hadn't been killed in the accident and Robin woke up after having some grand, passionate affair in nineteen ninety five? I'd be absolutely gutted."

"It's not like I'm ever going to tell Sandra," Kim said quietly, "tell her about some weird other world and some affair she'd think was all in my head? Do me a favour. How else is she ever going to find out?"

Simon sighed.

"Sometimes other people wake up," he said a little pathetically.

Kim sank into a chair. Her head was spinning.

"Simon, this isn't about you and Robin. You two are sound. Me and Sandra… we've got flaws." She hesitated and looked at him seriously. "And you do know what you said in the letter, right?" Simon looked at her, confused. "The one I've learnt by heart, to give to Robin." She paused as he seemed clueless. "You've told him you want him to be happy and to meet someone else." She noticed a sadness on Simon's face. "Do you really mean that? Or, if he ever _does_ meet someone else, are you going to see it as cheating on you?" She waited for a response but still Simon stayed quiet. "because if so then I'm going to have to scrub that part of the letter from my head."

"It's not quite the same thing," Simon said quietly.

"But that doesn't mean that's not how you'll see it when you finally are together again," Kim pointed out, "Simon, if Robin lives another twenty years, marries another man and arrives here sometime down the line how are you going to feel?"

Simon looked down.

"I don't know," he said quietly, "this is… _different._ We're in a different situation." He closed his eyes. "I want him to be happy," he whispered.

Kim hesitated as she looked at his unsure expression.

"And what about you?" she asked.

"What about me?" Simon asked quietly.

"What if you ever met someone else?"

Simon shook his head.

"Won't happen," he mumbled.

"What about if the Guv turned, said '_strip off and get on my desk pronto-tonto, Shoeboy'_ and wanted to shack up with you?" asked Kim.

"_Kim!"_

"What would you do then?"

Simon shook his head. He felt as though his head might explode.

"Kim, this is all too complicate, and anyway it's not going to happen."

"But if you met someone?"

Simon shook his head again.

"I don't know, OK?" he cried, "I just don't know. I never asked for this! I never asked for any of this!" he sank onto his desk and put his head in his hands. "I don't _know_, Kim. It would still feel like cheating. And cheating only leads to hurt. For everyone."

"What _is_ this problem you have with infidelity?" Kim asked him. The grim look on his face made her soften her tone a little. "Look at truth or dare - Half the truths you asked were if people had cheated. You went mad at me when I said I'd kissed other women."

Simon hung his head. He breathed in deeply as he felt his stomach bubbling with acid.

"It doesn't matter, Kim," he said bluntly.

"Obviously it does," said Kim. She stared at him. There was a story to be told, but she wasn't sure he was willing to share it. "Come on, Simon. What happened? Did someone cheat on you?" She watched him shaking his head. "Did you… cheat on someone else?" He shook his head again. He stayed silent for some time before he finally looked up but didn't quite meet her eye.

"I barely remember it," he said quietly, "I was really young. About three, maybe four?" he gave a deep sigh. "My parents had always been happy, then suddenly… there were all these rows. We'd sneak down to the staircase to listen to them after we were supposed to be in bed. It went on for weeks. Dad left home for… five, six days."

Kim swallowed.

"What happened?" she asked.

Simon closed his eyes.

"Claire… she was the eldest of the three of us… she tried to explain to me and Elaine what cheating was and said she'd heard them talking about it. One of them… we never found out who… had…" he trailed off, his mouth dry.

"God," Kim whispered.

"I think there was some counselling," Simon said quietly, "marriage guidance. They stayed tight-lipped about what happened. They never actually told us – the official party line was that _'sometimes just loving each other isn't enough because people make mistakes'_. Eventually the counselling must have helped because we were all back together and happier than ever, but mum died a year or two later." He scratched his head to distract himself from the memory.

"I'm sorry, Simon," Kim said quietly. That must have been a horrible, confusing memory to have from young childhood. She paused. "Did you never find out what really happened?"

Simon shook his head slowly.

"Some years later I asked my dad," he said, "I was off to university and getting the man-to-man lecture about surviving in the big wide world. I asked him what happened and he said it all happened a long time ago, before I was even born, then few years later someone was shit-stirring and some things came out that would have been better left buried." He paused. "Well, he didn't say 'shit-stirring'… that's what he meant though."

Kim looked at him sympathetically.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, "no wonder you feel so strongly about infidelity." She reached out and laid a friendly hand on top of his. "Simon… Simon, I wish that this hadn't happened to you… and I'm sorry that you never really found out what happened." She swallowed. "But if there was a way I could make it that I wasn't cheating on Sandra then I would. If I could pick up the phone and call her or go to see her and tell her it's over then I would. But I can't. And I can't change the way I feel about Shaz."

Simon nodded.

"I know," he said quietly.

Kim looked a little sad.

"Things… things aren't going to work out with Sandra when I wake up," she almost choked back a tear at the admission, "but it's got nothing to do with Shaz. The longer you're apart from Robin the more you want to be with him. The longer I'm here…" she shook her head. "I miss her less and less."

Simon looked at her. He actually felt a little sorry for her.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"I love Shaz," Kim cursed herself for saying it out loud again, "but I'll only get to be with her for a little while. She's the first piece of happiness I've had since I arrived in this world and I can't let her go."

Simon looked suitably guilty.

"Please come home, Kim," he said quietly.

Kim looked at him.

"What about Shaz?" she asked.

Simon took a deep breath.

"I don't want to find her on my couch in the mornings," he said quietly.

Kim nodded slowly.

"Her bed's more comfy anyway," she said. She saw him looking a little uncomfortable. "But… but if I stay over at her's... are you going to give me a hard time?"

Simon stared at her. He finally shook his head slowly.

"No," he said, "at least… at least I'll do my best not to. And if I do," he gave a tiny smile, "you can kick me in the shin and chuck my Red Dwarf videos out the window."

Kim gave a weak smile.

"Done," she whispered.

As they shared a slightly awkward hug of apology, Simon felt a huge sense of relief. He didn't like fighting with Kim and hated losing her friendship from his life. He wasn't going to change his views on infidelity but he could see things more from Kim's point of view now. He was glad they'd cleared the air and _really_ glad to have his flatmate back.

He only wished he could now shake the image of Gene propositioning him in his office. He was going to have a hard time looking him in the eye for some time.

_Thanks a bunch for that, Kim, _Simon thought crossly, _I can almost see the graffiti now…_


	23. Chapter 22: The Perks Of Hospital Life

**Chapter 22**

"Time for your bed bath, Mister Keats."

_Oh_, this was the life. Keats had to admit that there were some perks to being back in 1996. He smiled as the pretty young brunette in her uniform brought the soapy water to his bedside and began to tend to him.

It really wasn't all bad, aside from the handcuffs digging into his wrists. There were the bed baths, the attractive young medical people attending to his every need, the free food and his very own TV. More than that, there was the joy of being back in his own body. A body in which he knew everything was perfectly in proportion and nothing was out of place. There was no crusty skin; no matted, greasy hair and definitely no shrivelled micro-penis. Living in Layton's body for a week wasn't an experience he wanted to repeat.

He felt relieved to be free of those 'urges;' as well, the ones that ran through his veins, begging for substances that he'd never experienced before. Although he had to admit that the highs were exquisite, he felt relieved not to have that constant gnawing at his soul any longer.

Arriving back in his own body had been confusing and disorientating at first. It had taken him some time to piece together the events leading up to his return. He remembered flashes of images; he remembered a hospital room in 2011, Alex's comatose body lying in the bed. He remembered a furious fight, Robin's face full of desperation. He remembered the pain as the scissors plunged into his neck and the feeling of lifting, rising from the body he'd taken over without permission. The next thing he knew his body was feeling heavy and someone was saying, "_Jim? Jim, can you hear me?" _over and over until he opened his eyes to find himself surrounded by doctors.

His mind was full of the discoveries he'd made; the information that he'd absorbed from the future. There was too much of it. There were some things that he really, truly wished he'd never found out. He could quite happily lead his life never knowing. But now that he _did_ know, he had to work out how to use the truth to his own advantage.

Some things were haunting him. Some things were causing him to wake with a start, growling and groaning and begging for someone to take the knowledge away. Other things were just starting to bloom and blossoming in his mind for future reference. He knew his time in the hospital wasn't going to be a lengthy stay, he would decide soon enough that he'd had enough of the hospitality and find a way out of his alleged incarceration, but for now it gave him a well-needed chance to gather his thoughts.

He smiled smugly as the bed bath ventured into more pleasant areas and he leaned back with a contented sigh.

"All I'm missing," he said, "is a bloody big bunch of grapes."

~xXx~

Gene tried to pay attention as Kim, still in her clubbing clothes, tried to talk him through the photofit from the latest arson attack. He knew it was good that the victim had seen the man more clearly than most of the other victims and the fact that they finally had a photofit artist who _didn't _make all their suspects look like Keith Chegwin was very helpful but unfortunately no matter how enthusiastic Kim was about their chances of trapping the guy this time all he could think about was the man who'd opened his eyes.

"Stringer," he sighed eventually, "you and yer bacofoil outfit have done yerselves proud but you're going to have to take the lead on this one."

Kim looked at him in surprise as he got to his feet.

"But… where are you going?" she asked quickly.

Gene threw his coat over his arm.

"Got to see a man about a bunch of grapes," he said grimly as he walked from the office, his eyes fixed ahead of him and his expression strong and determined.

Kim watched him go with confusion and flapped the photofit in the air a few times.

"So what am I supposed to do with this now?" she cried, but Gene was already out of earshot.

~xXx~

Alex sat at her desk, staring at the wall. She knew there was paperwork to do She knew there were cases to follow up. She knew there were suspects in the cells awaiting questioning but all she could think about was the fact that Keats was awake and lurking somewhere within the walls of the nearby hospital. Her stomach churned horribly every time she thought about it. Knowing what he had done to her, to the _other _her, while she wasn't in control of her own body made her feel sick and sordid all over again.

When Alex arrived back in 1995 Keats was already unconscious and Alex had been relieved. The thought that he may never wake up, might never have the opportunity to bring terror to the world again, brought her hope and peace but now that he was conscious she stewed at the thought of him lying there, knowing what he had done to her.

She thought about all the precautions they were taking; the guards on the door, the handcuffs – would any of that truly stop Keats? Would any of it block him from leaving? And then there were all the charges that were up against him – would any of them stick? They hadn't so far.

The more she thought about it, the angrier she grew. All that he'd done, all he had managed to get away with, the way he'd used the other 'her' in more ways than one. He hadn't just used her for his sordid sexual pleasure but he'd taken her to undo the foundations of Gene's world; absorbing her into Fenchurch West had been like taking out one of the walls of Fenchurch East. He'd been using her to destroy Gene, personally, professionally, completely.

Her anger was growing and her blood was boiling, She found herself on her feet and pacing. She couldn't stop herself. Up and down in the little office she went, desperately trying to walk off some of the anger and some of the tension, but the feelings only grew.

Eventually she felt something just snap inside of her. She couldn't stand it any longer. She had her own demons to face, quite literally, and the only way to cease the boiling of her blood was to take a long walk to the hospital and to confront the man who'd tried to take it all away from them, It wouldn't be easy but she could face it. She had to. It was time to take back the parts of herself that Keats still held hostage. She was a victim to no one and it was time to show him that.

~xXx~

Simon wasn't sure why he felt so unsettled. Something was nagging at him and he couldn't quite place it. He'd made up with Kim and although he knew things might be awkward for a little while he knew their friendship would get back on track. He was on top of his work and the questioning of the _Dastardly Computer Shagger of Fenchurch_ was going well. He hadn't upset Gene by kissing him or getting a trouser tent or persuading him to take part in any 21st century TV shows recently so that wasn't it. Then why was he feeling mixed up and uncomfortable?

It took him a little while to locate the source of the feelings. _Keats._ He felt himself becoming angrier the second he realised why he was feeling that way. How dare he wake up? How _dare_ he still be alive? He was supposed to have been _braindead!_ Too much bloody red tape about signing papers and finding next of kin meant they delayed too long with the old switch-off.

He heard a loud snap and felt something sharp sticking in his finger. He looked down and found to his surprise he had snapped a pencil. He had no idea he was holding one, much less taking out his anger on it.

He thought about everything Keats had done; the way he targeted people when they were weak and vulnerable, the way that he would go to any lengths to get what he wanted, the way he so gladly took in all the evil energy he could absorb and used it to cause chaos and pain.

He felt sick as he thought about that last confrontation before his coma; up on the roof of Fenchurch West, trying once again to bring out his human side. Why had he bothered? Why did he ever _fucking _bother? It wasn't the first time he'd tried and what happened? Every time the monster just took straight back over. There was some semblance of a man in there but the layers of evil built around it were too thick.

He was in danger of snapping anther pencil. In fact, he was in danger of snapping someone's neck, and if anyone was going to be on the receiving end of that kind of anger it should be Keats himself.

Before he could let his common sense talk him out of it he got to his feet, grabbed his leather jacket and stormed from the office.

~xXx~

Kim walked away from CID, leaving behind the amorous advances of Eddie. She was getting sick and tired of trying to convince him to abandon his '_it's all a dream'_ policy and that just wishing her clothes off wasn't going to make it happen. Every now and then she thought she was getting somewhere and that he would start thinking about why he was in 1996, but then he'd just decide it was a very long dream all over again and try to make big pots of cash appear or something. He just wasn't getting it.

Aside from him trying to wish the clothes off of every female in CID, Kim just wasn't in the mood for stupidity. Her head was already screwed up enough from knowing Keats was conscious and on the road to recovery. It seemed so unfair, after all he'd put them through – he was back. The scar on her neck from the bullet he'd fired was a constant physical reminder of his actions while the nightmares and the flashbacks were a mental and emotional one. He had caused her so much pain and so many tears, and yet here he was, alive and well.

She couldn't stand to think of it. And even though he was being guarded by coppers and had his hands chained to the bed she didn't; feel any safer. She needed to see for herself that he was going nowhere, at least for now. Otherwise she wouldn't be able to rest.

With her clubbing gear still adorning her body, she let the photofit drop to the floor and set off for the nearest exit. She had been under Keats's shadow of fear for too long. It was time to stare evil in the eye and tell it she was no longer afraid.


	24. Chapter 23: The Worst Bed Bath Ever

_**A/M: Thanks so much to everyone who is still following this story and for the alerts, reviews and comments – I really appreciate it! I hope you are still enjoying it!**_

**Chapter 23**

"You have a visitor, Mister Keats."

Keats looked up in surprise at the nurse who'd spoken. He wasn't sure what kind of a visitor he would be getting. He raised an eyebrow, about the one thing that wasn't chained to the bed and said,

"I have? Ask them to come in then."

Keats prepared himself to greet whoever it was – it was most likely to be some stuffy superintendent coming to give him a slap on the wrist. But to his surprise the person who walked through the door was the very last person he expected to see.

"Hello, Jimbo."

Gene stood in the doorway, blocking out the light with his coat and his domineering stance. His expression was set, grim and determined, while his body language showed that he was in no mood for any kind of games. Keats felt a moment of nervousness as he stared at the man in the doorway. He never usually allowed himself to feel daunted by Gene, but he was never usually shackled to a bed either. He swallowed, but soon pulled himself together and welcomed Gene with a smarmy smile.

"My first visitor," he said, "What an unpleasant surprise. Do pull up a chair - they've only got the hard plastic ones but I don't suppose you'll be staying long enough for that to matter." He made a big show of peering all around Gene. "You seem to have forgotten my grapes.

"You'll be getting a bunch of something, but it won't be grapes," Gene threatened. He walked slowly to Keats, ever slow pace a silent threat. His scowl never faltered. His stare didn't move an inch. He slowly sank down into the chair beside the bed, his legs wide apart, and leant forward. "It's been lovely and quiet around these parts without you, Jim. Could get used to it, in fact." He raised an eyebrow. "It would be awful if anything happened to make you slip into another coma, wouldn't it?"

Keats tried to stare him down but his lip twitched nervously.

"If you're making threats there are two bookend idiots on the doors listening to every word you say," he warned, "they're witnesses."

"They're also two of _ours," _said Gene, "you haven't got a leg to stand on." His eyes travelled down to Keats's legs, chained to the bed. "Not that you could stand if you wanted to.

Keats gave a mocking laugh.

"Very amusing, Gene," he said, "I have missed your sense of humour." He allowed his head to rise slightly, bringing him just a touch closer to Gene as he hissed, "That's what you miss most when you go on holiday, isn't it? The people who keep you laughing back home."

"Holiday?" Gene repeated, "where have you been then? Two weeks in the Algarve? Backpacking through the lesser spotted arse region?"

"I've been on a lovely trip," Keats sneered, "I've seen things."

"Flying pigs? Stars floating round yer head?"

Keats tried to bring his hand upwards. Chained to the bed all he could do was to rattle the cuffs, but it drew Gene's attention to his hand as he made a tiny circle between his thumb and forefinger, then hissed,

"See that, Gene? That's all you're worth." Gene stared at his hand, bewildered by this nonsense, "one tiny circle. Not even an inch across, Hunt. That's all you're worth to her." He stared Gene in the eye. "How does that make you feel? Huh?"

Gene swallowed.

"I'm a circle?" he frowned.

"Just a little circle!" Keats hooted.

Gene stared at him.

"I'm that round am I?" he asked, "turned into Pac-Man or something?"

"Just one… little… circle…" Keats was practically foaming at the mouth, "with one tiny letter inside." He paused, watching Gene's confused expression before giving a loud _'Bzzzzzzzzzzzzz'_ noise.

Gene got to his feet and took a step backwards.

"Not keen on bees," he said, "you've clearly suffered brain damage. Should have switched those machines off while we had the chance." He stood at the door, staring at him. "You'll be foaming at the mouth soon, Jimbo. Tell you what, they're opening a new canine division later this month. I'll get them to check for rabies."

Keats scowled as Gene left.

"You never brought me my fucking grapes!" he cried after him,

~xXx~

"Another visitor, Mister Keats."

Barely ten minutes had passed since Gene's visit to Keats's bedside. Keats looked up in surprise as another person entered the room. This time a dark, hollow glare met him.

"Keats," Alex hissed.

Keats's eyes lit up. He wished his hands were free so that he could rub them together gleefully.

"Well look who it is," he smiled amiably, "here for a repeat performance? It's just that, with these handcuffs you'll have to do the work this time. I'm sure you won't mind. Besides, looks like you could do with the exercise."

"It's not _her_, Keats," Alex stepped towards him slowly. Every step was laden with anger, revulsion and contempt. She swallowed back the terrible feeling of nausea that just laying her eyes on him had brought to her system and continued. "It's me. I made it back. And I know what you've done."

Keats raised an eyebrow.

"Funny," he said, "I know what _you've_ done, too. I've had a very interesting vacation."

"It will be the last one you have for a while," Alex kept her voice steady and confident, "because you're going to spend a very long time behind bars."

"I don't think so," smiled Keats.

"Oh, I'll make sure of it," Alex felt herself shaking but she refused to back down, "because even if you manage to squirm your way out of all the other charges there's one that I'm not going to let you get away with. You'll be going to prison for drugging and sexual assault. I will make absolutely sure of that."

Keats sighed.

"It was all consensual," he told her.

"The hell it was," Alex hissed. She leaned as close as she dared, "that's the only way you can get someone into bed with you, isn't it? Sedatives, date rape drugs, gas and air."

"Actually I find ropes and handcuffs can be quite useful too," said Keats.

"You may have done what you did to _her_ but it was _my_ body," Alex said quietly, "it's me who has to live with knowing what you did. And I know what you tried to do to me before, Keats. I remembered. The little whispers you put into my head?" she sent a glare in his direction that even made Keats's stomach flop over, "didn't work, did they? And you've held that resentment ever since."

Keats stared at her.

"Did it hurt?" he spat.

"What?"

"Must have been a tender area," he sneered, "never had you picked out as that type."

"What type?"

Keats smirked.

"_Bzzzzzzzzzzz,_" he said, his imitation of a tattooing needle failing to explain anything at all to Alex.

"Did it… hurt when I… got stung by a wasp?" she frowned. "Well, yes."

Keats scowled.

"You know what I'm talking about," he said, "a little circle. How very sweet. _Bzzzzzzzz…."_

Alex took a step backward.

"A circle of wasps?" she asked, "you… you're going to plant a wasp's nest in my flat?"

Keats took a deep breath and gave a growl of frustration.

"Don't play dumb!" he hissed.

"The only dumb thing is why I was ever afraid of coming here," Alex put her hands on her hips, "you've gone insane. I mean, even_ more_ insane." She shook her head. "Must have hit your head pretty hard in the accident, that's all I can say." She turned around and began to walk towards the door but she stopped in her tracks as Keats called after her,

"A chip of the old block, isn't she?"

Alex froze. There was a different tone in his voice now. She turned around slowly.

"Who?" she whispered.

Keats smiled. Finally he had her attention.

"A real mini-Alex," he said, "growing up so fast. Looking more like you every day. Sounding more like you, too. Got quite a mouth on her."

"What are you talking about?" Alex demanded.

"Poor little girl," Keats sneered, "growing up without her mum around to protect her from strange men."

Alex stared at him and swallowed. _Molly._

"You are not fit to speak of my daughter" she whispered, her voice breaking a little with tears.

"You left as lot behind, didn't you, Alex?" he sneered, "when you made that choice. Got people over there who'll lay down their lives for you."

Alex swallowed and found herself shaking. She didn't know what Keats was talking about, but deep inside of her she had a feeling she was better off not knowing.

"I came here to give you a warning," she said, "I'm not here to listen to your stupid games. You are going to prison for a very long time, Keats. You make the most of your time in hospital. The bars are calling you. I'll make sure of that."

As she left the hospital room she felt deeply shaken, but at the same time she felt proud and strong. She'd seen it through to the end, delivered her message and let Keats know exactly what to expect. She wasn't going to let him get away with what he did to her, to the _other _her. It didn't matter what he tried to say or do, she would see this through to the end.

But there was a little worry in the back of her mind. His words about Molly had shaken her so much. Why bring her up now? It didn't make sense. She tried to push away the nightmare thoughts of Molly, all tied up, and told herself to ignore her overactive imagination. _Concentrate on what's real. Solid_. Like the bars that Keats would be staring through for eternity.

~xXx~

By the time the third visitor arrived the nurse was beginning to get tired of coming in and out of Keats's room to announce them.

"Another one," she said, a little annoyed.

Keats stared at the door, unsure who to expect this time, and watched as Simon entered the room. The look on his face could have made squirrels drop dead out of the trees.

Keats froze. It was only for a moment, but a terrible feeling grew inside of him, bringing flashbacks from the future. His expression became a twisted mix of hatred and horror as he stared on. He wanted to say something and to cut Simon in two with one remark but he couldn't quite bring himself to speak. Images of Robin's bedroom, a broken picture frame and a photo he wished he'd never seen came flooding back to him.

"So you're still alive, _bastard,_" Simon didn't try to hide his contempt. He stepped towards Keats. Somehow Keats had never realised how tall Simon was before. He swallowed hard as he looked up at him. "I've got a warning for you," Simon began, "stay away from Kim, or you'll be finding broken pencils shoved up your backside."

Keats's stare slowly became a glare. The initial shock was starting to fade now. He licked his lips and stared at Simon.

"That's not nice," he said in calm, measured tones, "you shouldn't talk to me that way. After all, we're practically family."

Simon stared back.

"Funny, I don't remember having a branch on my family tree full of horns and forked tails."

"Shame that wedding never had the chance to take place," Keats hissed, "mind you, I wouldn't be sitting on your side of the church."

"You wouldn't be sitting in a church at all," Simon told him, "you'd melt in a puddle on the floor as soon as you stepped through the doors." He watched Keats's expression carefully. He wasn't making a lot of sense. Had he started to lose the plot, even more so than before? He stepped a little closer. "I meant what I said, you go anywhere near Kim and you'll be sorry."

"Ahh yes, Kimberley," Keats smiled pleasantly, "what a good friend of yours she is. Have you asked her who she's been kissing lately?"

Simon's brow became covered in creases of confusion. Much more conversation with Keats and he was going to end up with deep wrinkles. Was he talking about Shaz? Because Kim had only just met her. Unless he was going doolally and thinking Kim was still under his spell?

"Well she's not kissing _you_ and you need to get that through your thick head," he snapped.

"Why not?" Keats tried to lean forward as much as the shackles would allow, "I'm her type, aren't I? Dark hair? Dark Eyes?"

"With an added penis? No, not her type."

"She doesn't seem to mind that any more."

"What are you even talking about?" Simon almost pulled his hair out with confusion. The last thing that had made sense was the nurse saying '_he's in that room'._ He shook his head as though to try to dispel the bewilderment and said, "Keats, I'd get used to being in here if I were you, because the way things are going you're going to end up in this place permanently, babbling to yourself in the corner."

"I can think of worse places to be," sighed Keats, "it's not all that bad. Food's better than I expected. And the bed baths are a highlight, of course."

"Should have known everything would come down to that level with you," Simon hissed.

"Something about uniforms, isn't there, Simon?" Keats raised an eyebrow, "of course, you'd know all about that. Is that what attracted you to Robin, hmm? The uniform?"

"I can think of a perfect uniform for you," said Simon, "it has arrows on it."

"I liked the uniform too," hissed Keats, "but, there are some things even I won't do."

Simon breathed deeply as he stared at the shackled Keats. He took a step back and shook his head slowly.

"I think you've flipped," he said.

"I haven't flipped," said Keats, "I've just had my eyes opened to a few things."

"Yeah, like the attractions of a padded cell," said Simon.

"I've seen things that would make your eyes spin in their sockets," Keats hissed.

"Your eyes will be spinning if you come anywhere near Kim," Simon warned him, "remember what I've said. You come near her and you'll be sorry."

"Somehow that doesn't sound like much of a threat coming from someone who resembles a stick-insect," Keats mocked, "wind blows too hard and you'd fall over. What's happened to you while I've been away, hmm? I've seen more meat on a supermodel. And I'm surprised you didn't trip over those bags under your eyes on the way in."

"Maybe I'd get more sleep if you took a long walk into the middle of the Thames," Simon snapped.

Keats shook his head a mocking smile across his face.

"Oh it's so funny to see!" he cried, "then difference between you!"

"_Now_ what are you on about?" Simon wished he'd never set foot in the hospital.

"One shrivelling, the other thriving," said Keats, "funny, isn't it? You lop down the sturdy oak and the little seedling starts to flourish in the sunlight while the once proud tree trunk slowly rots away to nothing."

"Keats, you're an environmental disaster in your own right," Simon snapped, "just stay away from Kim."

He turned on his heels and left the room before Keats could confuse and frustrate him further.

~xXx~

Walking through the door of Keats's hospital room was one of the hardest things Kim had ever had to do. Her eyes were dark and cast downward as she forced herself to make that final step from the corridor, into the room. She took a deep breath and waited for the anticipated comment, the expected insult, the put down that she felt sure was coming. Nothing came.

When finally she forced herself to look at him, she found herself a little shaken by what she saw. Chained to the bed and thin from his coma, she found a very different Keats to the one that Gene, Alex and Simon had found.

This was a Keats who had never, not in a million years, expected Kim to set foot through his doorway.

And while, in the first breath, he had been about to let forth a cutting remark at her expense a voice had whispered through his head.

While he drew himself together to say 'hello Kimberley', his head whispered, _hello, Kim._

It took him several moments to get his act together and by that time his words had far less impact than they had if he'd come straight out with them.

"Kimberley… I've been warned away from you."

Kim stared at him. She felt very small and scared, like a mouse trying to avoid being trodden on as it ran through the hallway. She swallowed and took a deep breath.

"You're fucking back," she whispered.

Keats started at her. This was the Kim he knew; the short, bleached hair, much less ink adorning her skin and no sign of the heavy, gothic make-up that she wore in 2011. But yet… but there was something different about her. There was something different to the Kim he'd last seen as he fled in 1995. He swallowed as he studied her appearance. There might not have been layers of black eyeliner but there was… was that glitter? Glitter on her eyelids, and on her cheeks. And pink lips…_ lip gloss? _And the hair… no longer unstyled and tousled, it stood up in spikes, topped with glittery gel. And then there was the top; the figure-hugging, glittery, silver top.

"Where have you gone, Kim?" Keats was shocked to hear his own voice speaking. He shook his head a little and scowled, a scowl aimed at himself, not at her. He cleared his throat and tried again, "Are you visiting a hospital patient or tryhing out for the tinfoil lookalike contest?

Kim took one step closer. Her eyes were fixed on his chains. He wasn't going anywhere.

"You did your best to ruin my life," she hissed, "I'm here to warn you that you're not getting another chance."

Keats gave a sigh.

"Do you not think that I have more important things on my mind right now?" he asked, "believe me, Kimberley, we certainly had… _fun._ But right now I only have to press this button by my finger and I have all the attractive young medical professionals that I should ever want running to my beck and call. So why don't you take your hedgehog-hair and your," he trailed off a little as his eyes focused on her body where the nightly dancing had taken away the weight she'd gained and added shape and definition to her form. She wasn't as skinny as her 2011 counterpart had been but it was still a shock to see her changes in his absence, "and your… spindly legs," he bluffed as his insults lost their momentum, "and allow me to enjoy a check-up in peace, hmm?"

"I'd have pulled the plug on your life support myself if I'd known you were going to open your eyes again," Kim told him, ignoring his comments.

"You may as well pull the plug on your own with your _Night Of The Living Dead_ look," Keats sneered.

Kim frowned and took a step backward. Now she was supposed to be a zombie?

"I think that coma had done your head in," she said.

"On the contrary," Keats smiled, "I've been on a pleasant holiday. Lovely company. So nice to catch up with old friends," his features twisted, "or old lovers."

"Why? Had a wet dream while you were out cold, did you?" Kim found herself plunging into childish insults but they felt good. It certainly felt better than living under the shadow of fear.

Keats stared at her, his dark eyes fixed upon her with a glare and every intention of letting forth another nasty remark but as he opened his mouth so a whisper inside of his mind chocked him. He froze, his lips twitching, reaching for a sentence or two, but nothing came, nothing acceptable anyway. He swallowed. She was staring and waiting. Why couldn't he speak?

Suddenly images flashed in front of his eyes, things he hadn't wanted to see. He flinched and pulled his head sharply backwards as though the memory gave him physical pain. The sight made Kim step backwards again. She shuddered as he seemed to groan and gasp with horror, at the mercy of things he would rather never have known until finally a very different look came upon him. Humanity ran through his eyes as he looked at her and whispered,

"I really thought that I was special."

Kim's face twisted into confusion.

"_What?"_ she whispered.

"I thought," his voice cracked, "that it was just me."

"W-what are you taking about?" Kim shuffled nervously to the door and Keats's eyes began to grow with malevolence again.

"But I guess not, hmm?" his tone was dark again, the emotion disappearing from his voice, "you'll stick your tongue down the throat of anything with a pulse."

Kim's mouth fell open in shock.

"Look who's talking!" she cried. Her eyes flashed with anger as she spat, "you might have woken up but you've got nothing to look forward to but a life chained to your bedpost." She literally spat on the floor, then added, "which you already did to me once, so it's a fitting conclusion to your life."

With that she turned and marched from the room, keeping her head held high. She had faced the greatest demon of them all and no longer would he hold the power over her that he had since her arrival to this world. She simply wouldn't let him, and that determination counted for a great deal.

~xXx~

Keats hated himself for the way Kim's visit affected him. He hated himself through and through. No one had ever shaken him so strongly. He thought about the way he was in 2011, waking in a mortal body had strangely made him even less humanised than before, and yet now he was back in his own body in 1996 there were elements of humanity that were trying to burst through. He shuddered at the idea of it and gave a throaty cry at himself as a warning to shut that out as quickly as possible.

He breathed deeply, in and out, trying to focus. Kim had thrown him off his stride. He wasn't going to let that happen again. The footsteps that came closer to the doorway surprised him – surely he was all out of visitors for one day? To his horror, he found the second coming of Gene Hunt, this time with a large brown bag in his possession.

"You were right, Jimbo," his face was angry and dark as he paced towards the bed, "I did forget the grapes." He sat down in front of Keats and stared at him, not once taking his eyes from him as he opened the bag and pulled out a small, green item. He held it out for a moment leaving Keats to wonder if Gene was about to hand-feed him but instead he threw it into the air and caught it in his mouth. He chewed it in silence for a moment before picking a second grape out the bag and holding it between his thumb and forefinger. "See this grape?"

Keats gave a sigh. He wasn't sure where this was going.

"Yes," he said.

"Represents your bollocks," said Gene, "similar size, I'd reckon. Maybe a bit bigger." He looked from the grape back to Keats. "This is what's going to happen if you come anywhere near my team again." He crushed the grape quickly between his fingers, juice spraying Keats in the eye and making him shriek and swear. Gene let the crushed fruit drop to the floor, then reached inside his coat and pulled out a bundle of papers. "See these?" he asked, "restraining orders. One for Alex, one for Simon and one for Stringer. Oh," he selected one from the top of the pile. "And look at this one. Got my name on it." He dropped the papers on Keats's bed. "Come within a mile of any of us and you're to find out what it's like to be a grape." He got to his feet. "Must be going, Jimbo. Don't want to get you in trouble. Breaking the terms of your restraining order. Besides, I've got more important things to spend my time doing."

Keats stared at him. His eyes almost bore a hole in Gene.

"What about my grapes?" he hissed.

Gene hesitated. Then he took the bunch from the bag and scrunched up the brown paper.

"Almost forgot about those," he said, jamming the bunch into Keats's mouth. He turned around and left as he hearts him coughing and splattering, spitting out the grapes and trying to clear his mouth. At the doorway Gene glanced behind him one last time. "Oh, and I had a word with the hospital staff too. Just something to make your stay a little less pleasant for you." He turned and left, an angry and confused Keats shouting insults after him as he went.

Who the bloody hell did Gene Hunt think he was? Liker a few bits of paper were going to stop him. Like a few sets of _handcuffs_ were going to stop him. Gene would see. They'd _all_ see. As soon as Keats gathered his strength and worked out how to deal with what he'd learnt on the other side of the line, he'd be out of there.

"Mister Keats?"

A very deep, booming voice came from the doorway and Keats looked up to see an extremely large man standing there. He must have been at least six-foot-nine tall, and about seven feet wide. He had a big bald spot on top of his head, a fuzzy ginger beard, a big beer gut hanging over the top of his trousers and extremely grubby fingernails. He reached around and scratched his backside, then rolled up his sleeves to reveal an '_I Love Trucking'_ tattoo on one arm and a picture of a juggernaut on the other.

Keats gulped.

"Who are you?" he squeaked.

The man stepped towards him brandishing a bowl of soapy water.

"I'm Geoff," he boomed, "and it's time for your bed bath."

Keats closed his eyes and swallowed hard. That hospital exit might be coming faster than he had expected.


	25. Chapter 24: The Art Of Wearing Gateaux

**Chapter 24**

Neither Gene nor Alex nor Simon nor Kim told anyone else that they'd been to see Keats that day. It seemed like a private matter to each of them, a personal journey each had to make and after they'd confronted him and made little sense of anything he'd said they had found that they'd laid just a few of their demons to rest. The fact that they'd all seen his handcuffs and the guards on the door made them feel just a smidgen safer and the fact that he appeared to be talking gibberish made them feel as though he'd lost a little of his bite.

Gene noticed the brightness in Alex's expression as they drove back to the flat that night.

"You look like you just got yerself a Blue Peter badge," he commented.

Alex rolled her eyes.

"Please, Gene, like we're ever going to get one after what happened with the garden," she reminded him.

Gene nodded slowly. She had a point. Nevertheless she was looking a little brighter than he'd seen her for a few days. He found himself sneaking looks at her every few minutes as he drove along. It reached the point where his eyes were more on Alex than on the road. When he almost ran over an old lady with a blue rinse Alex finally asked,

"Alright, this isn't standard Gene Hunt driving. You were in serious danger of putting a dent in your car then. What's the matter?"

Gene snuck another glance at her.

"Got some colour in your cheeks tonight, Bols," he said.

Alex wasn't sure what he meant. She didn't think she'd been especially pale. She frowned curiously and asked,

"As opposed to when I'm doing my ghost impression?"

Gene tried to turn his attention back to the road but he noticed tempting cleavage to add to the glowing complexion.

"You've got it all going on tonight," he said.

Alex frowned. He was making about as much sense as Keats had earlier.

"How much scotch did you have before we left?" she asked, "should you be driving?"

"I won't be later," said Gene, "tonight: me, you, meal out and a bottle of wine in bed."

Alex raised an eyebrow. They hadn't been for a meal out in a very long time.

"Where are we going? She asked.

"Trying that new place on the main street," said Gene, "French I think. Everyone in there's got a big bushy thing under their nose and there are pictures of the Eiffel Tower in the window. Yer clue's right there really."

Alex smiled to herself as she watched the world going by outside of the window. From a day of difficult beginnings it had turned into quite a winner. Simon and Kim had made up so the sofa would no longer be occupied or under threat from the tearing of leather courtesy of piercings, she'd faced Keats and told him in no uncertain terms what to expect and now a special evening stretched out ahead of them. She could certainly get used to this happy existence.

~xXx~

The music was a little cheesy and certainly did nothing to allay European stereotypes. Neither did the onions and the garlic hanging over every picture frame, although Alex couldn't be sure if that was there to signify the French cuisine or whether there might be a vampire or two appearing for dinner. Other than that, the ambience of the place seemed lovely and from what she had seen of other people's plates the food would be well and truly worth waiting for. She was so hungry she could quite happily have eaten the large marzipan _Arc De Triomphe_ that stood beside the door, despite neither liking marzipan nor the look of the man who was caressing it and going overboard about what a wonderful piece of art it was.

A rather stiff-looking waiter showed them to their seats and pelted them with menus. Alex wasn't sure that this was a very efficient way to run a restaurant but her stomach's desire for food spoke loudly over her common sense that was telling her to complain to the manager about getting a menu square in the head.

Aside from that little incident the evening moved along beautifully; good food and wine, the pleasure of each other's company… Alex hadn't felt so peaceful and happy since… well, since the day she bumped into Shaz and their lives were turned upside down yet again.

"So," Gene began, casting one eye on Alex. she was aware that Gene had spent a very long time cutting the same piece of meat before he started his sentence. He looked a little awkward and concentrated in his food rather than Alex's eyes as he continued, "This engagement."

Alex froze, her fork halfway to her mouth. She stared at Gene, her mouth half-open and waiting to receive the food. There was a clang and she realised a moment too late that she'd let go of her fork. Scrambling around, she picked it up, coughed awkwardly and brushed her hair from her glowing cheeks.

"Uh, yes?" she asked.

Gene cleared his throat.

"How long do these things usually go on for then?"he asked, "it's just, you've 'ad that ring on yer finger since November and now April's half gone and you haven't bought any lingerie for the wedding night yet."

Alex found herself blushing a shade she never thought possible. In truth, she wasn't the easiest person to make blush, but anything that brought her attention to the nature of their relationship made her feel somewhat hot in the face. She took a sip of water, fanned herself discretely with her napkin and said,

"Well, I've been waiting for some, uh… guidance. From you. About when I should start planning for that… _particular_… event."

Gene's proposal had come at a very strange time both for them and the world. In the aftermath of Alex fading out and returning a moment later, Gene finally came to terms with what he would be losing and made the difficult step of proposing. But the next day a bullet to the head took Gene's Alex away and replaced her with_ Alex Circa 1981. _Ever since the right Alex had found her way home Gene and Alex had been too busy making the most of every day to take a closer look at the bigger picture or the future, especially since Alex had seemed to have made a choice. It felt as though the time ahead of them was endless.

But Gene had seen that look in her eye again. There were things bleeding through from 2011, moments where she felt strange or 'off' and he'd seen her hand moving to that scar. The last time that happened she'd flickered more than analogue cable TV.

"Wasn't sure if you still wanted me to put another ring on yer hand," Gene said a little gruffly, "besides, way we've been at it, there's no way you can wear white!"

"Gene!" Alex cried, her blush growing darker. She hid slightly behind her wine glass and took a couple of mouthfuls. When she calmed down a little she looked at Gene seriously and said,

"Of course I do. What made you think any differently?"

Gene looked down and exhaled loudly. He pushed some food around his plate, no longer feeling hungry.

"Molly's haunting yer dreams again," he said.

Alex turned slightly cold. Keats's chilling words came back to her and she closed her eyes for a moment. She had been doing a good job of blocking them out, but now she wondered if they held any truth. She couldn't imagine any way that Keats could have been in contact with Molly but the coincidence seemed too great.

"Gene," she began, "dreaming of Molly just means that I'm dreaming of Molly. It doesn't mean I'm going to wake up. It doesn't mean I'm going back to two thousand and eleven. It means… it means she's my daughter and I will _never_ forget that. I will never stop loving her. And I'll never stop feeling guilty for," she found her eyes cast downward as she stalled mid-sentence. She wasn't sure she could finish her thought.

"Go on," Gene prompted.

Alex breathed deeply.

"I'll never stop feeling guilty," she whispered, "that I have chosen to stay with you. Not with her." She looked him in the eye. "I chose _you,_ Gene. And you know that. I'm not a pendulum you know." She noticed his blank expression "I'm not swinging back and forth. I'm here for the duration, Gene. Fenchurch East needs me. You need me."

"Bollocks, I need you to warm, me up in bed, that's all," Gene lied into his glass as he downed most of it in one go.

Alex had seen through that kind of line too many times before.

"But," she began, "if you want this engagement to be a," she paused, "a_ two ring _rather than a _one ring_ affair, then you need to tell me so. Because I won't assume anything. Doesn't pay to in this world."

Gene stared at her over the table and lifted the bottle of wine. He poured a little more for each of them and lifted his glass.

"You gonna toast then?" he asked.

"To what?" Alex frowned.

Gene waited until she lifted her glass and then said,

"To wedding night lingerie. I hear autumn's a good time for that."

Alex raised an eyebrow.

"Is it really?" she asked, the corner of her mouth twitching into a smile.

Gene pressed his glass against hers and nodded.

"You'd better get a bloody good garter, Drakey." He told her.

Alex's smile became a little broader.

"I'll see what I can do," she said.

In the moments that followed they said little to each other, sneaking looks and drinking wine, trying to eat while their mouths fought stupid grins. As they came to the end of their main course the next surprise of the evening arrived. Gene had no sooner pushed his plate away and leaned back in his chair than he seat bolt upright again and declared,

"Bloody hell, is Stringer dressed for a funeral or something?"

"What?"

Alex tried to follow his line of sight and to her surprise she saw Kim and Shaz walking demurely through the restaurant. In a turnaround from the jazzy clubbing gear that the two were usually seen in together they were both wearing smart dresses, dressed up to the nines, looking as though they were on the most formal of dates.

"You think there's nothing to take the piss out of and then fate presents a big bloody opportunity," Gene said happily, wiping his mouth on his napkin and getting to his feet.

"Oh Gene, no, leave them alone," Alex tried to stop him, "leave them alone, they're just out for a quiet evening!" but Gene had already made his way across to their table. Alex put her head in her hands and sighed deeply. What was he trying to be, the obligatory embarrassing uncle who turns up at parties? But a few moments later Gene stomped back to the table with a face like thunder.

"That's the last time I speak to Metal Mickey outside the office," he mumbled.

Alex hesitated.

"What did she do?" she asked.

"Pointed out the gates of the palace were open," Gene mumbled, pulling up his zip. Despite her best attempts to keep a straight face Alex couldn't stop herself from letting out a giggle and had to put her hand over her mouth to stop it from becoming a gaffaw. The stiff-looking waiter chose that precise moment to come along and ask for their dessert orders. Whilst still trying to keep her laughter under control Alex decided,

"I think 'll have a slice of the gateaux, please."

Gene barely glanced at the menu.

"I'll have one too."

"You'll have two?" asked the waiter.

"No! _One!"_ cried Gene as the stiff man walked away. Gene gave a grumble and muttered a few things under his breath before mumbling about needing to take a leak and stomping off to the bathroom.

Alex took the opportunity to apologise to the two girls for Gene's attempted interruption and walked slowly to their table.

"Oh dear," she sighed, "Kim, Shaz, I'm _so_ sorry…"

"Don't worry about it, Ma'am," Kim began, "he didn't stop by for long."

"So I saw," said Alex, "good work on that, by the way. Getting rid of the Guv in a social situation is something very few members of CID have ever achieved."

Kim smiled and slowly got to her feet.

"Sorry but I just need to go for a piss… I mean, visit the bathroom," she tried to be a little more ladylike in their fancy surroundings, "order for me, Shaz? You know what I want."

"I know what_ I_ want," Shaz commented cheekily, a glint in her eye. She realised Alex was still there and coughed, embarrassed. She drank a little water and tried to cover up for her slip. "Uh, _the soup._ That's what I want."

Alex felt herself blushing again. Gene's earlier comments had set her off into _easily-embarrassed mode_. She took a step back and held up her hands.

"None of my business," she said with a smile and turned to head back to her table, but Shaz called her back.

"Wait…" she watched as Alex turned around, "can I ask you something?"

Alex hesitated. She glanced back at the table where Gene had returned from the bathroom.

"Uh… if it's quick," she said, "there's gateaux on the way."

"It's just Kim said you were the best person to ask," said Shaz, "about getting a transfer."

Alex hesitated. Surely Shaz didn't mean what she thought she meant?

"You… want to transfer?" she asked.

Shaz looked a little awkward. She had that sweet smile that Alex remembered so well, the kind of smile that made you want to protect her from the harsh reality of the world.

"I'm not very happy at my station, you see," she said quietly, "my sergeant isn't a very nice man. His head is stuck up his backside and he treats us like bits of rubbish he's found on the floor. We never seem to get anywhere, nothing ever gets done. I only ever wanted to make a difference."

Alex felt her mouth go dry. Her pulse went up as her nerves increased.

"I'm… sorry, Shaz," she began, "there are no openings in CID."

"I just meant uniform," said Shaz.

"I don't really know anything about uniform," Alex felt flustered.

"Could you find out for me?" Shaz pressed, "everyone in your station seems so much happier. I just want to do a good job. I'm a hard worker and I want to make a difference."

Alex took a deep breath. Visions played through her mind of Shaz, the young girl on the beat, the screwdriver that plunged into her guts and the man who took her life without mercy. How long did she have left? Weeks? Months? Whatever it was, it would never be enough. Not for a bright soul like Shaz. _Oh god,_ she could feel tears threatening to well. She swallowed them back and said quietly,

"Maybe you should stay where you are for the time being."

Shaz stared at her. She couldn't think of any reason why Alex would say that after she'd explained the situation.

"W-why?" she asked.

Alex took a deep breath,

"You know… working at the same station as someone you're involved with," she felt herself turning red again, "it's not a good idea."

Shaz stared at here, aghast.

"What are you talking about?"

"If you and Kim broke up, imagine how you'd feel, running into each other all the time?" Alex asked. "And even so, it's not very professional. Relationships with work colleagues. It can lead to all sorts of difficulties."

Shaz's expression changed. It changed to one that Alex had only seen rarely but it was the kind of look that, when given, was never forgotten.

"Really?" she challenged, "you seem to be managing alright." her gaze moved beyond Alex to Gene at the table, and Alex felt herself growing more uncomfortable by the second.

"We've had our struggles," Alex wasn't completely lying as she spoke, "it's not easy. Especially for someone so young."

"I'm not that young," Shaz frowned.

"You both have a lot to learn."

"I'm _not_ that _young_."

Alex knew she was only making it worse. She took a step backwards and said quietly,

"I'm sorry, Shaz. I'm sorry I couldn't help you."

"Yeah. Thanks for nothing," Shaz said crossly as Kim came back from the toilets. Alex made a hasty retreat to Gene at the table. She glanced to one side and saw a pretty heated conversation between Shaz and Kim which led to a finger being pointed over in her direction several times and ended up with Kim and Shaz collecting their coats and leaving.

"All not well on the KD Lang table?" Gene asked.

Alex felt her breath become staggered as tears threatened to fall.

"I don't think I'll be seeing Shaz again," she whispered.

Gene stared at her.

"What happened, Drake?"

Alex looked at him darkly.

"She wanted to transfer to Fenchurch East," she whispered.

Gene hesitated.

"And what did you say."

Alex looked down.

"Would I be looking like this if I told her yes?" she whispered.

Gene closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. He knew that Alex felt awful about what she'd done to Shaz but he felt a sense of relief. If the confrontation led to Alex keeping her distance from Shaz then that was possibly the best thing that could happen. He knew Alex wouldn't see it like that though and reached across the table for her hand.

"You want to go, Bols?" he asked.

Alex shook her head slowly.

"The gateaux's on its way," she whispered.

She'd barely spoken before a waiter approached the table with three plates.

"One slice of gateaux for you madam," he said, "and two for you, Sir."

He placed two plates down in front of Gene.

Gene stared at them. Then he stared at the waiter. _Then_, he cracked his knuckles.

"I think someone has got frogs legs stuck in their ears!" Gene boomed, getting to his feet where he embarked upon chasing the rather scared waiter around the restaurant.

By the time they left Gene was wearing two slices of gateaux on his shirt, they'd been permanently banned from the place and Alex realised that her mistake was to start feeling that it had been a good day.

_No good can ever come of that,_ she reminded herself with a very deep sigh.


	26. Chapter 25: The Not Unexpected Fallout

**Chapter 25**

Alex walked through the corridor as a big bag of mixed emotions the following morning. The previous day and night had brought a multitude of matters to the surface, from the highest highs to the very darkest lows. She wasn't sure whether to be on top of the world from the thought of progressing toward an actual wedding or to feel like the scum of the earth for ruining Shaz and Kim's evening. Then there was the whole gateaux incident. It had taken two hours to remove all traces of the damn thing from Gene's hair and body. Plus the bill for damage to the marzipan Arc de Triomphe had arrived that morning. She was sure they shouldn't have to take the blame for that, just because the stupid waiter fell into it head-first when Gene made a lunge for his scrawny neck.

"Morning," she smiled as she passed Simon but Simon just carried on walking. He didn't even glance at her. Her spirits sank immediately. She supposed Kim had told Simon about what happened the night before and now she was persona non grata. She didn't think that was particularly fair, especially since Shaz wasn't exactly Simon's favourite person.

She tried to make her expression neutral to hide her deep upset at his reaction. She liked to pretend she was stronger than she often felt. She was good at wearing a mask and hiding her sensitivities. In their world it came with the territory. Didn't do to be shedding a tear over every _deady_ that passed through.

"Thanks a lot, ma'am. Thanks a bloody bunch."

Alex glanced around, her heart almost stopping from the tone of Kim's voice. She hadn't heard her approaching from behind. The look on the girl's face was dark and distraught, as though Alex had just shot her favourite animal.

"Kim," she breathed.

"She came to you for advice!" Kim wasn't good at restraining her temper when it flared. Alex had never been on the receiving end of it before and from her first taste she never wished to be again. "She'd bloody miserable in her job and all she wanted was to talk about whether she could transfer here where she'd be happier!"

"And that's what we did," Alex tried to stay calm, "we talked about it and I advised her against it."

"Because working in the same station as your partner causes problems?" cried Kim, "bloody hypocrite!"

"It's different with Gene and me," Alex tried to explain but Kim wasn't finished.

"Robin was here _three days_ and he got drafted into CID! You didn't mind him working with Simon!"

"He had information about a case!" Alex protested.

"Shaz wouldn't even be working with us," Kim carried on, "she'd be down in uniform – our paths would barely cross and even if they did would that be so bad?"

Alex stared at Kim. The girl's cheeks were flushed with anger and she'd never seen her so hurt of upset. She bit her lip and rocked back on her shoes, desperately wishing that she could explain things to Kim, but she had no option there. Some things she just couldn't say.

"Kim, I know you don't understand it now but in time…" she began.

"In time _what?"_ cried Kim, "Shaz hates her job so much that she leaves? Maybe never finds another passion in life? She wants to be a copper but she wants to do it in a station where she'll actually make a difference, and I told her that station was Fenchurch East. What other option does she have?"

"I know right now you must feel like Shaz is the most important thing in your life but you need to remember what you're here for," Alex tried to explain, "you have your own job to do and Shaz won't be here forever."

The words slipped out before Alex could stop them and Kim's wide eyed look brought a boulder of anxiety to her stomach.

"What?" she whispered. She watched Alex carefully as she tried to speak but couldn't manage to think of a single word to say. "You… are you saying that Shaz is going to get fed up with me and leave me?"

That wasn't what Alex meant at all.

"_No!"_

"I'm so unlikable that she's going to find someone prettier and sweeter and more intelligent and I'm going to be yesterday's news?"

"No, Kim, that's not what I meant."

"But that's what you said."

"No!" Alex cried, "I meant –" she froze. She couldn't tell her what she _did_ mean. She swallowed and stared at her, wishing she could make the whole situation go away. Eventually Kim took a couple of steps backwards, shaking her head.

"I respected you, Ma'am," she said, sounding a little tearful, "I thought you really cared. I really looked up to you. Now I see you're just like everyone else. You don't really care at all, do you?"

Alex bit her lip, her chest growing tight with emotion.

"No, no, that's not true," she said quietly but it was too late as Kim turned around and began to slowly walk away. Alex felt as though she couldn't breathe. Ever since she'd bumped into Shaz by chance it seemed she'd been in conflict with someone about her – Gene, Kim, Simon – she was in the worst position she'd ever been in, and that included the time Gene wanted to do it round the back of the station, between the bike shed and the caretaker's lock up.

She felt her head hang low as she slowly walked to her office and closed the door. She took several deep breaths to try to calm herself down but it didn't help. Now what was she supposed to do? She'd done the right thing for her and Gene but now Simon and Kim were against her. If she'd helped Shaz to transfer then Gene would have been angry and anything could have happened to the world.

She paced up and down in the small office for what felt like an eternity. When she became tired of taking the same three steps and turning around she opened the door and began a slow, miserable walk to CID. She peered around nervously as she arrived but there was no sign of Kim. She breathed a sigh of relief and made her way to Gene's door.

He was surprised to see her come in as she opened the door nervously.

"A sight for sore eyes you are, Bols," he said, "I've spent the last half hour trying to get the last bits of gateaux out me ears. "

Alex gagged a little at the thought. No wonder he'd misheard her several times the night before. She looked at him seriously.

"Kim hates me," she said.

Gene gave a deep sigh. He had a feeling all would not be well that day.

"So you've seen her then?" he asked.

Alex nodded.

"Accosted me in the corridor and told me off like a bloody headteacher giving her pupils a severe talking to."

"You know this would happen," Gene reminded her.

"Doesn't make it any easier though," Alex said quietly.

Gene stared at her.

"No," he exhaled eventually, "it doesn't."

"Do you think I should try talking to her again?" she asked.

"You'll have a job," said Gene, "she's reverted back to her tried and tested methods. Nicked me scotch and gone off to get something pierced."

Alex sighed and sank into a chair.

"Bollocks," she declared.

Gene leaned across the desk and looked at her seriously.

"Give her some time to cool off, Lady B. I think that's what them 'oles do for her. Ventilation. Let her stick some more metal in 'er face, she'll be back tomorrow and then you can talk to her again. But don't expect miracles. I've seen Stringer hold a grudge. Twat in the copier room tripped her over once, she still shuts his head in the copier every time she goes in there."

Alex cringed. This really didn't sound good.

"What a nightmare," she whispered. Gene fished his flask from his pocket and offered it to her but she pushed it away. "I couldn't," she shook her head, "nerves are turning my stomach. I've got butterflies the size of pigeons."

Gene sighed and took a swig himself. He tucked the flask away and leaned forward again.

"Bolly," he said, "you did the right thing and you know it. One day Metal Mickey will understand why you did it. Shame she'll ever have to but she will. Until then," he sighed, "you've just got to keep yer head up."

"Like we always do?" Alex asked a little despondently.

It had been a long time since she'd let the nature of their world get to her – really get to her – but now she was finding it harder to hold herself together. She hoped she'd find the strength to get her head back on track because she didn't dare fall apart in case the world started doing the same.


	27. Chapter 26: The Emergency Exit

**Chapter 26**

Alex tortured herself all through the day and all through the night, going over and over the conversations in her mind. Could she have handled Shaz any differently? Could she have explained things better to Kim? But the more she went round in circles the fewer alternatives her mind presented her. Quite simply, she was in a lose-lose situation and she couldn't imagine how she was ever going to get herself out of it.

She felt as though she was being dragged to the gallows as she arrived in CID the next day. She made her way to Kim's desk and found it empty.

"Damn," she whispered.

Gene followed on behind her.

"Stringer absent presumed missing?" he asked.

"It's not funny, Gene, I really need to talk to her," Alex's stomach was in knots again. She'd felt sick since the moment she woke up. There was little worse than having someone angry at her, especially when she couldn't even explain herself properly. What was worse was that she had started to realise that Kim's anger with her would increase further whenever Shaz met her untimely end and Kim realised why Alex had been acting so strangely. Of course she couldn't tell her - but would Kim understand that?

"As long as she doesn't take another bottle of me scotch I'm sure everything will be alright," Gene sighed.

Alex glanced across the contents of Kim's desk. She hadn't really looked at it before. There was a horrible pang of guilt as she saw a photograph of here with Shaz. Obviously they were serious enough that Kim was happy to put a photo on her desk. She sighed and lifted up a piece of paper which she examined a little more closely.

"Who's this?" she asked.

Gene glanced over her shoulder.

"That's our firestarter," he said, "latest impression _of_, anyway. Got a better photofit artist now. This one at least looks human." He studied the strange expression on Alex's face. "Why? D'you know 'im?"

Alex studied the photofit. There was a slight familiarity about it but nothing she could really commit to.

"I don't know," she said with a sigh, "I might do some looking into this. Can I take a copy?"

"Help yourself," said Gene.

"Thanks," Alex said quietly. Before she could make her way to the copier room they heard Gene's phone ringing and with a grunt he marched to his office to answer it. Alex couldn't explain why she felt the need to stay back and see who was on the line. She couldn't explain why she felt the need to wait and see what the call was about. But somewhere inside her she just had a strange feeling. A dark feeling that deepened as she watched Gene's expression. By the time he hung up and left his office he looked positively haunted. He stared at Alex.

"Not the call I wanted to get today," he said.

Alex looked at him anxiously.

"What is it?" she asked quietly, "another arson attack?"

"That would have been a flaming day out compared to this," Gene said grimly, "Keats seems to have discharged himself. From hospital and existence."

From her head down to her toes, Alex turned stony cold. She swallowed and felt a shudder travel through her body. She wouldn't have been surprised if her face turned the colour of snow.

"What's happened?" she whispered, her voice as weak as her legs felt suddenly.

"No one knows," Gene told her.

"Someone must know," Alex tried to speak a little louder but she couldn't seem to manage it, "there were men on the doors… his arms and legs were chained to the bed."

"And no one let him out or saw him leave," Gene told her, "Bolly –" he tried to put his hands on her shoulders but her disturbance at the news made her take a step back. Even Gene's touch wouldn't help her now. "Bols, listen. No one saw or heard a bloody thing. He didn't leave through the door, not through the window and not through the shower grate."

"It's not possible," Alex whispered, denying the voice deep down that reminded her of his timely vanishing from handcuffs at Fenchurch West or the rooftop dive that led him to vanish into thin air. She shuddered again, her body icy-cold.

"Going to the hospital," Gene told her, "are you coming?"

Alex found herself torn between wanting to go to see for herself whether threw as any logical way he could have escaped or whether he really had pulled off the best disappearing act in history, or staying well away, running home and hiding under her duvet. The thought of going to the hospital now that he had escaped his chains terrified her. But her emotions were already going haywire so she supposed adding terror to the guilt, sadness and confusion wouldn't be too much of a change.

Finally she nodded.

"I'm coming," she said quietly.

~xXx~

"Oh dear," The nurse gave a hefty sigh, "Geoff will be so disappointed. He'd just been given permission to take over Mister Keats's bedpan duties."

Alex glanced at Gene.

"So now I can understand why Keats chose this particular time to make a getaway," he said.

Gene gave a grumble and a sigh. He supposed the Geoff thing might have been a step too far. But it was a fine line to tread – keeping Keats in one place for longer or forcing him to flee but knowing he had two days of Geoff-themed bed-baths.

"We'll need yer CCTV footage," he said.

"You'll have to speak to security about that," the nurse said apologetically.

"You were on duty this morning, when he disappeared?" Alex asked her.

The nurse nodded.

"I was."

"Did you notice anything strange at all? Anything unusual about his behaviour?"

The nurse frowned.

"DCI Drake, in the three or four days that he was awake I hadn't noticed anything _normal_ about his behaviour."

"Florence Nightingale's got a point," Gene commented. He scratched his head and walked slowly around the bed, examining each of the chains in turn. All were intact, there was no sign that they had been tampered with. It was almost as though he literally vanished into thin air. It made no sense to him. No one else could do that! If Keats could do it then why the bloody hell couldn't Gene? He almost wished he had that skill. It would be great for practical jokes, scaring idiots and getting out of really boring meetings. "Think I'd better talk to the Easter Island lookalikes on the door," he said, indicating the two uniformed officers who were blubbering about their failure to keep Keats secure. He looked at Alex who seemed rather pale. Her face looked haunted and her eyes were dark. "Take yourself home, Bols."

Alex glanced up.

"What?" she asked quietly.

"Looking like that they're going to admit yer," Gene warned her, "you're like you've got a terminal case of pasty face."

"I'm fine, Gene, I'd rather be here," Alex said quietly.

"You're not," Gene stared at her. His expression was stern and different to his usual concern. He meant business. "Haven't seen you looking like this since someone adjusted the tuning and you faded right out."

"Listen to me," Alex began, hissing her reply to avoid the nurse overhearing, "I don't feel anything like that, Gene. Really, I don't. I'm not fading in and out and I'm not waking up _out there._ I'm fed up and scared, and really tired. But two thousand and eleven is _not_ calling." She hung her head slowly. "And I'm not going home alone. Not with him out there."

Gene breathed deeply and studied her expression. She was serious. He knew that there would be an element of guilt on her face if she was feeling the way she had before and tried to hide it from him. The pressures of events from recent days with Shaz and with Keats were dragging her down. Maybe sending her home really would do more harm than good, he wondered. Was it worth taking the risk of Keats paying an unexpected visit to the flat, just for the same of Alex getting some sleep? He realised that he had to keep a closer eye on her than usual. Which, he realised, she probably wasn't going to like. But she didn't have a say in the matter.

"Alright," he said, "you take Easter Island Lookalike One, and I'll take Easter Island Lookalike Two. We'll dry their tears, find out what happened with Pencil Neck and spread the word that some twat in purple pyjamas is on the loose."

Alex nodded slowly, relieved that Gene's well-meaning intentions hadn't seen her being sent off alone. It had been a dark few days and with the knowledge that Keats was on the loose it looked like the light at the end of the tunnel was slowly going out. She didn't think she could possibly feel any worse. This was her lowest point since her early days in Gene's world. The one difference was that this time she and Gene were on the same side rather than constantly battling against each other. He'd always been her constant but he was far more than that now, and that was the strength that would get her through.

Nevertheless, inside she felt as though she was about to crumble, like any moment the stars could be out in force. She clung tightly to the hope that she had left. No matter what he'd tried, Keats had never succeeded before and they weren't about to let him steal the world from beneath their feet now.

_In fact,_ Alex told herself, _I'm going to pull the welcome mat so hard from beneath him that he'll still have the bruises on his backside this time next year._


	28. Chapter 27: The Truth Will Out

**Chapter 27**

"Guv, he saw nothing," Alex sighed, shaking her head, "nothing at all. They were outside the whole time, no one went in and no one came out. There was no unusual noises, no rattling of chains, no one opening the window, just peace and quiet and the sound of the television."

"Well no wonder he buggered off then," said Gene, "there's only so much of Richard and Judy anyone can stand."

"How about yours?" Alex asked.

Gene stared at the blubbering cop.

"Same," he sighed, "saw nothing, heard nothing."

"How is that possible?" Alex demanded, "how is he doing this? He's done this before."

"Bols, if I knew that I'd perfect the trick and start a new career in show business," said Gene.

Alex put her hand to her head as it started to thump. Keats was giving her a migraine.

"Can he do this at will?" she asked, "can it happen any time?"

"I wish he knew what he did to know how he did it," said Gene, "it's not like he vanishes into thin air every time we get near him. It's only when he's…" he paused, _"trapped."_

Alex sighed.

"It's a good thing Simon's not here," she said, "he'd definitely be comparing this to The X Files."

Gene looked at Alex.

"We need to tell 'im, you know," he said, "Stringer too."

"I know," Alex said quietly, "but what if Kim's still AWOL?"

"Check the piercing place and see if there's someone with half a bottle of scotch in there," Gene suggested.

Alex leaned back against the wall. She felt strange and unnerved.

"Where is he now?" she whispered,

"I'll tell you where he is," sighed Gene, "he's either back in Fenchurch West, sitting at his desk like nothing ever happened or he's in that bloody flat of his, peeling grapes and watching Neighbours."

"We need to speak to the Super," said Alex.

Gene nodded.

"For all the good it will do," he said, "doesn't seem to be any caging this one. He'll find a way out, again. Just like he always does."

Alex hadn't seen Gene looking so despondent before. She looked at him seriously.

"We will find a way, Gene," she said, "we'll find a way in the end. We'll get rid of him, get him out of our lives. I don't know how, but we will."

Gene wished he could believe that but he'd made that same promise too many times without it coming to fruition. Eventually he started to walk slowly to the door.

"We'll go back to the station," he said, "you find Shoebury, brief him on the latest. I'll talk to the Super."

"Do we need to take the Easter Island heads back with us?" Alex asked.

Gene gave a snort.

"No bloody way," he said, "I'm not letting them blub all over me car."

~xXx~

Alex felt nervous as she walked to Simon's office. After he'd blanked her earlier that day she feared more cold shoulder treatment. But the severity of the situation meant that he was just going to have to man-up and talk to her.

Her worries were in vain, however, as when she got to his office she found only Lindsay in there.

"Oh," she said in surprise, "Is Simon here?"

Lindsay looked up.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said, "there was a copycat crime he had to attend to."

"A copycat crime?" Alex repeated.

Lindsay nodded.

"Since yesterday's arrest a whole bunch of new computer shaggers have been at it," she said, "He's gone to arrest some guy with his dingle trapped in a printer down in Currys."

"Damn," Alex sighed. Simon would have to wait until later, she supposed. She made her eay back to CID and found Gene pacing up and down in his office.

"No sign of Simon," she said apologetically, "he's on a… delicate case."

"Super's no bloody help," Gene said crossly, "'aving words with Fenchurch West is going to be less effective than tickling Jimbo's feet and calling 'im a very naughty boy."

"He can't just start where he left off!" cried Alex.

"He can and he has."

"he can't… What about all the charges?"

Gene sighed and shook his head.

"He's got a bloody Teflon coated backside, Bolly. Nothing sticks."

"No," Alex said forcefully, "I'm going to make it stick. He's not getting away with it this time. He's not superhuman. He's not omnipotent. He's not some kind of deity. He's a man with more evil than blood cells."

"He's more than that… he should be like us but he's not," Gene's anger was growing as he thought about it, "he's taking it from all of us. That makes him stronger. Combined in one twisted man."

"What do you mean?" Alex asked.

Gene froze as he realised he'd opened his big mouth. Alex didn't know about the nature of Keats. She didn't know what they'd found buried in his files. At the time Gene just wanted to save Alex from that pain. Now he felt sick inside as he realised that he'd let something slip.

"Nothing, Bols, just talking me usual bollocks," he said.

"No you weren't," Alex said crossly. She stared at him. "You know something. I can see it. Right there in your eyes." She paused and waited for him to answer her but he stayed quiet. "Come on, Gene – if you know anything about Keats then, seeing as how he has pulled off a miraculous disappearing act – this might be the best time to tell me."

Gene stared back her, his pulse rocketing, he'd kept it from her for the right reasons but he knew deep down that he should have been honest with her from the start. He looked away. She was right – if he was on the loose then perhaps she needed to know. He stared out the window as he said,

"We do it wrong, you know."

Alex frowned.

"What do you mean?" she asked in confusion.

"This," Gene indicated the station, "we're not supposed to bloody care about them. It's supposed to be a job and nothing else." He saw her looking ever more confused. "He's made from me, Bolly. Because I couldn't be a robot. Shoebury had a sci-fi version of this explanation but all I can say is…" he shook his head, "I… created something. For every bit of me that was good, something bad was lurking. Energy." He felt like a prat for talking about it. It sounded so much better coming from Simon's sci-fi brain. "He sucked up every last bit like a bloody vampire."

Alex stared at him.

"He became your equal and opposite," she whispered.

Gene breathed deeply.

"Except it's not just me any more, is it? He feeds off you and Simon too. You're the same. That's why we work so well. But for him it just means he gets a three course meal instead of a sandwich."

Alex stared at him, trying to take this information in. She felt woozy and tried to steady herself a little on the desk.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" she whispered.

"Shoebury did some digging around while you were off on yer holiday to two thousand and bollocks, and Miss Yo-Yo-Knickers was in your place," Gene told her grimly, "when we got you back you had enough to cope with."

"But I should have been told," Alex felt upset that she'd been kept in the dark. She could understand why but that didn't make it any better. "Something this serious… you shouldn't have kept it from me. Neither should Simon."

"I told him to keep his trap shut," said Gene, "didn't want you to ever have to know."

"This isn't just your world any more Gene," Alex reminded him, "it's mine too. I had a right to know."

"You think it's easy to say?" Gene sounded cross now, "think it's an easy thing to live with?"

"But it's not like it's something you can change," cried Alex, "you can't change who you are and it's not like you created a monster on purpose."

"I still created him though," Gene hung his head.

Alex shook her head slowly.

"Doesn't sound like it," she said quietly, "so he took in some sort of evilness. That was his choice. You didn't corrupt him, Gene – he_ chose_ to be corrupted. What made that energy is irrelevant – it took someone as hollow and inhuman as Keats to want to become that person."

Gene shook his head slightly. He wished he could see it that way but he really couldn't. He took a deep breath and said,

"Either way, doesn't change the fact he's on the loose. We need to talk to Simon and Kim."

"No sign of either of them," Alex said quietly.

"Then we keep looking until we find them," Gene told her, "we'll put our heads together. Such as they are," he noticed Alex was still looking very pale and anxious. "We'll find a way, Bols," he echoed her earlier determination, "One day well get him behind pars or six feet under."

Alex tried to nod but inside she felt a strong sense of doubt. Despite her earlier promises she didn't know how she could ever get her head around the concept of defeating Keats. He seemed untouchable. Gene's confidence gave her a little boost but it wasn't enough and while he was back on the streets she knew she would never feel truly safe. All the Easter Island heads in the world couldn't keep him where he didn't want to be held.

"Come on, let's get out of this office and do something. We'll try to find Simon," she said quietly, "he's down at Currys."

"Bloody funny time for a curry," said Gene, checking his watch.

"No, the _shop,"_ said Alex, "apparently there's a new craze in…." she paused, "interfacing with machinery." She saw Gene's blank expression. "I'll tell you on the way," she sighed, wishing that wasn't a task that she had to do. Gene was already a technophobe. After hearing about the latest crime wave he would most likely never go near a computer again for fear of it hurting his floppy.

_**~xXx~**_

_**I forgot to say, a couple of my OCs have run away with me and I am currently writing an original story featuring Robin and Kim on FictionPress for NaNoWriMo. If you're interested there's a link on my profile! Warning: May feature Evan's beard.**_


	29. Chapter 28: The Radio's Revenge

**Chapter 28**

It seemed like they were on a wild goose chase and always two steps behind Simon and Kim. First heading to Currys, they found that they'd missed Simon by a matter of minutes as he'd been called away urgently to a branch of PC World where some slightly imbalanced woman had been scanning her breasts into one of the display computers and an over amorous gentleman was humping a 17 inch. Monitor, that was.

"What the bloody hell is happening to the world?" Gene demanded

"I've heard of cybersex but this is ridiculous," Alex muttered as they tried to take up the trail but every time they thought they were about to get to Simon he'd been called to another random computer shagging incident.

They tried to find Kim next but despite trying all the local tattoo and piercing places that they could find they saw no sign of Kim and Gene almost ended up with some metal shoved through a very unpleasant place for threatening a random tattooist.

"She has to be with Shaz," Alex said, a little flustered, as they headed back to the car.

"Unless he's got his mitts on her," Gene said grimly.

A look of horror came over Alex's face.

"Oh, please don't say that," she breathed. She rubbed her forehead which hadn't stopped throbbing all day. "No, I don't think he would go after Kim right now. Every time he almost gets the prison treatment he licks his wounds for a few days before he starts making his next move." She looked at Gene. "But we still need to find Kim."

"Do you know where Granger lives?" Gene asked.

Alex shook her head.

"I don't even know what station she's working at," she said.

"Where's that poofy club they're always at?" Gene asked.

"That doesn't open for hours," Alex sighed.

"Alright," Gene leaned against the car, "we'll get back to the station. Simon's got to get back sooner or later with a bunch o' computer copulation twats. We can get him to tell Stringer."

But as with all the best plans it hit a snag as they arrived back in time to hear of another arson attack and the rest of the day was thrown into chaos. By the time the end of the day rolled around neither Alex nor Gene had a chance to find Kim or Simon and before they knew it the evening had arrived and both were on their respective nights out to forget the strains of the day.

"Alright," Gene tried to look at it from a different light, "give them one more night of sweet dreams before they start 'aving Jimbo nightmares. We'll go to Shoebury's in the morning before he leaves and talk to them then."

Alex closed her eyes as she leaned back against the couch. There was a part of her that wanted to warn them as soon as possible and thought about going to Bask or Kim's favourite club to find them but her whole body ached and her limbs felt heavy. They hadn't stopped chasing their tails since they'd received the fateful call that morning and she felt exhausted.

"Alright," she said quietly, "I wish we were in the _sweet dreams_ section of the population. Too late for us though."

Gene started to walk to the kitchen.

"Bottle of red, Bols?" he asked.

Alex shook her head slowly.

"No thanks," she said quietly.

"Something not right with you today, Gene frowned, "not like you to say no to a glass."

"I'm too tired to _lift_ the glass," said Alex.

Gene sat beside her and his concern started to grow. Something really wasn't right with Alex. Was it the Shaz stuff that was dragging her down, or had Keats's escape been the final straw?

"Bed, then?" he asked quietly. Alex nodded, her eyes closed. Gene got back to his feet and hauled her up. "Get some sleep. Need you full of beans tomorrow."

"Don't want any beans," Alex mumbled half-heartedly, already half asleep.

"You didn't say that when we did _Come Dine With Me_," Gene reminded her, still slightly resentful that her beans on toast topped his Dolphin-Nosed Potatoes.

~xXx~

It wasn't the most peaceful night's sleep that either Gene or Alex had ever had. Thoughts of Keats on the loose caused them to wake repeatedly in the night. Gene checked the door was locked and bolted three times. Alex checked twice. At one point they were both awake and had a short discussion about moving the bookcase up against the door.

By the time morning arrived Alex felt little more refreshed than she had the night before and sat staring at her cornflakes like a zombie.

"They're not going to tell you the secret o' life you know," Gene commented.

Alex pushed the bowl away and barely looked up.

"I'm not hungry," she said quietly.

"Eat," Gene pushed them back across the table, "this week's already full of bollocks, not having you passing out in the middle of our game of _Where's Jimbo_ this morning."

Alex gave a sigh, stood up and carried her bowl across to the bin where she quickly emptied the contents out before Gene could try to force the cereal down her throat.

"Let's get this over with," she said, "and then I'll eat."

"You bloody won't, I know you," Gene shoved his last slice of toast into his mouth practically in one go and mumbled something that sounded like _"."_

Alex stared at him.

"What?"

Gene spent several moments trying to chew the large amount of toast, swallowed it down and repeated,

"You say that now, but afterwards you'll eat nothing. You know you'll feel worse, telling them."

Alex shook her head slowly.

"Couldn't possibly feel worse than this," she said. She looked at him seriously."we'd better get this over with."

Gene took a deep breath and finally relented.

"Alright," he said, "Jimbo newsflash first. Then breakfast."

It was with a less than enthusiastic sigh that the two of them set off for Simon's flat. They barely said a word to each other along the way and upon their arrival Alex was the one who asked,

"Who's going to be the one to tell them?"

Gene wasn't sure.

"We could draw straws," he said.

Alex pulled a face.

"We haven't got any."

"Rubber johnnies then."

"We haven't had any of those in months."

"Alright, _fingers_ then!"

"I'm not cutting off my fingers just to…" Alex sighed. This was all getting a little ridiculous. "Let's just get in there. We'll take turns."

Gene nodded.

"Fair enough Bols," he said.

As they walked slowly towards Simon's flat Gene started humming the funeral march which didn't exactly help and earned him a glare from Alex. They knocked on the door and waited for the inevitable. It was a conversation they really didn't want to have.

~xXx~

"Oh who the bloody hell is that?" Simon mumbled as he tried to fasten his shirt sleeve. He was surprised to find Kim on the couch, getting ready for work. "Oh, hello," he said, "I thought you'd be staying over," his voice became a little strained, "_with Shaz."_

"She was on an early shift this morning," said Kim, "but we spent yesterday together."

"I thought you were supposed to be working yesterday," said Simon.

"_Supposed_ to be is right," said Kim as the knocking sounded again.

"Bollocks," Simon muttered as he stomped to the door,. He opened it to find a very grim Gene and Alex standing outside. "What's wrong?" he asked, "Oh god, not more people booting up their floppies?"

"Can we come in?" Alex asked quietly.

Kim glanced around and saw the pair of them.

"Great," she mumbled, "I suppose this is where I get a bollocking."

"Got bigger fish to fry than you, Stringer," Gene told her.

Now Kim was worried.

"What's happened?" she asked quietly.

Gene and Alex walked in slowly and shot the door behind them. They stood facing Kim and Simon. They looked a little like they were about to perform some street theatre or something.

"Go on," Simon prompted , "what is it?" he saw their expressions become even darker. "Come on, you're scaring me now."

"And me," Kim added.

Alex and Gene exchanged a glance. Neither knew how to begin.

"Maybe we should have drawn straws after all," sighed Alex.

Gene took a deep breath.

"Jimbo did a disappearing act yesterday," he said.

The words were out now. Simon and Kim turned to each other, their mouths open and their eyes suddenly dark and terrified.

"He's what?" Kim whispered.

"That's impossible," Simon cried, "I saw the chains. The guards on the door."

"Never stopped him before," Gene said darkly.

"We found out yesterday," said Alex, "we tried to track you both down but Simon, you were off trying to prevent random computer copulation and Kim…"

"Stringer seemed to have pulled off a disappearing act too," Gene finished for her.

Kim glanced down, looking suitably ashamed. Suddenly it all seemed so silly.

"Sorry," she said quietly.

"We don't know exactly where he is," Alex said quietly.

"And I don't fancy looking for him," Gene added, "if he goes to ground for a while that might not be such a bad thing."

"But he could turn up anywhere," Kim felt faint quite suddenly and had to take a seat, "anywhere, at any time., he could come after me or –"

"Kim, I know you're scared," Alex began quietly, "but we'll all do whatever we can. The super is talking to Fenchurch West, in all likelihood Keats will find a way to disappear for a little while before coming back with whatever his latest plan is. But I'm still going after him the legal route. The charges still stand as far as I'm concerned. I'm going to look him in the eye in court and stare him down for what he's done."

"Then I want to press charges too," Kim said. She got to her feet.

"What do you mean?" asked Alex.

"He needs to go down," Kim said firmly, "he shot me. He'll go down for that. There were witnesses."

Simon rested his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm the main one," he said with a sigh, "bullet was meant for me."

"You're going to tell a judge you went all wibbly-wobbly and a bullet went through yer head?" Gene challenged.

Simon shrugged.

"I'll just say he was a crap shot," said Simon.

"He's not going to get away with it this time," Kim said firmly.

"Charges might come to nothing," Gene warned, "he's always wriggled out of them before."

"He won't this time," said Kim.,

"Kim, are you sure?" Alex looked at her seriously.

Kim swallowed with nerves but she was determined.

"He's getting out of our lives one way or another," she said.

Gene looked at all three of them in turn. Their expressions were resolute and Alex looked several times more confident and assured than he'd seen her in days. He supposed the back up of friends was sometimes worth more than anything.

"Right," he said, "then all that's left to do is to fire up the lawsuit." He opened Simon's front door. "Get yer arses into me car. We'll go and talk to Superintendent Fletcher."

"Erm.," Simon blushed, maybe I could finish getting dressed first."

Gene noticed for the first time that Simon was still in his pants.

"Great," he sighed, "that's another year of nightmares sorted."

~xXx~

Alex, Kim and Simon looked like a bunch of kids waiting in the headmaster's office to blow the whistle on a school bully as they sat around in Gene's office, waiting for him to return. Their anxiety was high and none of them really wanted to be there but they knew that they didn't have a choice., Ehen they finally saw Gene heading back in their direction Alex opened the door a little unnecessarily for him.

"It's not good," he said.

Alex's face started to fall.

"In what way isn't it good?" she asked.

"Super's happy to support all of you but the Wild West are going to do everything they can to overturn the charges."

"What do you mean" Kim asked quietly.

Gene sighed and reached for his flask.

"Fenchurch West are working on getting all charges against him dropped as we speak," he said, "we can keep charging him, they'll keep getting him out of it."

Well we can't give up," said Alex, "I'm not going to give up."

"Just prepare yourself that this might come to nothing," Gene warned.

"I won't _let_ it come to nothing," Alex said with conviction. The sound of a radio out in CID was distracting her as she tried to express her determination. "One way or another he's put us through too much," the music became louder as Eddie turned up the volume. "I can't think with that music." That was the moment she realised what was playing. The sound of _Wonderwall_ floated through the doorway and she felt as though her heart might seize up. Flashes of a video watched deep in the bowels of the basement, against her better judgement, flooded back to her and she flinched. The images that played through her mind of Shaz's final moments brought nausea bubbling up inside her chest and a terrible feeling of anger and sadness to her mind. Something snapped inside of her, she couldn't bear to hear that bloody song. "Turn that off," she cried, marching out of the door. Eddie and the other members of CID looked at her blankly. "_Turn it off!"_ she cried.

When no one reacted she angrily switched it off herself.

"Chill," Eddie said, a little indignantly.

"if you've got time to stand around doing impressions of bloody Oasis then am I to assume you've got an arsonist in the cells?" Alex cried. No one answered, "Didn't think so. Get back to work, the lot of you."

Slowly, crossly, the gathering disbanded, mumbling about Alex and alleged PMT as they went. In the aftermath of her outburst Alex breathed heavily, almost panting on the spot. She could barely keep herself together. Eventually she felt the presence of someone behind her and turned to see Gene looking confused and concerned.

"I hate the bloody Gallagher brothers every bit as much as you do," he began, but that was a bit of an overreaction."

"Sorry," Alex snapped, not sounding at all sorry. She closed her eyes for a moment and tried desperately to cool her anger. She breathed in deeply and said "sorry," again, a little more sincerely this time, "don't like that song. That's all." Her face contorted with sadness. "It's…. it's the soundtrack on a video I watched recently." She looked at Gene. She could see from his eyes that he knew what she was talking about.

"Gotcha," he said grimly.

Alex looked down.

"Don't think I can ever hear that blasted song again," she whispered.

"I never wanted to hear it in the _first _place," said Gene. He glanced towards the office and saw a slightly anxious Kim and Simon watching from afar. "Look, Bols, let's get back in there and talk about our Jimbo incarceration techniques. I'll get me scotch and we'll talk this through."

"Scotch isn't the answer to everything, Gene," Alex said with a sigh, walking towards the office.

Gene froze in shock.

"Well that's news to me," he said honestly.


	30. Chapter 29: The Phone Call to a 'Tache

**Chapter 29**

Scotch or no scotch, very little came out of the four-way discussion beyond standing strong and unified. It was the only option that they had. Gene, Alex, Simon and Kim knew that Fenchurch West and Keats himself would do all that they could to get him out of the charges brought against him and that charges against Keats had as much of a habit of disappearing as the man himself did. But they realised that, somehow, in the past they'd almost 'let' them. Keats's malevolence was so high that they worried about him on a personal level first and foremost. This time it was time to try the legal approach.

"I don't care what they try to say or do," Alex told Gene with determination as he drove them home at the end of the day, "this time he's getting what he deserves."

"World's biggest swirly for as start," Gene mumbled, "followed by a telephone pole up the arse."

"I was thinking prison," Alex sighed wearily.

Gene breathed deeply as he drove along,

"You do know that there's every chance if we somehow get 'im to court he'll just disappear from the cell," he said.

Alex nodded sadly.

"I know," she said, "but, Gene, there have to be other laws at work here. Could there be implications for his standing if we were able to get him convicted?"

"How d'you mean?" Gene asked.

"Could he lose his power if he lost his position?" asked Alex, "if he wasn't a DCI any more would he lose his… you know"

"I have no idea," Gene interrupted, "never happened, as far as I know." He paused as he drove along. "Actually…" he gave the steering wheel a sudden tug and spun the car around almost on the spot. Alex gave a gasp, her head pressed back against the seat and her stomach lurching.

"You have a real way of making a girl turn green, and its not with envy," she gasped, her hand to her mouth, "where are we going?"

"Back to the station," said Gene, "got a call to make."

"And you couldn't just do that from home?" Alex asked, "after a nice, leisurely drive?"

"Not exactly got 'is number in me Filofax," said Gene.

"You haven't got a Filofax," Alex pointed out.

"Details," Gene mocked as he sped to the station and pulled up sharply outside. He opened the door and stepped out, waiting for a wobbly legged Alex to follow. "You should be used to that by now," he said.

"Yes, well," Alex scowled, "I'm prepared for it when we're chasing an armed blagger. I'm not expecting it when we're going home to fire up the microwave."

Gene led her through the door and up to CID. The department was near-enough empty as they walked through to his office. Alex closed the door behind them and watched as Gene marched to his desk and pulled a tatty old book from his drawer.

"Who are you calling?" she asked.

"Need to talk to a man about a demotion," gene said.

Alex frowned.

"Who?" she asked.

Gene looked up at her with a sigh.

"Litton."

"Litton?" Alex frowned. The last time she heard that name… no, actually, she _read_ that name, in one of Keats's stolen files of a coma victim.

"Jimbo marched 'im out of here, packed him back to Manchester," Gene began, "investigation. Case. False accusations. Demoted to DI."

Alex bit her lip. She never knew the outcome of Keats's nasty plot against him.

"What happened?" she asked quietly.

"That's what I'm hoping to find out," said Gene.

As Gene made the call Alex paced up and down, her memory going back to that day. It wasn't a day she wanted to remember. She's actually never thought about what happened to Litton afterwards. She supposed there was enough going on at Fenchurch East that she couldn't think about what was happening elsewhere.

She glanced at Gene, trying not to listen to the conversation. She didn't want to hear half the story and assume anything. She wanted to wait until Gene had all the information he needed. She opened the door and tiptoed slowly into the main office. The now silent radio still sat on Eddie's desk. She closed her eyes as she thought about that bloody song. _Wonderwall._ Poor Shaz – the moment played through her mind again and again. It could happen anywhere, at any time, and they wouldn't know until Kim received a grim call. She shook her head sadly. It was eating her up inside. God, she was feeling far too emotional. That wasn't like her either. She was out of sorts, too much worry, too many metaphysical dilemmas to solve. She sat down on a desk feeling unsteady. The intensity of the day had drained her of the energy she had left.

Finally the door opened and Gene walked out, his expression unreadable.

"Well?" Alex prompted.

Gene looked around to check they were alone.

"It wasn't just 'is office and 'is desk label he lost," he said. He stared at Alex, watching the recognition creep onto her face.

"You mean he…" she bit her lip, "He couldn't…"

"Perform?"

"No!" cried Alex, "…take someone."

Gene shook his head.

"Not any more. Not after he became a DI."

Alex closed her eyes. She tried to take in the information.

"He lost his power," she whispered.

"Eventually the decision was overturned," Gene told her, "he's been back on his perch for a while." He looked down, his expression grim. "He was like me, Bols. Forgot for a long time. That's why they're trying to get rid of us."

"Who?" Alex panicked.

"The old school," said Gene, "deadies."

"What?" Alex wasn't sure what he meant.

"You… Simon… you both know who you are because you came here alive," said Gene, "Shoebury might be an ex-geek now but he _knew._ He understood because he's been back and forth. He'll never forget."

"And neither will I," Alex said quietly.

"I was dead on arrival, Lady B," Gene said darkly, "Easer to put it out me head. I didn't remember anything out there. From before."

Alex nodded slowly. That made sense.

"So Litton was like you?" she whispered, "D.O.A.?"

Gene nodded.

"We have our differences but," he shrugged, "two of a kind in some ways."

"I understand," Alex nodded.

Gene folded his arms and sat on the desk opposite her.

"So," he said.

Alex glanced up.

"What?"

"What are you thinking?"

"Who says I'm thinking anything?" Alex asked.

"The cogs I can hear churning in yer brain," Gene poked her in the forehead.

Alex sighed.

"Alright," she said quietly, "I'm thinking if Keats gets a demotion then he'll lose his power."

"We don't know that."

"But there's more chance of that than anything else we've tried," said Alex, "face it, Gene – he wriggles out of charges, vanishes from handcuffs, he's bloody indestructible. But take away his title and he could lose all of that. He won't be able to steal any souls and we might be able to," she took a deep breath. "To…"

Gene stared at her. He knew what she meant.

"Don't say it," he said quietly, "I know."

Alex nodded slowly. The idea of trying to kill someone didn't exactly fill her with joy but if the only way to get rid of Keats was to strip his powers and then to take his life then it would save countless others from agony and torment.

"But first we'd have to see him demoted," she said.

"Not going to be easy," said gene.

"We'll start with the charges," said Alex, "if we can get them to stick, even part way, then even if he escapes prison…"

"…Literally," Gene added.

"…Then that will be a start." Alex looked more determined now than Gene had ever seen her. "But there's got to be a professional misdemeanour we can get him with. Something to do with his work practices. You know how stuffy he is – he'll commit a murder without a second thought but someone steps out of line professionally…"

"Gotcha," Gene nodded.

"Got _him,_ hopefully," Alex added.

They stared at each other for a few moments and for the first time since Keats's return to that world they both felt as though they actually had a genuine chance. There was a strong feeling that they just might win this time. That was a feeling that both relished. Finally Gene got to his feet and nodded to Alex.

"Alright," he said, "time to develop a plan of action and it's starting with a bloody big bowl of pasta."

"You can't get demoted for pasta," said Alex, "not unless you pour it over the Super's head or something…"

"For _you,"_ said Gene, "if you're going to be taking the stand against that first-degree twat then you're going to need all the strength you can get. You haven't eaten all day."

"Keats has killed my appetite," Alex said feeling slightly sick.

"Shall we add that to his list of charges?" gene offered.

Alex gave a smile but there was a serious look in her eye.

"We've got enough of those for now," she said, "he won't escape them all. This time, we're going to get him and we're going to do it by the book." She stood up and began to walk towards the door with Gene following behind her.

The lights tripped out one by one as they left. Fitting, thought Alex, because as far as she was concerned Keats's world was suddenly going to turn very, very dark indeed.


	31. Chapter 30: The Perils of Gene's Cooking

_**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who is still reading and especially for those who have taken the time to review. I am so grateful for your feedback and I hope you are still enjoying it. I'm sorry I'm updating so much, I'm a nervous wreck waiting for my next scan (next week) at the moment and I'm writing like a crazy thing to distract myself. Thanks for sticking with this story as it comes close to its climax! -x-**_

**Chapter 30**

"You did."

"I didn't."

"You did!"

"Bloody didn't!"

"Seriously Gene, that's the last time I let you anywhere near the kitchen," Alex gagged, "I thought _Come Dine With Me_ was bad enough!"

Simon looked a little concerned as Gene and Alex passed him in the corridor.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

Alex folded her arms.

"Absolutely fine apart from Gene giving me a lovely dose of food poisoning."

"I'm telling you woman, it's just yer bloody nerves giving you the oral Ridgeleys."

"Gene, pasta is only supposed to be that colour when you buy it green to start with." Alex told him crossly, "Seriously, I knew it was a bad idea."

"I still have nightmares about the dolphin-nosed potatoes," Simon shuddered.

"When I want constructive criticism on me cooking I'll start fishing for me Michelin star," Gene told them, "Shoebury, where's Stringer?"

"She's already here," said Simon, "I saw her in CID."

"Right. Come with me," said Gene as he began to march towards the office.

"Why? Where are we going?" Simon frowned.

"Got a new plan of action," Gene told him, "regarding everyone's least favourite _Wham_ fanatic."

"There's more than _one_ Wham fanatic?" asked Simon.

They arrived in CID just in time to catch Kim decorating the whiteboard with rather stylised flames all around the outside.

"Stringer," Gene began, "as much as I encourage artistic expression maybe you should keep yer art on yer arms and not on me arsonist's profile."

"Sorry, Guv," Kim said a little awkwardly.

Alex looked at the photofit of the arsonist, stuck to the board. She stepped a little closer. After Keats's disappearance from hospital she had more or less forgotten about that. He still looked familiar but she couldn't place him. It gave her a churning sensation inside that had nothing to do with Gene's dodgy pasta.

"Oi, Drake," Gene's voice pulled he rout of her thoughts, "are you going to gawp at Kim's artwork all day or are you going to join the party?"

Alex gave a little sigh as she turned around.

"Sorry, Gene," she said, "I was looking at the photofit again."

She followed Gene through to the office. Simon followed next and pulled Kim along with them.

"Ow, what are you doing?" she cried.

"They've got a plan, apparently," Simon shrugged and pulled a face of confusion.

Gene closed the door as everyone stood around the room, then he closed the blinds and looked at them seriously.

"Got an idea," he said quietly, "we had an epiphany about the Wham Obsessed One last night."

Alex coughed.

"Who had an epiphany?" she raised an eyebrow.

Gene rolled his eyes.

"My slightly green glamorous assistant had an epiphany about Jimbo," he corrected, "what we can do to knock him from his perch."

"I hope it involved pelting him with large objects," said Kim.

"No, it involved pelting him with charges, accusations and allegations," said Alex.

"We need to get him demoted," Gene told them.

"How are we going to do that?" frowned Kim.

"We're not exactly sure yet," Alex said quietly, "we're going to start with the charges that we're beginning against him and stay strong to see those through. But we're going to look into every tiny aspect of his working practice and get him on some kind of official charge. Even a technicality. We need to do this by the book."

"Get him demoted officially and he'll lose his power," Gene began, "or so that's the theory. Without power there's no more soul-stealing, no more freefalling from hospital roofs. No more skipping out of handcuffs." He looked at them seriously. "We'll _get him."_

Simon and Kim exchanged a glance.

"Exactly what are we going to get him _on?"_ Simon asked.

"Anything, Everything," said Alex.

"We don't know exactly yet," said Gene, "we wanted to talk to you first. Then we need to start snooping around like a couple of bloody busybodies from Eastenders"

"It won't be easy getting something to stick but we have to try," said Alex, "nothing else we've tried has worked. If we can't get him on criminal charges we'll get him on professional ones."

A knock disturbed Alex's train of thought and they turned to see Eddie opening the door.

"Sorry to interrupt," he said, "but Guv, there's been another one."

Gene's mind was all over the pace.

"Another one of what?" he asked.

"A fire," said Eddie.

Gene took a deep breath and growled as he let it out.

"All the bloody days for Firestarter to strike," he said. He looked at the gathering in his office and made a decision. "Right. Consider yerselves all on the case for a day. We can talk more on the way."

"But Gene," Simon protested, "I've got to go down to the cells where some guy's got his bollocks caught in a Dell!"

"The Dell-End will still be there when we get back," Gene told him, "_out."_

He stood back and watched the other leave his office. Between the arsonist that seemed as slippery as an eel and Keats who could squirm out of anything Fenchurch East might as well have been coated in KY Jelly, he thought to himself.

~xXx~

"You lot have the constitution of a box of bloody babies," Gene huffed as he took another sharp corner and almost sent three pedestrians flying.

"There is nothing wrong with my constitution," Alex told him crossly, "only with the idiot who didn't check the use by date and assured me the mould was a new kind of sauce!"

"I'd be fine except my last cocktail is coming back to haunt me," Kim mumbled.

Gene glanced at Simon in the rear view mirror.

"What's your excuse," he asked.

"The fact that a report for the British medical journal entitled _'the extraction of human genitalia from computerised equipment'_ keeps flashing through my brain," he mumbled.

"Load of babies," Gene reiterated.

The journey to the latest arson attack didn't bring with it as many ideas and possibilities as they had hoped, but with Keats's history they knew that they would find something sooner or later that would lead to an investigation into his professional conduct. For now, it was time to concentrate on the arsonist.

"He's spreading his wings," Gene commented as they pulled up a short distance away from the smouldering building, "almost out of our patch, this one."

"Broad daylight," Alex said quietly, looking at the charred frontage of the house, "sick man."

She had a strange feeling as she opened the door and climbed out of the car. She couldn't explain it. It felt as though the atmosphere was building. Things were getting darker. There was a strange sensation like static all around her shoulders. The air was almost buzzing. She wished that she could put her finger on what was wrong but she just couldn't. All her senses were on high alert. Something was in the air.

"I don't like that look, Lady B," said Gene.

"What look?" Alex asked.

"That one, right there," said gene, "it's all over your face."

Alex glanced away.

"I don't know what you mean," she said quietly.

"It's that… fading in and out, hearing things from over there, bullet scar aching, wibbly wobbly look," said Gene.

Alex shook her head

"No, really," she said, "It's not, Gene, honestly." She had a distant look on her face. "I just… I just feel like there's something…" she looked all around her, "something brewing."

"I wish there was, I'm parched," Gene commented as he marched towards the house. Alex gave a deep sigh and slowly followed with Kim and Simon behind her. She couldn't shrug off the strange feeling. It was as though things were building to a crescendo and that things could implode at any moment. She didn't like that feeling at all. All she wanted was to feel normal again instead of feeling as though everything could go wrong and fall apart at any moment. For now, she just wanted to wrap the world in cotton wool and bandages to keep it all together.


	32. Chapter 31: The Sound of Metal Falling

**Chapter 31**

"Right," Gene wrinkled up his nose at the strong smell of chargrilled house and looked at his team. True, only Kim was actually _on_ his team, but he was quite happy to borrow Alex and Simon for the day. Funny how, although on equal footing, they were quite happy to take the orders. "Stringer, you liaise with the fire crew, see what they've learnt since they got here. Simon, get yer arse over to the neighbours, see what they saw, bloody twitching curtains round this place someone had to see something. Bolly," he turned to Alex.

"What can I do?" she asked.

"You can go and take a long lay down in the back of me car," said Gene, "you look like an extra from a bloody ghost train."

"I'm fine," Alex tried to sound a little more lively than she felt.

"I've seen more colour in snow," said Gene, "shouldn't have brought you."

"That's charming!" cried Alex, "lovely Gene, try to poison me then take me on a rollercoaster of a car ride and then complain I'm looking a little pale!"

Gene groaned and glared. Now that he wasn't Alex's superior and rarely had the opportunity to take charge over her he'd forgotten what a bloody stubborn mare she was.

"Alright," he said, "if you must stick yer nose in then take yourself over there." He pointed to a woman cradling a crying child, "owner of the house. Use yer sympathetic nature and yer feminine sensitivity to see if you can get a description of what Firestarter was wearing. If we can get a description out now then we've got more chance of sweeping this scab off the streets."

"Fine," Alex said with a nod, then turned to walk towards the people in question.

"Try not to throw up on them, they've had a hard enough morning!" Gene called after her but she ignored him.

She walked slowly up to them and gave them a sympathetic smile.

"Excuse me," she said, fishing her ID from her pocket, "I'm DCI Alex Drake, I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions."

The woman looked at her, tears down her cheeks. She looked so lost and devastated.

"All gone," she whispered.

"I'm sorry.

"It's all gone," the woman repeated, pushing her long black hair from her face with one hand, "everything we've worked for… all our memories… all gone in an instant."

"I'm so sorry for what you're going through," Alex said quietly.

"When are you going to catch this bastard, hmm?" the woman demanded, "I've heard about it on the news. How many houses is it now? Seven? Eight?"

"I'm very sorry," Alex said quietly, "We're doing all we can, which is why I'm here to ask for a description of the man who did this."

The woman glanced at her.

"I didn't see him all that well," she said quietly, "It happened so fast. "

"Do you remember what he was wearing?" Alex asked.

"The woman took a deep breath.

"I'm not sure… I think his trousers were kind of dark grey… bluey-grey. He had this jacket on. It was dark with pale grey stripes, down each sleeve," she indicated on her own arms, "and the sides. He had a cap…. A dark baseball cap. Had some kind of logo on the front." She closed her eyes for a moment. "He was white, he had dark hair." She shook her head slightly. "That's all I remember."

"Height? Build?"

The woman gave a shrug.

"Couldn't really tell from upstairs, I'm sorry."

Alex gave a little smile.

"That's OK," she said, "you've been very helpful – I'll get this out immediately." she looked at her sincerely. "Don't worry. We'll find him."

The woman gave a tiny smile.

"I hope so," she whispered.

Alex walked back to Gene, breathing deeply. Whatever strange feeling she had about the day was still hanging around her. She tried to shrug it off as she approached him and said,

"Got an good description of his clothing Guv. Dark trousers, grey or blue. Baseball cap with a logo and a dark jacket with light stripes."

"Does it sound like our man?" asked Gene.

Alex nodded.

"As far as I could tell."

Gene sighed.

"Get on the radio," he said, "I want everyone out on the street looking for this fire-fucking idiot."

Alex nodded and walked towards the car to get the radio while Gene leaned back against a lamp post and watched the chaos around him. They should have had the man by now. It was starting to really twist the knife in that he was still free.

As his eyes scanned the area he caught sight of a uniformed officer coming in his direction, walking at first but gathering pace as she approached.

"That's a bit quick for plod," he mumbled to himself, "thought they'd still be on their third round of toast by now."

But as then figure drew closer he saw it wasn't one of their officers. The sight of Shaz heading toward him, a look of concern on her face, was one that he hadn't expected for a moment. It made him stumble a little, like a trip back to the past. He swallowed as she arrived in front of him and began,

"I smelt the burning… I was just down the road. Missing tortoise." She looked a little sheepish. The last time she'd seen Gene was in the restaurant when she'd fallen out with Alex. "You remember me?" she asked, "I'm PC Granger."

Gene breathed in deeply.

"Yes," he said quietly, "I remember. PC Granger."

"I just wanted to know… if there was anything I could do to help?" she asked.

Gene cleared his throat.

"That's alright, love," he said, "we've got it covered. Don't think yer station would be very happy if we poached you."

"This is part of my area," said Shaz, "oh go on, it's this or knocking door to door to see if anyone's spotted something moving very slowly through their garden in the last twenty four hours."

Gene felt a strange sensation inside as he looked at Shaz; her familiar features, her eager expression. He understood now why Alex had found it so hard to keep her distance. Getting back a long lost friend was a very powerful thing. He knew that the right thing to do was to send her on her way but sometimes even Gene ached for the old days. Knowing that he'd probably regret it, he nodded slowly.

"Right," he said, "well unless yer missing tortoise is carrying a box o' matches and a can o' petrol then you're probably going to do more good for the community helping _us_ out." He saw her face light up. "Neighbour says they saw him heading right, towards Garrett Street. Start down that way and take it from there. Watch for a young white male, baseball cap, dark trousers and a dark jacket, light stripes."

"Thank you," Shaz smiled, genuinely excited to have something more worthwhile to be doing.

"Good girl," said Gene,

She set off at speed, leaving Gene to watch after her, feeling strange and a little disturbed. Just a moment later he found Alex jogging back towards him.

"Who was that?" Alex asked.

Gene scratched his head and stared at her.

"That," he began a little awkwardly, "was PC Granger."

Alex felt a chill wash over her body.

"Shaz?" she asked.

Gene nodded.

"Tired of tracking runaway tortoises," he said, "wanted to get her teeth into something bigger. Asked if she could help."

Alex looked at him, a little aghast.

"And what did you say?" she demanded.

Gene was slightly disturbed by her tone.

"She's combing the streets as I speak," he said.

Alex's eyes scanned left and right. She couldn't see where Shaz had gone.

"W-why did you let her do that?" she whispered.

Gene looked at her in alarm.

"Bolly, you need to calm down before you blow a gasket," he said, "why are you getting your knickers in a twist?"

"I'm not," Alex cried, "I just… after everything you said to me, you're sending her off…" she seemed to lose her train of thought, a little breathless. Gene looked at her in concern.

"You're not right, Bols," he said, "I'm sending you back to the station."

"I'm fine," Alex said crossly. She brushed her hair away from her face as she stared into the road. "Where did you send her?"

"Neighbour said they saw him heading right," Gene told her, "so she's gone toward Garrett Street. Why?"

Alex opened her mouth. She was going to reply, when suddenly she realised she wasn't sure what she was going to say. She froze, an image flashing through her mind of a familiar street that she couldn't quiet place.

"Garrett Street?" she repeated quietly.

Gene looked at her in concern.

"You've got that look again," he told her.

Alex could barely move. She felt glued to the ground for a moment. Her heart rate started to increase and she could hear her pulse thumping in her ears. In that moment a car whizzed by, windows open, the radio blasting out into the chilly morning.

_# …Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you_

_By now you shoulda, somehow, realized what you gotta do_

_I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now… #_

A deep, dark, cold dread filled Alex inside from the tips of her toes right the way through her body. She froze, she shook, she trembled. Flashes of a video played through her mind, images of a young life lost far too soon, the young copper just doing her job. The man, that callous man, no thought for the life he'd taken.

That man.

That _familiar_ man.

The man she'd seen pinned to the white board, the man she'd seen laying on Kim's desk, that man –

_Their_ man.

"Shit…"

Alex didn't know what to say or what to do. She couldn't tame her racing heart or the panting of her anxious breath.

"Alex," Gene's voice was full of concern. "Alex, you tell me what's wrong or I'm driving you home myself."

Alex turned to Gene, her eyes wide open and full of fear.

"It's happening now," she breathed.

"What?"

"Shaz," she whispered.

"Bolly, what are you –" Gene began but Alex didn't have a moment to explain to him what was happening. She couldn't explain that she'd finally made all the connection. She knew… she just knew inside that this was it. This was the moment, the one she'd watched on the tape, the one that had plagued her nightmares and consumed her thoughts ever since.

Before she could think logically about her situation she found her feet picking up pace and taking her at speed towards Garrett Street. From someone's window she could hear the strains of _Wonderwall_ playing, the same station that the car was pumping out from above. With every word the Gallaghers droned out her anxiety grew and she was blinded by desperation. The desperation to prevent the death that had no right to occur.

_# …Back beat, the word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out_

_I'm sure you've heard it all before but you never really had a doubt_

_I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now… #_

Oh god, she felt so _tired._ Her legs ached and her body throbbed in places that she didn't know she had but she had to keep going. She couldn't stop running. She had to get there, she had to _try._ After all of this, there had to be a reason why Shaz ad come back into their lives. It couldn't have been coincidence. It was no accident.

So she'd never changed the past before. So she couldn't save her parents. Wasn't there a first time for everything? _Wasn't_ there?

She turned the corner and her feet pelted down another road as a car passed by, the same song playing again.

_# …And all the roads we have to walk are winding_

_And all the lights that lead us there are blinding_

_There are many things that I would like to say to you_

_But I don't know how… #_

She was getting closer now, she could feel it. Her heart told her so. Was this it? Was this the strange feeling she'd had all day? Something had been in the air. Something had been brewing. And now, in front of her, as she turned another corner she saw her. Shaz. Her uniform looked too big for her, like she was too young to wear it. Too young to be in the job and too young to be about to lose her life.

That's when she saw him. _The man_. The one she'd seen in two places; on a video from years ago and on a photofit that had lain on the desk of Kim and stared back at her from the board. He was there, by the car, scrambling around… trying to force his way in, trying to make a quick exit. What happened, car break down? Needed fast transport? Or did he simply want to add to his repertoire? Was the arson not enough any more? Was that why he'd been getting bolder and bolder?

"_Stop right there!"_ she heard Shaz's voice ring out as the girl began to move at a faster pace, her walk becoming a trot and then a run as she saw the man trying to get into the car. All she thought about was stopping him. All she thought about was a stopping a criminal in the act. She didn't think about herself, didn't think about her safety. She didn't think about her life – only about helping other people to live theirs. _"Drop it!"_ she screamed at him. But Alex already knew he had no intention of doing as she'd demanded.

It was happening. Oh _fuck_, it was happening.

"_Shaz!"_ Alex's scream was blood-curdling as she cried out her name at the top of her lungs, her throat growing raw and her body starved of oxygen as every last bit went towards her yell.

Shaz stopped. She glanced around and saw to her surprise that Alex pelting towards her, legs flailing. She stopped running, so shocked by Alex's scream that she didn't know what to do. Instead of running into the man to restrain him she froze for a moment, torn between pursuing him or running to Alex to find out what was wrong, but even if she wasn't going to go after him any longer the man knew he had to get rid of her. She'd seen him now. She couldn't let her just go.

_# …Because maybe_

_You're gonna be the one that saves me_

_And after all_

_You're my wonderwall… #_

Running towards her, he grabbed Shaz who let out a pained cry just as Alex reached them and tried to pull him away but he had a strong grip on Shaz and wasn't going to be stopped easily. He held the screwdriver a little way away from her, his intentions dark and deadly, and began to bring it down towards her but Alex's hold on him was just hard enough for Shaz to fight her way out of his hold and stumble backwards to the floor, gasping in shock.

Alex grasped the man's arm, wrenched it around his back and heard the beautiful sound of metal hitting concrete as the screwdriver fell. Alex's cry of relief became a laugh, a desperate and thankful laugh that she could hardly contain. She pulled her handcuffs from her pocket and slapped one side on his wrist before pushing him up against the wall, bringing his other arm around, cuffing it and jamming the toe of her shoe in his back for good measure.

"Not this time," she screamed, her disgust at the man growing with every moment. She decided it still wasn't enough so she treated his privates to a hard kneeing. It was no more than he deserved. As he fell to the ground with a howl of pain Alex looked around. Shaz was still lying on the pavement, flat to the ground. Had she moved since she'd fallen? Oh god, had she been hurt after all?

"Shaz?" she cried, "_Shaz?"_

But as Alex approached her she could see that something was wrong. Something was different, completely and utterly different. Where her longer hair had hung in a lose ponytail Shaz now sported a sleek, short bob. On her head was a black beret and instead of being swathed in uniform she was dressed from head to toe as Alex had last seen her as she fled the Railway Arms so many years ago. She clasped her hands to her mouth and gave a gasp, tiptoeing forward until she leaned above her and watched her eyelids fluttering and opening slowly.

"_M-Ma'am?"_ she whispered.

Alex swallowed. A strange mix of sadness and joy overcame her. She didn't understand it – _couldn't_ understand it - but as she stared she knew without any doubt this wasn't the same woman she'd run into by chance on the street weeks ago. Not the same woman that had brought the colour back to Kim's cheeks and not the same woman who had chased the man with so little thought for her own life above others.

This was _Shaz_. This was _her _shaz.

"Shaz," she whispered as she knelt beside her.

Shaz blinked and stared at her.

"Ma'am, what happened?" she whispered.

Alex swallowed. She felt a tear in her eyed.

"I don't know myself," she whispered.

"What am I doing _here?"_ she whispered, "Chris… where did he go?"

Alex bit her lip and took a deep breath. She glanced around the near empty street where the cuffed man was still writhing on the floor. She couldn't make sense of what had happened in the last few moments. None of it seemed to make sense at all. All she knew for certain was that she'd done the impossible and changed the past. But now?

Now the wrong Shaz was laying on the floor in a world where she didn't belong.

Alex swallowed. Her nausea returned with haste.

"How the bloody hell am I supposed to explain _this_ to Gene?" she cried.


	33. Chapter 32: The Full House

**Chapter 32**

With a struggling, pissed off arsonist in one arm and Shaz clinging on to the other, a tired, haunted and confused Alex walked slowly back to the house. She felt like she was in a daze. She tried to make sense of what had occurred but her mind was all over the place.

She could see Gene by now, still standing on the street, looking bewildered at her speedy exit. His hands were on his hips, a look of anger on his face. Alex's news wasn't exactly going to make him any happier. She bit her lip nervously. There didn't seem to be any logical words to use to describe what had occurred.

"Stay behind me," she said quietly to Shaz as she gripped the arsonist a little more firmly and pushed him towards Gene who had started to walk in her direction.

"What's this, Bolly?" he asked, "you brought me a present?"

Alex felt her heart racing as she pushed the young man towards Gene and he took over the handling of the criminal.

"I've got good news and bad news," she said sheepishly.

Gene glanced from the arsonist to Alex.

"Well considering this one smells like someone's stuck 'im on a bonfire I take it the good news is that you caught our firestarter."

Alex nodded slowly.

"That's him," she said.

Gene looked a little anxious.

"And the obligatory bad news?"

Alex swallowed.

"Something changed," she whispered.

Gene stared at her, confused and about to lecture her for talking bollocks, but as Alex nervously stepped aside and a very different Shaz caught his eye he found himself frozen to the spot. His legs didn't feel quite right all of a sudden. Neither did his stomach.

"Hello, Guv," Shaz said quietly.

That was about when it all went black.

~xXx~

"_Gene… Gene… oh, for the… come on, it's not THAT bad…"_ Alex fanned him repeatedly with a handful of photofit copies, "Come on, Gene, look alive!" She realised that was never a good thing to say to someone in this world but he was still out cold so it didn't seem to matter. "_Wake up!"_ She thought about slapping him. That's what _he_ usually did, wasn't it? She sighed and decided she valued her life too much to try it. "Come _on_ Gene," she tried shaking him a little, "Don't make me get the smelling salts." She paused. "Or Simon's socks." She glanced around, leaned forward and said loudly into his ear, "oh no… I think someone might have scratched your car.."

"Hmmmpfff… _what?"_ Gene sat bolt-upright

Alex smiled with relief.

"Knew that would do it."

Gene looked around, a little disorientated for a moment, then he remembered what he'd seen.

"Bugger." He looked at Alex. "You'd better tell me what happened."

Alex took a deep breath as swirls of nausea rose in her chest. She wasn't sure how she was ever going to explain it.

"It fell into place, Gene," she whispered, "I realised where I'd seen the man before The one from the photofit. I'd seen him on Shaz's tape." She flinched at the memory. "When you said she'd gone to Garrett Street I realised that I knew the road from the video as well. I just ran, Gene."

"I know, I noticed!"

"I had to try," she said pleadingly, "I couldn't just let it happen again. I knew she was about to die and I couldn't let her."

"So at what point," Gene began, "did Shaz-Nineteen-Ninety-Six change 'herself into the almost-Mrs-Skelton?"

Alex closed her eyes.

"After I cuffed him I turned around and there she was, lying on the ground," she shook her head, "she changed, just like that." She looked at him anxiously. "Gene, what's happened?"

"I'll go and check the instruction book, shall I? Bols, I'm buggered if I know!" Gene cried, "You just changed the past and made things flip on their head! I don't have a clue what happened!"

"Has this never happened before?" Alex asked, already knowing the answer.

"What do _you_ think, Drake?" cried Gene, "no, it hasn't bloody happened because I've never had anyone in me world who is as obstinate, determined and bloody-minded as you before!"

Alex looked around at Shaz who was sitting on the garden wall, looking as lost and confused as Alex _felt_. She felt a little guilty.

"What are we going to do, Gene?" she whispered.

"I thought I might try going to bed for a few months and waking up when it's all over!" cried Gene, "I_ warned_ you not to try to change things, didn't I?"

"I didn't think it was possible," Alex said a little pathetically.

"Bolly," Gene looked at her seriously, "there are lots of things that we didn't think were possible. Two people coming over together. Souls splitting in half. Reproduction. Bringing life back. And then someone goes and does it for the first time and suddenly… it is. Things are changing here." He shook his head a little, "got to look after this place better because even I don't know all the rules."

Alex nodded sadly. She looked down.

"Sorry, Gene," she said quietly.

Gene stared at Shaz and exhaled loudly.

"Poor girl," he said, "one minute you're enjoying a pint at the Railway Arms, the next you're flat on yer back on the pavement."

"She doesn't seem to remember the Railway Arms," Alex said a little sheepishly, "last thing she remembers is the blag."

Gene closed his eyes.

"Double bugger," he said. The sight of someone with short blonde hair walking towards them made his worries increase tenfold. "Great, that's all we need. How are we going to explain to Stringer that her favourite piece of skirt has had an eighties makeover?"

"Oh shit," Alex felt a terrible sense of dread building inside of her as she saw Kim walking closer. What the hell was this going to do to Kim? Like the girl hadn't been through enough. She closed her eyes for a moment. "Gene, I'll have to talk to her. You go and speak to Shaz. Try to explain things to her."

"I get all the best jobs," Gene muttered as he began to walk towards her. He had a feeling that this was going to go down as one of this top five all-time worst conversations to have.

~xXx~

"Didn't really learn much from the idiot fire chief," Kim said as Alex ran towards her, "he was too busy toasting a marshmallow over the embers." She froze as she saw Alex's gaunt expression. "Ma'am, you look awful are you OK?"

Alex took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"Kim," she began, "something happened while you were away."

Kim froze.

"What?" she whispered. The last two times someone had a serious word for her it had involved Keats. She hoped this wasn't going to be the hat trick.

Alex slipped an arm around her shoulders to turn her away from where Shaz was sitting. It was possibly better that she didn't see her. Not yet at least.

"I don't know how to tell you this, Kim," she said. Those words did little to soothe Kim's nerves.

"What's the matter?" she demanded.

"I need you to listen to me very carefully," said Alex. When she'd led her a safe distance away she stopped and turned to face her. "It's about Shaz."

"Shaz?" Kim repeated. A cold sensation travelled through her bones. "Oh god what's happened to her?"

Alex swallowed.

"Kim, I knew Shaz long before you did."

"She… she never said."

"She didn't know."

"What do you mean?"

"She came here," Alex whispered, "I mean… she came_ back_ here…" she closed her eyes. How the _hell_ was she supposed to explain this? "Kim… I came to this world just like you, but a long time ago. I woke up here in nineteen eighty one after being shot in the head. Like you, I knew that I didn't belong here because I was still alive, _out there_, but not everyone that I met here knew that they'd come from another world." She felt herself choking up a little as she said quietly, "When I joined CID Gene already had a team. There was Ray… stupid perm and a moustache… there was Chris… not many brain cells but a good heart…" she swallowed, "and there was Shaz."

Kim stared at her.

"Shaz?" she repeated quietly.

Alex nodded.

"I met Shaz in nineteen eighty one," she whispered, "where she had gone, after," she flinched and swallowed, "after losing her life in the real world. In nineteen ninety six." She paused. "Today."

Alex's words were starting to make sense to Kim. She wasn't sure she quite understood the logic of how she had come to know Shaz but she supposed the Shaz she knew was the 'original' version of the one Alex had known years ago, the first time around. Panic started to take over her body and she felt her legs crumbling beneath her.

"She… today…" her voice was weak and broken, "She's dead… isn't she? Shaz? _Shaz?"_ she screamed as she felt herself tumbling to the floor.

"No! No, she isn't!" Alex cried, grabbing Kim and trying to hold her upright, "she isn't, Kim. I stopped it happening. I saved her," she held her by the arms and looked her in the eye. "I stopped her being killed, Kim." She watched Kim's face disintegrate into floods of tears, mostly of relief but mixed with sadness, anguish and confusion.

"Oh thank _god,"_ she cried, "I thought… thought I'd lost her."

Alex bit her lip.

"But there's a little more to it than that," she whispered.

Kim looked at her and swallowed. The nerves were not disappearing.

"What do you mean?" she whispered.

Alex felt tears coming to her eyes.

"Kim… something happened when I changed the past," she whispered, "the Shaz… that _you_ know… the one whose life was here, in ninety six…" she flinched. "she's changed. She's… she's gone, Kim."

Kim stared at her.

"I don't understand.

"The Shaz that I found when I looked around was the one that Gene took to the Railway Arms in nineteen eighty three," she whispered.

Kim blinked. Her words had no meaning.

"What?"

"She's the Shaz that_ I_ knew," Alex whispered, "this… it's never happened before… saving someone from the death that sent them to this world originally. I didn't… didn't know what could happen, but…" she closed her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Kim. The Shaz who is here now is the one I used to know. She's taken her place and she won't… She won't know you."

Kim stared at her. Her words didn't make sense to her. She felt a tightness across her chest and it seemed impossible to breathe.

"She doesn't know me?" her voice was so low that it was almost inaudible. Alex felt a lump in her throat and her eyes grew a little tearful.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. It brought to mind thoughts of what Gene had gone through with the _other_ her. She shook her head slowly. "I'm so sorry, Kim."

"How can she not know me?" Kim whispered.

"Because she's a different Shaz," said Alex, "remember when you saw your family, Kim? In your first days here? You saw yourself as a child. That wasn't the same 'you', was it?"

Kim had to bite her lip hard to stop herself from succumbing to tears.

"I've lost her?" she whispered.

Alex closed her eyes.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered again.

Kim swallowed. She couldn't cope with it. Her heart was breaking and she couldn't see any reason to go on. To find love and lose it so fast was the cruellest thing she had ever known. She took a deep breath.

"I think," she whispered, "I would like to go now."

Alex nodded slowly.

"I understand," she said, "I'll get Gene to drive you back to the station.

"No," Kim whispered, "I think I'd rather walk."

"Are you sure?"

Kim nodded.

"I want to be on my own," she whispered. As she stepped away and turned around her face fell further. "Is that her?" she whispered.

Alex bit her lip and nodded.

"Yes," she whispered.

Kim closed her eyes tightly and turned around.

"_Fuck,"_ she cried. She could see it for herself now. She knew Alex was telling the truth. That wasn't the Shaz she knew. Her heart couldn't take any more. She began to walk away at speed before Alex could see her crying.

As she watched her walking away Alex felt wretched. Had she done the right thing or not? She saved Shaz's life – but now she'd ruined Kim's. She shook her head despondently. How could something she had such good intentions about have gone so wrong? She couldn't just leave Shaz to die, there was no way. She felt like her heart was torn in two.

Slowly she began to walk back to Shaz and Gene, both sat grimly on the wall. They looked up as she approached.

"I've had a bit of a word with Shaz here," Gene said quietly, "we're, uh, going to go back to the station and get her something hot, strong and sweet with a little top-up of medicinal scotch for the shock, and then we'll go on a pub crawl."

Alex gave a thin smile.

"Alright," She said quietly.

Gene helped Shaz up and wrapped his coat around her shoulders. She was shaking, confused and in shock.

"Come on, Granger," he sighed, "just this once I'll even make the tea."

Shaz looked at him, a little alarmed.

"I don't want seven sugars, Guv," she said.

"You'll have what yer given," said Gene, "this is a once in a lifetime opportunity."

~xXx~

The drive to the station was awkward and, for the most part, silent. Shaz's pleas to avoid seven sugars paid off when Gene decided to purchase some hot beverages from Latte lLand instead, although it did serve to confuse poor Shaz more when she was complimented on her 'new haircut' by those who were used to seeing her hanging around with Kim before work in the mornings.

"Poor Kim," Alex whispered to herself as she watched Gene collecting the drinks. She wasn't sure how she was ever supposed to recover from an event like this. She sighed as Gene rejoined her and Shaz, before walking back to the car. She climbed in a little awkwardly and flinched as she pulled the seatbelt across her lap.

"Bolly," Gene began sternly, "you've already disrupted the _time-space-latte continuum _or whatever the bloody hell it is," he said as he climbed in the driver's seat and Shaz climbed in the back beside a slightly baffled Simon, "if yer scar is still aching at you then tell it to bugger off. I'm not having any more metaphysical incidents in one day."

"My scar's fine," Alex mumbled, a little crossly, "You don't have to panic about getting a ceiling full of stars every time I get a stomach ache you know. Probably still your pasta killing off my digestive system an inch at a time."

"Where's my latte?" Simon piped up from the back. He looked at Gene in the rear view mirror. "I count three lattes. Where's mine?"

"Still in the coffee machine," said Gene as he set off at speed before Simon could take the opportunity to dive back into the café and pick one up for himself.

The rest of the ride to the station passed quickly. Alex felt strange and unsettled seeing the Shaz she used to know climbing out of the car in the familiar car park. It was like a glimpse of the past.

"As far as strange days go," she muttered to herself, "this has to be top ten. Easily.

It was at a fast pace that Gene led them back to CID. He wanted to get Shaz settled and calmed as quickly as possible. She'd be setting off back to the Railway Arms soon enough but he had a feeling that he would have to explain things a little more clearly first.

They were a whole floor away when they first heard the cacophony. It sounded like a crowd waiting for a concert to start. None of them were sure where all the voices were coming from, nor why they were so loud. The closer they got to CID, the louder the voices became until they reached the doorway of CID and the noise grew to fever pitch. That's when they got their answer.

"_What… the…?"_ Gene began, his mouth hanging open.

There, in CID, were people. _Many _people. So many they were practically stacked on top of each other. At every desk people were arguing over ownership, some shoving others out of chairs, others yelling they they needed to get out of their space _now_. There were arguments in every corner, fingers wagging, hands on hips and angry words aplenty.

It was when Ray Carling walked up to Gene and said, _"Guv – there's a load of bloody poofs all trying to sit at my desk!" _that he_ really_ started to realise what was going on.

His eyes scanned the room. Faces, familiar faces.

He swallowed and cracked his knuckles then took a deep breath.

"_Bolly!"_ he yelled at his top volume. He looked around and stared a worried Alex right in the eye. "_You've broken the Railway Arms!"_

It was true. She had.


	34. Chapter 33: The Meeting Of Jackets

**Chapter 33**

Nelson looked out over his empty pub. Where were all his customers? He hadn't pulled a pint in over an hour.

He wasn't completely sure what happened. One minute he was running his common-or-garden pub in Manchester, the next he'd returned from changing the barrel to find himself in London with an empty pub. The double life of The Railway Arms was confusing enough by itself but he just about kept a balance between his two roles.

The doors were wide open. That wasn't right. There was no sign of Gene, no one wending their way inside. But something was going on because he was stuck there with no way to return to Manchester until Gene had dropped off… well, whoever he was there to collect.

"I knew redecorating the saloon bar was a mistake," he said.

~xXx~

"Gene… What's happening?" Alex whispered, more scared than she'd been since Gene said he was cooking clams for _Come Dine With Me._

Gene swallowed. He wasn't exactly sure.

"I think.," he said crossly, "that your little history-changing exercise has called time upon the Railway Arms!" He scanned the faces. He knew every last one of them. They'd all worked for him, some in Manchester, some in Fenchurch, but all with one thing in common – Gene had sent then on their way.

"Guv, you got a light?" Ray asked hopefully.

Gene rolled his eyes and sank his hands deep into his pockets with frustration.

"They've all come home," he said, "like the biggest bloody batch of prodigal sons the world has ever seen." He noticed one figure applying bandages to random people in the office. "And daughters."

"Who the hell are this lot?" Simon cried indignantly.

Alex took a deep breath.

"They're ours," she whispered, "all the people we helped to move forward."

A man in a leather jacket stepped out from the crowd towards Gene. He seemed to be one of the few who understood what was going on.

"Gene Hunt, I didn't think I would ever have the dubious pleasure of seeing your mug again."

Gene straightened himself up a little.

"DI Tyler," he began stiffly, trying not to show how pleased he was to see the familiar face, "I move all the way down to the soft bloody south and I still can't escape you."

Simon raised an eyebrow. He stepped forward and stared at the newcomer.

"So _that's_ Sam Tyler," he said.

Sam stared at Simon who was wearing an almost identical leather jacket. He frowned.

"Who the hell is this prat?" he asked.

Gene scratched his head.

"That is Simon Shoebury," he said, "he's trying to be _Tyler Mark Two."_

"He is, is he?" scowled Sam.

Simon looked Sam up and down. So this was his competition, was it? The one who'd left such an impression on Gene. The one Gene thought of as being the last friend he'd had. Simon was fairly sure he had taken on a green hue, and his wasn't from mouldy pasta, his was from jealously. She cursed himself for that. He thought he was over his crush on Gene. It seemed not.

Alex stepped forward.

"Sam," she said.

Sam looked around and seemed surprised to see her.

"I…" he frowned, "did I have a session booked… or…?"

Alex gave a slightly ironic smile.

"I see all those sessions really helped you," she said sarcastically, "all those hours I spent listening to your stories and tapes about Gene Hunt and you still plunged from a roof."

Sam looked at Alex shocked to see her there. The last time he saw her was at the final session he had before his rooftop escapades.

"What are you doing here?" he frowned, "my stories enough to make you join the high-jump crowd to see for yourself?"

"Uh, no," Alex said a little awkwardly.

Gene looked slightly uncomfortable as he said,

"Tyler, let me introduce DCI Alex Drake, due to become Mrs Hunt some time later this year, if I can get a ring on 'er finger without 'er fading away."

Alex looked a little awkward.

"I'm… I'm still alive," she said quietly, "out there."

Sam looked from Alex to Gene in surprise. He couldn't have been more shocked if Gene had stripped off to reveal a tutu and started dancing the Nutcracker Suite.

"Gene Hunt, you dirty old dog," he cried, "I didn't think you had it in you."

"If you doubt me ask her how much she's 'had it' in _her_," Gene said tactlessly, leading to a scowl and a kick in the shin from Alex.

From somewhere in the office a voice cried,

"_Will all of you who need first aid please form an orderly queue over here?"_

Alex felt a smile cross her face.

"Susannah," she whispered.

"Oh shit," Gene cursed, "that means bloody Jarvis Cocker's got to be in there too."

Alex's eyes scanned the room. She felt tears filling her eyes.

"They're _all _in there, Gene," she whispered, "every last one of them. Everyone that we said goodbye to. Everyone we miss."

"_Chris!"_ Shaz's voice rang out as she pushed past them and raced into the office. They watched her throw herself into the arms of a man with floppy, highlighted hair.

"Shaz," he cried, "where did you go? I thought I'd lost you. You disappeared from right under my nose!

"Oh baby, I don't know what happened," Shaz said awkwardly, "it's all been really strange…."

"what's going on?"

Alex and Gene turned around to see a very confused looking Kim standing behind them.

Gene looked at Alex and raised an eyebrow

"Are you gonna tell her or shall I?"

Alex cringed. She put her hand to her head.

"I think I broke heaven," she whispered.

~xXx~

Nelson peered through the door. There was no one around, truly no one at all. He couldn't go back to Manchester while his pub was in _that_ state. But all his customers had disappeared. His till was empty and his pumps were full. There was only one thing for it, he decided. He needed to go and find himself some new customers.

He'd never ventured out of the pub in London before. He spent most of his time up North where he lived and enjoyed his day to day life. Once every few months maybe he'd visit London to take a lost soul and serve up a cold beer, but beyond that all he saw of London was a bit of a road and Gene looking sad.

He took a step outside of the pub. This was strange, he thought, being there without Gene Hunt to greet him. He gave a deep sigh and decided that there was only one thing for it. He had to go and round up some new customers for himself to keep the cash flowing until such times as his usual clientele came back.

As he walked slowly down the road a slightly crazed, bespectacled man approached him. He'd seen him before, hanging around, pestering Gene.

"Aw, what's the matter, Nelson?" he asked, "all alone? No one to care…"

Nelson looked at the man.

"You are barred," he told him, "permanently.

"Don't want to drink your stinky booze anyway," the man told him. He held out his hand. "the name's Keats."

Nelson wrinkled up his nose and stepped away.

"I'd shake your had bit then none would ever buy beer from me again," he said.

Keats watched as Nelson trudged away in search of custom. He gave a sneering laugh. It had been a complete stroke of luck that he'd been wandering by at that moment. Keats did a lot of wandering these days. Ever since his disappearance from hospital that's all he did, trying to come to terms with some of the things he saw and learned in 2011. This looked to be the kind of distraction he'd been looking for.

"Heaven… unattended," he said, "_fool."_ He marched confidently towards the doors, met some kind of invisible wall, hit his nose so hard that it bled and found himself rebounding several feet.

As he lay on the ground, a sharp pain travelling though his back, he cringed and stared at the sky.

"Maybe Geoff wasn't so bad after all?" he muttered to himself.

~xXx~

_**A/N: On a personal note I would just like to boast that Simon would be very jealous as I have been successful in my application for tickets to attend the filming of the new series of Red Dwarf! Poor Simon never lasted long enough to apply… *sob!***_


	35. Chapter 34: The Tourist Trap

**Chapter 34**

"It's not right," Ray shook his head, all hunched over, "it's not natural." His face was a picture of utter despair.

Alex glanced at Gene and nodded towards him.

"What's the matter with Ray?" she asked.

Gene sighed.

"I just broke the news that I stopped smoking," he said.

Alex sighed and shook her head as she watched a fight breaking out between Eddie and Malcolm for supremacy over the desk in the corner.

"This dream is getting weirder!" Eddie was crying as he tried to wrestle Malcolm to the floor, "now I've got members of Pulp trying to steal my job!"

"I earned my post!" Malcolm cried, trying to bite Eddie on the ankle, "I worked hard!"

"Stop that!" Susannah charged at them, desperately trying to pull Eddie away from her fiancé, "I'm almost out of bandages, I won't have enough left for the two of you."

Alex closed her eyes and shook her head again.

"One life," she mumbled, "I save one life and all hell breaks loose."

"Don't you mean all _heaven_ breaks loose?" Simon commented.

Alex glared at him.

"Not if you want to remain bandage free," she said rolling up her sleeves.

Simon gulped and backed away.

"Fine," he mumbled.

Alex sighed and looked around at Kim who was standing a little way behind. Her arms were folded and her face a picture of sheer sadness. She followed her line of sight to where Shaz and Chris were standing in the middle of the room, their arms around each other. It made Alex's heart sink.

"Oh Kim," she sighed.

Kim didn't even glance up. She kept on staring. It hurt so much but she couldn't stop.

"I know she's not _my Shaz,"_ she whispered, her voice crackling as she tried to keep herself together, "but it's so painful to watch that. She doesn't even know who I am. It's… it's like it never happened."

Alex bit her lip, feeling worse by the moment.

"Kim, I am so sorry," she whispered.

Kim breathed in deeply.

"It's all started to make sense now," she said. She glanced at Alex, "some of the things you saifd that I didn't understand at the time. Why you were so surprised when me and Shaz started going out. Why you made that comment when I told you she was bi. It was because she had a boyfriend when you knew her, wasn't it?"

Alex nodded.

"Yes," she whispered.

"And the reason you were so down on Shaz joining Fenchurch East."

Alex nodded again.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"And when you told me Shaz wouldn't be around forever?"

"Kim, I wanted to tell you the truth, but I couldn't," Alex said quietly, "you can understand why, can't you?"

Kim was torn between saying she understood and demanding to know why Alex hadn't told her the truth in the first place. Eventually she nodded slowly.

"Kind of," she whispered.

Alex looked at her face. It was pale, almost dead. The external signs of a broken heart.

"I wish there was something I could say," she whispered.

Kim shook her head slowly as her eyes fixed on Shaz and Chris again.

"There isn't" she whispered. She'd just lost the love of her life and she knew that she was never going to feel the same way about anyone again.

"Bolly," Gene's voice interrupted Alex's thoughts. She looked around slowly.

"Hmm?"

Gene shuffled a little, getting twitchy about the number of people standing in the office who knew the whereabouts of his scotch.

"I think we'd better get this lot back to the Railway Arms before they have to start arresting each other for trespass and common assault," he said.

Alex bit her lip.

"Can we do that?" she asked, "I mean… can we just take them back? They're not stuck here are they?"

Gene shrugged.

"We're in rubber pants territory here," he told her, "I have no idea. Me theory is, the pub's parked somewhere with its doors wide open and this lot can walk back in without having their ID checked or getting hassled by the landlord. It's got to be here for them all to get out."

"At least they didn't have to jump out of the bloody window," Alex muttered a little crossly.

Gene rubbed his forehead. Getting them all to the pub was going to be no easy task, especially as he'd already spotted Chris sitting on Eddie and telling him to get the hell out of his seat.

"Alright," he clapped his hands like a schoolteacher about to lead his class on a field trip to the museum, "I don't know about all of you but after a hard day fighting each other in the office there's nothing like a nice cold beer. And there's nothing like a nice cold beer to be found in the Railway Arms, but there's some slightly acceptable, room temperature beer, so get moving. Go on – out. Two at a time. Think Noah's Ark." He saw a lot of blank faces staring back at him. "_Out!"_ he barked, "The sooner you get there the sooner you can all start getting rat-arsed again!"

With an exchange of glanced, many many people started to walk out of the office, some dusting themselves off from their fights, others trying to rip off the plasters and bandages that Susannah had forced upon them.

"I'm never going to get to bloody smoke this," Ray muttered, throwing his unlit cigarette on the floor.

Gene rolled his eyes as he spotted someone following them who shouldn't be off to the pub.

"Not you," he said, hooking Eddie out of the crowd and pushing him against the door.

"Don't I get to go to the pub?" he cried.

"Not _this_ pub, no," said Gene.

"Why not? I'm over eighteen!"

"Pray you never have the chance to find out why," mumbled Gene as he took his coat back off of Shaz, "Oi, Granger, that's mine. You've got Chris to be chivalrous now."

Kim hung her head as she watched Shaz pass by without even a glance in her direction. She didn't think her heart was going to take this much pain.

"So what now?" Simon asked.

"Need your help," said Gene, "You too, Stringer. Got to make sure none of this lot wander off-course. "

With a sigh Simon and Kim joined the snake of people making their way out of CID.

"I feel like a bloody sheepdog," mumbled Simon, his arms folded in annoyance.

~xXx~

Nelson had never been to London. Well, he'd never been _around_ London. His time in the capital was always short and lasted only as long as it took for Gene to say goodbye and for the doors to close behind the latest person to step into the bar. He never had a chance to step out into the city and to explore it.

His eyes were drawn to a garish stall, bearing an enormous union jack on the top. Curiosity got the better of him and he wandered over.

"_I Love London_ T-shirts, just ten pound!" the street seller boasted.

Nelson reached into his pocket and found his wallet full from the previous night's takings.

"Ten pound?" he repeated, "that's my kind of deal!"

He gladly paid for the t-shirt.

"Cheers, mate," the seller smiled as he handed him one.

Nelson smiled, pleased with his purchase, and tucked it under his arm. He began to walk away but at the last moment he hung back.

"And how much for the red telephone box hats?" he asked.

The seller looked at him curiously.

"Where are you from, mate?" he asked.

"For the sunny climes of Manchester," said Nelson.

The seller smiled and hid the _"Hats: £10"_ sign with his hand.

"For you? Twenty quid, mate!" he said.

Once again Nelson happily paid up. He was going to be the best dressed tourist in London.

And also, the most broke.


	36. Chapter 35: The New Bar Staff

**Chapter 35**

Alex gave Gene a slightly melancholy smile as they walked with the snake of ex-colleagues towards the location Gene was anticipating the Railway Arms to be found at.

"There aren't many here that I don't know," she said.

"Yes, it's a bugger to know some of this lot," Gene grumbled,

"No, I mean…" Alex sighed, "you didn't seem to have a lot of colleagues from Manchester who went to the pub."

Gene stared ahead.

"Yeah, well," he said, "memory seems to have improved since you came on the scene. Maybe it's all that humping. Good for the brain cells."

Alex knew she'd touched on a sore point - and that had nothing to do with the sex. She knew Gene regretted the years where he was falling short of his duties. He had more than made up for that now.

"I almost wish," she said quietly, "that we could… let them stay."

Gene looked at her, slightly aghast.

"Bols, have you any idea what that would mean?" he cried.

"Yeah, yeah, state of the world, blah blah," Alex mocked.

"I was thinking more about how many bloody lattes you'd have to get on the latte run," Gene told her. His expression softened a little and so did hers. They looked over all the familiar faces. As much as they knew they had to go back where they belonged just seeing them again had been a most wonderful experience. It only saddened them to know it was temporary.

"Was it strange to see Sam?" Alex asked Gene.

"Tyler," Gene sighed. He stared at the back of a leather jacket walking just ahead of them, "didn't think I'd be seeing him for a very long time."

"I'm not sure what he made of your news," Alex said a little awkwardly.

"Sam likes to think he's the one who gets the attention from the female members of the population," said Gene, "he can keep telling himself that if he wants but he doesn't have the Gene Genie charm."

Alex nodded to a brunette walking beside him.

"And that's Annie?" she asked.

Gene nodded.

"She's put up with Tyler's inane rambling for so many years she deserves a bloody medal."

"What, and I don't get one for putting up with yours?" Alex asked cheekily. She glanced at Gene and let out a tiny laugh. She finally felt like she could relax just a little. "I'm sorry about this," she began, "the whole… _broken heaven_ thing, Gene. I didn't know this was going to happen. But I couldn't let Shaz die."

Gene stared at her. He knew that. And if he was honest, deep down, no matter what he might have said about the world he wouldn't have been able to let Shaz die either. But he wasn't the one who made the connections – that was Alex. She was the one who saved her from the screwdriver.

"You know, Bolly," he said, "you might have irreparably damaged the bloody space time continuum…"

"Oh, thanks a lot!"

"…But you did a fairly decent job catching our firestarter," said Gene.

Alex looked at him with a smug sideways smile That was about as much praise as she was ever likely to garner from Gene, but to her that was the pinnacle of compliments.

"Thank you," she said proudly. She stared at gene with a smile, then took a chance and planted a kiss on his cheek. Gene looked slightly alarmed.

"Steady Bols, not in front of the children," he said.

Alex laughed as she looked at the line of detectives and coppers stretching out before them.

"I hope they all remembered to bring a packed lunch and clipboard," she teased.

"Not many of them brought their bloody brain cells," Gene commented.

Alex sighed with a little smile. They continued to walk along for a little while. She was disturbed that someone, she suspected Chris, seemed to have started a round of _'We All Live In A yellow Submarine'_ at one point but it didn't really catch on.

"How much further?" she asked.

"Pub's only going to be a minute away," said Gene.

"Does Nelson do food?" Alex asked.

"Not unless you want another dose of food poisoning," said Gene.

"Bollocks. I'm starving now."

"Five minutes ago you were complaining I'd killed yer bloody digestive system, make up yer mind woman!" Gene admonished, "you'll have to wait until we get back."

"I'm not eating in the canteen," Alex told him, "I saw that woman scratching her big backside with the ladle yesterday."

"Surprised she didn't lose the bloody thing in there," said Gene.

It wasn't long before the crowd found themselves outside of the pub through which they'd all passed at some point. Alex felt a strange kind of flutter in her chest as she looked at it and swallowed. She didn't usually go with Gene when he took someone to their next place. She had her own local. When it was her turn, she took her charge to Luigi's. She hadn't seen the railway Arms since the night that she passed through the doors and left through the window. It made her feel a little strange to be back.

"So what now?" she asked, the breeze taking her hair away from her face.

Gene stepped forward. He made his way through the crowd, held a hand to his face to shelter his eyes from the sun and called,

"Nelson?" he waited but there was no reply. He looked around and tapped his foot a little. "Oi! Is the beer off or something?" he waited but there was still no response. He exchanged a glance with Alex who was looking nervous and twitchy. "_Nelson?"_

Cautiously he tiptoed to the doorway of the pub and peered inside. Empty. No one around. He looked behind him and gave a strained shrug.

"Looks like the bar's closed for business," he said.

"Oh come on, Gene, I'm parched," Sam complained.

"I need to restock my bandages," Susannah added.

"And I need someone who can give me a bloody light!" cried Ray.

"Guv, where's Nelson?" Chris asked.

Gene took one cautious step inside. He thought for a minute that he might be sucked into some kind of weird vortex bit nothing happened. He tiptoed to the bar and found a note taped to one of the beer pumps. With a sigh and a groan he stomped back out and read it to the impatient crowd.

"_Lost my customers, gone to bring in some business. N."_

"Oh _what?"_ a murmuring of discontent rose from the crowd who were all complaining that they were thirstier than the next person. As they bickered amongst themselves Gene held up his hands.

"Wait," he cried, "just wait. Nelson won't be gone long. He'd practically tethered to the bar. So let's just wait for 'im to get back shall we? And then we can all 'ave his bollocks on a plate for leaving us without beer."

"What about you?" Sam called out.

"Me?" Gene glanced behind him, he shook his head. "Not time for me to join you yet. Still got stuff to do here."

"No, I mean – why don't you put your burgeoning bar skills into good use." There was a devilish glint in Sam Tyler's eye. Gene shuffled uncomfortably. It had not been his favourite undercover mission and his bar skills left much to be desired.

"Listen, Tyler, if that's a bloody challenge then why don't _you_ get behind that bar and start pulling pints?" he said.

"At least mine might have some beer in them," Sam told him, "they won't be pints of foam."

"You might know how to pull a pint but that's about the only thing you know how to pull," Gene retorted, "how long did it take you to get some lip action out of DC Cartwright?"

"Guv!" Annie's mouth fell open, horrified.

"Well what about you?" Ray piped up, "Looks like you finally got yourselves together but the times we wanted to bang your heads together…" he looked from Gene to Alex, "or book you a bloody motel room and send you a plate of oysters."

"Nothing wrong with taking yer time," Gene told him sternly, "_DI Chaser-Of-All-Skirt-and-Shagger-Of-None!"_

"_Wa-heeey!"_ Chris and Shaz cheered as Ray's face looked like thunder.

"Look," Ray began sternly, "all I want is a bloody pint, somewhere to sit down and to finally get to smoke my cigarette. Alright?"

Simon looked at Ray, then nudged Kim.

"He's one, he said.

Kim nodded.

"Oh yeah, no doubt."

Ray frowned.

"One what?" he demanded.

Simon spread his palms innocently.

"Nothing," he said.

"I want to know what you're saying about me!" cried Ray.

"Nothing, just… admiring your moustache, that's all," Simon couldn't stop himself from laughing a little which set Kim off.

"You've all got it in for me today!" cried Ray, feeling more than a little picked on.

"Go on, Guv," said Sam, "get behind the bar and at least pull him a pint. Day he's had, he deserves it."

Gene narrowed his eyes as he scanned the crowd. A chant started to go up from somewhere. He wasn't sure but it sounded like "_Guv, pull us a pint."_ The chant started to catch on, becoming louder and more insistent. Eventually he couldn't take the chanting any longer, rolled up his sleeves and said,

"You load of rotten buggers, you'd better come in and pull up a stool. You're about to see how to drink, Gene Genie style."

~xXx~

Nelson wandered absently into the line. It was a long line. He wasn't sure what it was for but then again he could hardly see past his Telephone Box hat, giant teddy bear swathed in union jacks, poster of Buckingham Palace or scale model of Big Ben. By the time he got to the front of the queue and found himself standing between two Beefeaters, having his photo taken and being charged ten pounds for the privilege he decided that this was probably a good time to give up and go home. Or at least back to his nice cosy pub.

With all his classy tourist gear he was sure he would be the envy of the afterlife.

~xXx~

"I can safely say that Nelson's job is safe," Sam said as he scrutinised the pint. He estimated there was about 10% beer in the glass. The rest was thick, white foam.

"It's the best one yet, what are you complaining for?" Gene cried, shoving the pint across the bar, "that'll be eight quid."

"Bugger off," said Sam.

"Got to pay for me wedding somehow," said Gene.

Sam glanced around at Alex who was talking to Susannah. Susannah seemed to be edging towards Alex with a big bandage and Alex was denying the need for one quite furiously.

"You've done well for yourself there, Gene," he said.

Gene put on a stern face but there was a smugness behind it.

"I'm a lucky bugger," he said, "I've not forgotten that either."

"How long has she been here?" Sam asked.

"Fifteen, sixteen years," said Gene, "give or take."

"That's a long time to be in limbo," said Sam.

Gene nodded. He stared at Alex who now had the bandage wrapped several times around her waist and was blanching in fear as Susannah came at her with a safety pin to secure it.

"She's staying, Sam," he said.

Sam lifted his pint of foam to his lips, had second thought and put it down again.

"How can you be sure?" he asked.

"Lost her once and she came back," said Gene. He looked at Sam. "_You_ came back."

"Yeah, but there was no going back for me," said Sam, ""If she's still alive out there –"

"She made her choice," Gene told him, "buggered if I know why, but…" He watched Alex sneaking away and shuffling out of the bandages, "Must be doing something right." He coughed slightly, "speaking of _doing_ things…" he moved out from behind the bar, "watch the bar for me, would you?"

Sam looked a little taken aback as Gene flung a beer mat at him.

"Why? Where are you going?"

"Want to inspect a window," Gene called back.

He accosted Alex just as she was busy trying to persuade Ray that everyone was not really against him and that she was certain he would find a light soon. She found herself gently pulled aside by a slightly shifty looking Gene.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

Gene glanced around.

"I've heard stories," he said, "about you and a window."

Alex hesitated. She wasn't sure where this was leading.

"Yes, Gene, you know that's how I got back," she said.

Gene looked around to check no one was listening and then said conspiratorially,

"Dangerous things, pub windows. Anyone could fall out." He leaned a little closer and said, "Maybe we should inspect it. Make sure it's safe." He raised an eyebrow. "In the lavvy, wasn't it?"

Alex finally caught on. She looked at Gene, licked her lips gently and then said,

"Are you saying you want to commit a cardinal sin in heaven?"

Gene looked back and forth. Then he looked back at her.

"That's about the size of it," he said as he stepped closer.

"Gene, I can _feel_ the size of it…" Alex commented but before she had a chance to finish that thought she found herself whisked away to the toilets for a spot of safety investigation.

Sam shook his head with a smile as he watched them go. Gene had changed, in good ways. He could see Alex was a part of that. She might have made a crappy psychologist, he thought to himself, but as a foil for Gene she had been ideal and really helped him to grow.

"Speaking of which," he mumbled. His eyes scanned the pub until he spotted a man in similar attire to his own. "Oi. Simon, isn't it?" he called out.

Simon looked around awkwardly. He saw Sam beckoning him over with a finger. He felt quite anxious suddenly. He'd heard a great deal about the legendary Sam Tyler. It felt like the man had been some kind of deity in the grand scheme of things. He crept slowly to the bar and cleared his throat.

"Can I help you?" he asked,

"Yeah," said Sam, "I want you to look after Gene for me."

Simon hesitated. He glanced around. He didn't even know why. Maybe in case Sam was talking to someone else. He tried to think of something to say.

"Uh… I'll try," he said, frowning with confusion, "I mean – I _do_ try. When he lets me."

"I know, I've seen," said Sam.

Simon took a step back. This conversation seemed to be getting more confusing by the moment.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

Sam looked at Simon seriously.

"I do a bit of bar work for Nelson sometimes. Hard job, running a real pub _and _heaven."

Simon gave a nervous laugh.

"Uh… I should imagine it is," he said.

"Sometimes we get to check on the good ones," said Sam, "make sure they're OK. The Gene Hunts of this world need someone to look out for them as well."

Simon nodded slowly.

"That's true," he said quietly.

"He was one on his own," said Sam, "job was too big for him. It's a good thing he's got people like you and Alex."

Simon wasn't sure what to say.

"If you watch over Gene," he began, "why were you surprised to hear about him getting married."

"I don't watch over his _bedroom,"_ Sam pointed out, "I'm not a pervert."

Simon sighed.

"Good answer," he said.

Sam looked at him seriously.

"Two pieces of advice for you," he said.

Simon looked at him expectantly.

"Go on."

"You've got a…" Sam hesitated, "a different role to play in this place. You're unique. One of a kind. Like a bridge between the two worlds."

Simon felt a very strange breeze down his spine.

"Wh-what do you mean?" he asked.

"You'll find out one day," Sam told him, "until then, don't underestimate your power here."

Simon swallowed. This was all getting a little bit Twin Peaks for his liking.

"And the other thing?" he whispered.

Sam leaned across the bar.

"Hanging around outside leather shops and trying to turn yourself into me isn't necessary, Simon. You've already got his friendship. Stop trying so hard."

Simon bit his lip.

"You," he said quietly, "it was your voice, outside the shop," he remembered a ghostly voice that had haunted him, "wasn't it?"

Sam didn't reply. Instead he pulled a near-perfect pint and stood it in front of him.

"On the house," he said, "thanks for looking after him."

Simon hesitated. He felt strangely emotional. He gave Sam a nod and a sincere smile.

"My pleasure," he said quietly, then picked up his pint and walked away. He had plenty to think about.

~xXx~

"Well, that was… interesting," Alex brushed her hair out of her face and peered around the door to check the coast was clear before hurrying Gene out of the ladies'.

Gene hastily untucked Alex's skirt from the back of her knickers before anyone spotted it and adopted an innocent expression.

"I give it eight out of ten," he said, "the position of the toilet roll holder was a bit inconvenient. Me arse is going to be sore for a fortnight."

"Yes, well," Alex blushed, "at least_ I _didn't get over excited and grab onto the chain for stability. I knew we should have put the seat down before we started. It was like trying to do it in a bloody fountain."

"Guv?" Ray's voice stopped Gene in his tracks.

"Yes, Raymundo?"

"Did you know you've got bog roll stuck to your shoe?" Ray asked.

"No. I did not," said Gene as he peeled it off.

"And to your back," said Ray.

Gene blushed and pulled a sheet from the back of his coat.

"Thank you, Ray.

"And sticking out your flies…"

"DI Carling, if you don't stop pointing out where you have spotted pieces of toilet roll about my person then I will be giving you good reason to use one – to wipe your head after you become more closely acquainted with the inside of the toilet!"

"Nelson!" Sam's voice called out.

The gathering in the pub turned to see Nelson staggering into the bar, his souvenirs smothering him half to death. He let them fall to the floor and stretched out his arms, revealing his _I Love London_ t-shirt.

"Mon Brave!" he cried, his eyes focused on Gene, "it's good to see you!"

"This is only temporary," Gene warned, "just keeping the beer warm for you while you were out…" he frowned as he spotted Nelson's touristy make-over. "Bloody hell, Nelson, they saw you coming, didn't they?"

"I love London!" Nelson protested.

"By the looks of it London loves you," said Gene, "how much did you spend?"

"Uh, Gene," Alex tapped him on the shoulder "don't you think we'd better be going?"

Gene felt his heart sinking a little as Alex spoke. It was true. It was time to go. He looked around the pub full of faces that he had been so grudgingly glad to see again. He gave a gruff smile to each and every one of them. One day he'd be joining them, but that time was a long way away. Gene had sent years helping others. Now, with Alex, he was finally learning to enjoy his own life before he had to go.

"Well then." He said, "I suppose me bar skills are surplus to requirements now."

"Such as they are," Sam volunteered from behind the bar.

"Thank you, Tyler," said gene. His eyes scanned the pub and he nodded to the friends that he hadn't seen in so long. "You scruffy lot, look after each other. Keep one cool for me."

"You have enough drinks waiting for you already when you finally join us, Mon Brave," Nelson told him.

Gene gave a nod. He turned and walked slowly to the door. Alex walked beside him, one hand on his shoulder, while Simon and Kim walked a little way behind. As they reached the door Kim hesitated and looked back. There at a nearby table was Shaz with her arms around Chris. Her chest felt heavy.

"Shaz," she said quietly.

Shaz looked up at her. There wasn't a hint of recognition on her face.

"Yes?"

Kim's eyes grew teary.

"Goodbye, Shaz," she whispered.

Shaz gave a polite smile.

"Bye," she said. As she watched Kim leave she turned to Chris. "She seemed like a nice girl," she said.

Gene turned around and gave the crowd one last glance.

"Get these doors shut, Nelson, before they all go looking for matching t-shirts," said Gene, "they'll be copying your style.

"I'm the original," Nelson smiled. He stepped to the door, threw Gene a warm smile and before they knew it the door had closed and their friends were gone again.

The four of them stood in silence for several moments, each wrapped up in their own thoughts. Their eyes met and a look of shared trust and knowledge was exchanged. Finally, as they realised that the pub was no longer there behind then Gene spoke up.

"We'd better leave before Eddie arrives looking for beer. Seemed pretty pissed off he wasn't getting an invite."

"Can we stop for lunch on the way?" Alex asked hopefully.

"Where do you want to go?" asked Simon.

"I'm not fussy," said Alex, I'll eat anything. Well, anything but pasta…"

As Kim's distressed expression caught their eye, both Simon and Alex extended an arm around her shoulders and the four of them slowly made their way back. It had been the strangest of days in so many ways and one that none of them would ever forget. It had brought hope, familiarity, devastation and sadness. But the one thing that couldn't be denied was that it had brought them all closer together. And in a world so fragile that could only be a good thing.


	37. Chapter 36: The Unexpected

**Chapter 36**

"Some sandwiches? A salad in a pot? Sausage roll?" Alex pestered Gene the whole way back to Fenchurch East, naming every food she could possibly think of.

"Bolly," Gene began, "can I _please_ make sure me office is still standing after the invasion and then we will grab a slap-up lunch of muffins, shortbread and gingerbread men at Latte Land."

"That's not a lunch," Alex protested.

"If you don't srop complaining I'll make you some of me fishy biscuits," Gene threatened. That was enough to put Alex off of her quest for food and kill her appetite stone dead.

Simon put his hand on Gene's shoulder and stopped him walking. he looked around to see Simon looking a little anxious.

"Gene," he said quietly, "give me your flask."

Gene scowled at Simon and looked him up and down to see if he'd really had the balls to say that.

"Of course, Shoebury," he said, pulling himself to his tallest height, "and then I'll polish yer car, shine yer shoes and mop yer brow as well."

"No," Simon sighed ad rolled his eyes. He nodded towards Kim who had fallen several paces behind. Her hands were in her pockets and her head turned downward. She couldn't face the thought of looking up at all. Didn't want anyone to see the tears around her eyes.

Gene gave sigh. He looked incredibly uncomfortable. Finally he reached into his pocket, pulled out the flask and gave it to Simon.

"Tell anyone about this and you're dead," he threatened.

Simon gave a slightly triumphant smile.

"Not a word, I promise," he said. He walked back to Kim, put an arm around her shoulders and said something to her out of earshot. Kim nodded silently and Gene and Alex watched as Simon led her away to his office.

"Do you think she'll be alright?" Alex asked quietly.

"Losing someone without being able to say goodbye" Gene took a deep breath and shook his head slowly, "that's a hard thing to bear."

Alex glanced down as she thought about the situation they'd been in just a few months earlier, separated by life and reality, not sure if they would ever be together again. She nodded slowly.

"Poor Kim," she whispered.

"Shoebury will see her right," Gene told her, "he's doing the big brother thing again."

Alex nodded.

"I'm just not sure that's going to be enough this time," she whispered. She stood there for some time, just trying to absorb the devastation that Kim must be feeling until a hand on her shoulder brought her out of her thoughts. She looked around to see Gene looking concerned.

"Before you start offering Stringer yer services as a psychiatrist," he began.

"_Psychologist."_

"I'm more worried about how you're doing?"

Alex sighed and shook her head. She started walking towards CID.

"You still think I'm going to start fading in and out, don't you?" she said, "Gene, I'm fine. It's been a difficult week. Now all I want is a long soak in the bath, an early night and a substantial meal, one which preferably doesn't involve fishy biscuits."

But Alex's plans couldn't have been forgotten any faster than they were the second she stepped into CID and saw a young copper standing beside Kim's desk. Her uniform, petite stature and brunette locks left Alex in no doubt that she really was seeing who she thought she was seeing.

"_Shaz?"_

The young girl took a few steps forward, looking a little sheepish and confused.

"I came to say thank you," she said, almost trembling.

Alex turned, open mouthed to Gene then back to Shaz

"But… but how can you be here?" she cried.

"I took a cab," shaz said, not sure what the big deal was.

"A cab?" cried Alex, "a cab from where exactly?"

Shaz gave a shy sort of smile.

"I'm a bit confused to be honest," her voice was quiet and soft, "that man… the one from your description…" she glanced at Gene who nodded, "after you pulled him away from me I fell and I must have hit my head or something. It must have knocked me out." Her expression became ever more confused. "You'll never guess where I woke up?" Alex and Gene stared on. They couldn't even begin to guess. "In a pub."

Gene raised his head a little.

"A pub?"

"An empty pub," Shaz looked sheepish, as though she wasn't sure they believed her, "I know it sounds funny… I thought maybe someone took me in there to buy me a drink, for the shock. But there was no one around and the doors were open so I left." She looked down, feeling silly. "I wasn't sure where I was so I got a taxi and it brought me here."

"How long have you been waiting?" Alex asked quietly.

"A while," said Shaz, "your tea boy's been keeping me entertained," she nodded towards a slightly pissed off Eddie, "keeps telling me stories about people having fist fights in this office and pulling each other out of the chairs. Then he made me three cups of tea and tried to pull me."

Gene sighed and glanced at Eddie.

"And did he happen to mention a very strange dream as well?"

"He did as it happens." Shaz nodded. She looked at Alex and stepped towards her. "I just… I had to thank you," she said quietly, "you saved my life. Heaven knows what would have happened to me if you hadn't been there."

Alex swallowed, her eyes growing tearful and her lip wavering slightly.

"I think I can hazard a guess," she said quietly.

Shaz held out her hand.

"Can we bury the hatchet?" she asked.

Alex gave a fuller smile.

"I'd like that," she said, "very much."

Gene thrust his hands into his pockets and looked a little awkward. It had been a day of gestures of kindness that Gene Hunt wasn't really used to offering so he thought he might as well throw in another one.

"PC Granger," he began sternly, "I hear that you'rw un'appy with your lot."

"Pardon?"

"Not liking yer station."

Shaz looked down.

"Not really," she said quietly.

"Well," Gene began, "leave it with us, We'll 'ave a word. See what we can do. Might be a spare desk around 'ere you can warm up. What do you think, Bolly?"

Alex glanced at Gene, shocked by the turnaround in his attitude towards her. But, she supposed, the worst had already happened. Shaz's death hadn't transpired, the past had been changed and despite the damage that Gene alleged Alex had caused to the space time continuum – not that he knew what one was – the world had survived intact.

She gave Shaz a very warm smile, the kind she'd wanted to give her from the first time she ran into her in the street. There was nothing to hold it back now.

"I think that's a wonderful idea," she said, a little tearfully.

Gene held out his hand to shake on the deal.

"Welcome to Fenchurch East, PC Granger," he said.

Alex found herself having a hard job of holding back the tears. She wiped her eyes and looked away for a moment. When she composed herself a little she said quietly,

"I think there's someone else who will be very pleased to see you, Shaz."

"Christ's sake, don't let them have that bloody reunion in front of Eddie," said Gene, "he really _will _think this is some bloody wet dream."

Alex hesitated.

"Come to my office," she said quietly, gently leading Shaz away by the shoulders, "Gene, go and get Kim."

"Why does everyone think they can give me instructions today?" Gene demanded, "am I some kind of bloody dog? get her yerself," He eyed Eddie warily as he wandered around mumbling complaints about the state of his dream, "...I've got tea boys to push into filing cabinets..."

~xXx~

"Come on, Kim, talk to me," Simon said gently, "I know there's nothing that I can say but I'm worried about you."

Kim stared down at Gene's flask in her hands. Her eyes were full of tears that wouldn't fall and her face was dead and ashen. She had nothing left. She was empty. She felt like stone.

"There's nothing to say," she whispered, "it's over. At least you don't have to worry about me _cheating_ any more."

"Kim, I just want to help," he said gently, "whatever my thoughts are about your relationship I can see how much you loved her."

"_Love,"_ a voice interrupted from the doorway.

Kim and Simon turned their eyes to see Alex waiting there.

"Pardon?" frowned Simon.

"Loves," said Alex, "how much she _loves_ her, not _loved."_ She looked at Kim. "Come with me, Kim. There's something you'll want to see"

"I don't really want anything to eat," said Kim.

"It's not lunch," said Alex.

"Promise it's not fishy biscuits?" asked Kim.

"Cross my heart, said Alex.

Reluctantly Kim got to her feet, slid off the desk and slowly walked towards Alex. Her head remained downward and her eyes never left the ground.

"I'll take that," Alex said quietly, removing Gene's flask from her grip.

"I'm not going to drink myself to death you know!" Kim protested.

"No, I know," said Alex, "I'm not saying you will. I just think you'll need your hands free for this."

"Why? Do you want me to punch Eddie?" Kim asked hopefully.

"Now that's tempting," said Alex, "but, no. Not on this occasion.

"What, then?" asked Kim.

They reached the door of Alex's office and Alex opened it slowly.

"You'll see," she said quietly.

The sight that met Kim's eyes was the last thing she had expected to see. It stole the breath from her body and almost took her legs from under her. In that moment she felt the most intense emotions that she'd ever experienced in her life, or ever would again. The mix of love, relief, ecstasy, amazement – they overwhelmed her and exploded within her in a cry of emotion and the movement of her body at speed towards Shaz.

Shaz didn't know what had caused such a strong reaction from Kim; she didn't know what had unfolded over the last few hours, nor the level of anguish that she had been through at believing her to be lost forever. All she knew was that the love and the warmth that came from Kim's warm embrace were one of the most wonderful sensations she had ever felt.

"I'm alright, babe," she said, a little confused, "your friend Alex stopped him from hurting me… I'm fine."

Kim sobbed with joy and held her close. She couldn't even notice her own voice chanting, "_thank god, thank god,"_ again and again. All that she knew for certain was that she knew for certain what love felt like and this was it. This was _definitely_ it. That soul-crushing, terrifying feeling that your life is not your own any longer because someone else has managed to sneak past your defences and take comfort from your care and warmth.

Kim knew her life would never be the same again, because from that day forward she knew what she would be missing whenever she and Shaz had to say goodbye. She would never take a moment for granted. And she knew that, however long they had together, her life would be complete.


	38. Chapter 37: The Not Very Slap Up Meal

**Chapter 37**

Despite everything, Simon couldn't stop himself from smiling every time he caught sight of the gooey look on Kim's face. It was so very _un-Kim-like_. It amused him in a way, the irascible young lady he'd met months ago tamed by love. While his feelings about infidelity would never change he also could see now that some things were not black and white. There were many shades of grey between them. He knew that if Kim and Shaz had met out in the real world then Kim could have broken up with her girlfriend first, done the right thing. But she was in an impossible situation, and she deserved to be happy.

"So you're seeing her tonight then?" he asked as she lay back on the couch, staring absently at the ceiling, a smile upon her face.

"Hmm?" she glanced at Simon, "Oh, yeah. We're celebrating."

"Celebrating what?" asked Simon.

Kim went back to staring into space.

"Well, we're kind of celebrating at crossed purposes," Kim told him, "Shaz thinks we're celebrating catching the arsonist. But I'm just celebrating life."

Simon smiled. This really _was_ very un-Kim-like indeed, more so by the minute. But it was really good to see. He sat in the armchair opposite and looked at her seriously.

"Kim," he said, "everything that's happened lately… I'm sorry that it almost came between us, and I am really glad that things have worked out for you."

Kim looked at him with a smile.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

Simon felt heaviness in his chest. Seeing her devastation when she thought she had lost Shaz forever had upset him greatly. He understood how that felt. Like his separation from Robin through life and death it wasn't a straight forward situation. It's that never getting to say goodbye that's so hard. He looked at her sincerely.

"Kim," he said quietly, "I hope you're always this happy."

Kim eyed him warily.

"Why? Because you can get away with putting on a Red Dwarf video without me throwing the rest of your collection out the window?"

"No, I mean it," Simon told her. He sighed. "Listen, I know what you were saying about Sandra. I know you already feel like things won't work out when you get home, and I can see form your face that you don't feel the same way about her that you do about Shaz. Promise me one thing?"

Kim looked at him curiously.

"What?"

"Now that you know what love feels like," Simon began quietly, "make sure you never settle for second best."

"What do you mean?"

"Find someone who makes you this happy," he said quietly, "however long it takes. However hard to have to look to find them. Whoever it might be. Make sure that you find the right one."

Kim looked at him a little blankly. She wasn't sure what prompted that speech but his eyes were very sincere. She nodded slowly.

"I'll try," she said quietly.

Simon tried to smile but there was a little lingering sadness there too. He had a feeling that Kim might be looking for a very long time before she found someone who made her feel that same way. The look on her face when she thought about Shaz said it all. That was love, real love, the kind you're lucky to even find once in a lifetime.

He stood up and wandered off to the kitchen to let her get ready for wherever she and Shaz were due to head that night. He had matters of his own to ponder as he walked to the fridge, pulled out a beer and sat down at the table to think about Sam Tyler's strange advice.

Bridge between two worlds? One of a kind? What the hell was that supposed to mean? Simon didn't like riddles. He felt like Sam was two lines away from '_The Owls Are Not What They Seem'._ He sighed deeply as he thought about the events of the day, meeting Gene's past colleagues, the ones he'd only heard about or read about in files. The world had a whole history he didn't know a thing about and there were still so many gaps to fill in.

"And so much for my bloody leather jacket," he sighed.

Maybe it was time to ditch the Sam Tyler look.

~xXx~

"You call this a slap-up lunch?" Alex accused, staring at the egg and cress sandwich that landed on her desk.

"No, this is just the lunch," said Gene, "the slap is what happens later, to your exquisite posterior."

"Well as tempting as that is," Alex pulled a face slightly, "I think you've had your excitement for one day. My _exquisite posterior_ has not recovered from getting stabbed with the end of the loo brush," she pushed the box of sandwiches away. "And I'm not spending the afternoon walking round with eggy breath."

"Suit yer bloody self," said Gene.

Alex leaned back and closed her eyes. She felt thoroughly exhausted.

"So is firestarter safely locked up in a nice warm cell?" she asked.

"Enjoying the views as we speak," said Gene as he took an enormous bite from his sandwich. He chewed it twice and gulped it down. "Got a nice long line of willing volunteers who are offering to come and pick him out of a line up."

"That's good," said Alex.

"Glad that's a chapter over with," said Gene, "thought that scrawny twat was going to carry on toasting Fenchurch forever.

"Never thought it would be Shaz and a video that would lead us to finding him," said Alex.

"Never thought it would be you finding him," said Gene. He looked at her seriously. "Sometimes I forget what a team we made."

"What do you mean?"

"On the job instead of in the bedroom," said Gene, "not forgotten _that _part."

Alex blushed a little and picked at a sandwich that really wasn't tempting her in the slightest.

"I do know what you mean," she said. Working under her own steam, although there were often crossovers with cases it wasn't quite the same as being on Gene's team. "It was quite the trip down memory lane today," she said, "in more ways than one."

"Shame Nelson took a trip through half of London instead of memory lane," said Gene, "what did he look like? Can't imagine Ray and Chris are going to let him get away with wearing that hat without a few comments."

"Poor Ray," Alex had to giggle, "he did go through it a bit today, didn't he?"

"He'll survive," said Gene, "I'm sure he'd had worse."

"True," smiled Alex.

"What were Shoebury and Stringer on about anyway?" asked Gene, "what did they mean by _'he's one'?"_

Alex smiled and shook her head.

"No idea, Guv," she said innocently. She didn't think Gene was ready to learn that he'd_ always_ had a team full of members of the 'rainbow brigade'.

Gene looked at her seriously.

"You feeling any better, Bolly?" he asked, "because I need you fit and strong." 

"I've already told you, I'm not doing it while bungee jumping," Alex admonished.

"I mean for the next battle," said Gene, "Operation Demote-A-Twat."

In the days' excitement Alex had quite forgotten about Keats and their plan. She took a deep breath and looked at Gene with determination.

"I could have two broken legs, a severed head and I'd still be up to it," she said.

"Good," said Gene, "because this is last chance saloon, Bols. If this doesn't work then that world-class arsehole is around for the duration. But if we can knock 'im off 'is perch then we just might able to stick a rocket under him and send him to a land far, far away."

"Whatever it takes," Alex nodded.

They both knew there were more battles ahead. Finding a way to get Keats the demotion he so richly deserved was just the first step. But they were determined that this time they would succeed in taking away the power of a man who by rights should have none. Their world had been through something pretty damn traumatic that day and survived intact. Not only that but so had they. If they could survive that then they could probably survive just about anything.

"And if that doesn't work…" Alex began.

Gene glanced at her.

"Yes…?"

Alex gave a sly smile.

"Maybe you can pull him a pint and drown him in foam."

Gene glared at her over his egg sandwich.

"Any more comments about me bar skills and I'll be serving you up a screwdriver," he threatened.

"That," Alex began, "Is _not_ funny."

Gene already knew that, but he didn't care. Nelson was back behind the bar of the Railway Arms, he'd seen the friends that he never thought he'd get to see again and he had an extra egg sandwich for lunch.

All was right with the world once more.

**~xXx~ The End! ~xXx~**

**~ Epilogue up tomorrow, and huge thanks to everyone who followed this story – writing this has kept me sane(ish)! ~**


	39. Epilogue: The Consequences

**Epilogue**

'…_Those who live without fear of consequence take from their life whatever they want. Those who live without fear of consequence have learnt from yesterday that life's too short to worry about tomorrow. Those who live without fear of consequence grab their perfect today…'_

"Those who live without fear of consequence never realise how much they stand to lose," he whispered as he lit his cigarette and watched them from afar. He found himself shaking. That could have been from anger. Not anger at her, but anger with himself.

He fumed as he saw her meet the young brunette, greet her with a hug and a kiss, watched their eyes light up as they talked to one another, saw the tender touches they shared and the emotion in their expressions. Fire of resentment built up inside of him. She was_ his_… she _should _have been his. But he'd thought he could just carry on forever the way that he was going, using a concoction of substances and hypnosis to lure her into his bed, denying the way he felt. Denying that he felt anything at _all._

It was strange how with each trip back and forth – between Gene's world and the living world – he lost a little more of his humanity, yet this time something had changed. Spending time in Layton's body, he'd been at the mercy of some of his memories, his emotions and his drives. It seems he'd brought back a few souvenirs from that particular journey.

Ever since he woke up the flashes of his human side seemed to have been coming through with increasing regularity. He'd gone into hiding while he tried to battle them under control and while he tried to come to terms with some of the things he had discovered in 2011, like the branch of his family tree that made his blood boil with fury. He'd quite happily take a chainsaw to that particular bough.

He threw the cigarette to the ground. He wasn't enjoying it. He hadn't smoked in a long time, all part of his _turning himself into Gene Hunt _obsession. Besides, that wasn't enough now, because he seemed to have brought another little added extra back from Layton. He'd been fighting it so far but sometimes the compulsion grew strong to put something far less legal in his veins. He shuddered and tried to put it out of his mind.

He walked slowly forward as he watched the two girls enter the club, wrapped up in each other's arms. Inside he thought that he might explode. The emotions that he wasn't used to grappling with threatened to suffocate him as he stared on and the words of terrible truth spilled forth from his lips.

"_I lost you,"_ his voice shook as he tried to tame his anger,_ "and I killed my baby."_

The guilt and the pain swelled inside him for a moment until he forced it away and he stood, breathing heavily, staring at the building. There was no sign of her now. She was on the inside, with _her_, whoever _she_ was. Some young piece of skirt that made Kim look at her in a way she certainly had never looked at him.

But what did he expect when he could only get a woman into bed through smoke and mirrors?

"Those who live without fear of consequence," he whispered, "are always on the edge of a broken heart."

~xXx~

'_Those who live without fear of consequence never imagine going one step too far.'_

Simon crashed from one wall of his bedroom to the other as he staggered towards his bed. His vision was blurred and his head spinning. He wasn't sure how much he'd had to drink. He was so full of beer that his stomach was sloshing with the stuff and it had been at least two hours since he had control of any of his limbs.

He fell against the bed, dropped to the floor, pulled himself up and crashed out on top of the covers, fully dressed. He knew he'd wake up with a hangover in the morning, he knew that his head would be throbbing and his tongue would resemble the bottom of his guinea pigs' cage, but he didn't care. It was how he awoke most mornings now. It was the only way to block out the thoughts of Robin that filled his mind all day and all night, becoming harder to deal with when darkness fell.

When was the last time he ate? Her wasn't sure but he didn't think it was in the last 24 hours. He barely registered the hunger now. He felt it on a physical level but it had no meaning to him. He didn't link feeling hungry with eating, it was just something else to take his mind away from the emotional pain.

As he passed out cold he knew the tranquilisers were sitting by the bedside in case he didn't quite make it through the night. One of those and he'd be out cold until morning. Tomorrow he'd pump himself full of caffeine and head off to work, wishing the day away until the next night came and then the cycle would behind again.

He wasn't living. He was existing. It wasn't the same thing.

~xXx~

'_Those who live without fear of consequence can find their past on the doorstep when they least expect it.'_

Gene rubbed his temples as he finished his scotch and stared at the wall. The day had been a strange one indeed. He felt a little unsettled by it in many respects. His world had never been through something like that before, but the fact that it seemed to have survived intact was comforting.

All those faces, all those old friends and acquaintances, the people he hadn't seen in years… They reminded him of the past. The life he used to live. His mind went back to Manchester, the days before he made the move down south with Chris and Ray. Life seemed very different back then. His world seemed very different too. He recalled a conversation with Simon some months earlier where he'd described things as being more tangible, the worlds being so much more closely linked back then. Things that happened in this world seemed to be able to cross over to the living one. But then they seemed to drift apart.

In recent months it seems as though the worlds had been drawing closer together again. Bleedthroughs, flashes, voices – he didn't understand why those things had been happening but the worlds were passing more closely together than they had in years.

He set down his glass as he thought about the struggles ahead. Their plans for Keats were ambitious but they seemed to be the best they'd had so far. They didn't know how they were going to get Keats a demotion, nor what tactic they would take to make sure his wings stayed clipped after that but this was the first time they really felt the end of their battle was close.

Gene got to his feet. If he thought about Jimbo any more for one night he'd be having nightmares until morning. He turned to Alex.

"Bedtime, Lady B," he said.

~xXx~

'_Those who live without fear of consequence will always find their worries catch up with them in the end.'_

Alex slipped down between the covers and pulled her knees up a little to try to soothe her discomfort. She watched Gene undressing and pulled the duvet around her shoulders. As he climbed in beside her and began to make some comments expressing his interest in engaging in some sexual activities within the next few minutes Alex gave some weak excuses and hoped that he would leave it for one night.

Even with her recently rampant libido she wasn't in the mood. She didn't feel up to it, and certainly didn't feel very sexy. She wasn't herself and hadn't been in days, maybe a couple of weeks really. She hadn't even noticed at first, just thought she was feeling a little off or run down, but things became steadily more notable until she lay there that night, feeling downright lousy.

She felt her eyes closing, her body exhausted and drained. It had been a tough day but even so she was lacking energy to a serious degree. Maybe she was a little anaemic or something? Or maybe it was the repercussions of the mouldy pasta. Her stomach still felt off – her belly felt swollen and heavy and she couldn't stand the thought of eating anythig that night. She'd blamed Gene's egg sandwiches for giving her wind but in reality she knew he'd only had two bites.

She could hear Gene wittering on in the background about his excellent bar skills and how ungrateful Sam had been about his pint of foam but she wasn't really taking it in. her eyes were closed now, her body giving in to the exhaustion and sleep taking her far away for the night.

Something was sapping her. She wished she could get some of her strength back. Maybe she needed a break or a holiday. Whatever was draining her she just wanted to feel like her normal self again. As her body weakened she started to worry about her grip on the world.

Just as she passed form consciousness into sleep she heard one loud beep, like the sound of a machine. It came from nowhere; was it in her mind? It forced her eyes wide open in shock for a moment, but nothing else followed so she closed her eyes again and let sleep chase it away. A good night's sleep. That's what she needed. She'd feel better in the morning, she was sure.

~xXx~

'_Those who live without fear of consequence lead others into heartbreak.'_

As the music played out and their bodies moved in time with a thousand others, Kim and Shaz couldn't have felt closer if they tried. Their eyes never parted, the smiles never left their faces and their hands couldn't stay away from each other's bodies. They danced, they kissed, they felt each other's heartbeat racing as they held each other close.

The day had terrified them both – for Shaz, the attack that almost took her life had taught her a lesson about her own mortality, while for Kim thinking she had lost her had shown her once and for all how she really felt. She had never felt this happy in her life. Never felt so close to someone. Never been so enchanted by another person.

As the music reached fever pitch and Shaz's beautiful eyes smiled just as much as her red lips Kim felt something explode within her heart and she couldn't stop the words from escaping. They were the kind of words that she had as much trouble expressing as Gene Hunt did. But, unlike Gene, she wasn't going to wait ten years to say them.

She brought Shaz closer, wrapped her hands around her face and drew her close to whisper them into her ear. They were words that she never thought she would say to another but they came so easily now.

"_I love you, Shaz,"_ she breathed.

As the young brunette whispered them back to her Kim thought her heart might just explode. She felt for the first time as though her life was complete, her heart full and her joy reaching a level she never even thought she deserved. Dancing the night away, she wished that every single night could be so full of love and closeness. Right there, right then, she felt as though she'd lived her whole life waiting for that moment. She was in a place for the dead and the dying, and yet she'd never felt so alive.

As they held each other close and let the music take them over she was far too absorbed in the moment to hear the noise; the machine in the background or the voice that spoke.

"…_Reacting well now, we're reducing the medication. Should be regaining consciousness soon, but we'll have to wait and see…"_

Those were words that she ignored. Words she didn't hear.

They were words that once she'd have given anything to burst through to her thoughts, but _now?_

Now all she could hear was her heartbeat as she held her lover in her arms. And that was the only sound she wanted to her.

~xXx~

'_Someone who lives without fear of consequence will find that the future is not their friend.'_

As he turned and walked away from the club he felt the humanity sliding away again. It was taking more time to fight it now and the spells of emotion were becoming stronger and harder to beat. He had to stop that. He couldn't let them take control. Otherwise he stood to lose everything.

He walked away at speed, trying to block Kim and her new lover from his mind. It didn't do to dwell on that. Not when he had bigger things to deal with.

He'd lived without fear of consequence for far too long. And now all those consequences were busily chasing his tail. He needed to outrun them, to get back the threads of his life that were trying to escape him. It was time to take control.

But every time those emotions came bursting through he knew that there was every chance he might not win through this time.

"Someone who lives without fear of consequence," he whispered, "will find themselves at a dead end. And when they can't run any longer there can be only one result."

Meltdown.

**~xXx~ The End! ~xXx~**

_**A/N: I wanted to say a massive thanks to everyone who has followed this story, and in fact the whole series so far. Even bigger thanks and a selection of fishy biscuits to everyone who has taken the time to review – I know that readership and reviews for A2A stories has dropped off a lot in the last year (I kind of think I got into this at the wrong time! Ha, I always come in too late) so I am really grateful for you taking the time to leave your thoughts – it's helped keep me going.**_

_**Special thanks to Oceancounty, MorganaNK, Fenella Church, Sash queen of the jungle, Baibe, Jointhehunt, Sillygenie, Rantandrumour, Quattro Queen and anyone I've forgotten. Also massive thanks to Charlotte and Noemi for following and for all your kind words!**_

_**I have appreciated this even more than usual over the last few weeks because a spell of really crappy health and a very worrying time through this pregnancy have meant that I've been relying on writing this to give me focus and help me cope with everything. Sometimes writing fiction seems to be the only thing that I can do, and I think I would have gone crazy if I'd still been in the depths of writer's block. Now I just need to survive Monday! Fingers crossed that all will be well and I can finally relax.**_

_**There will be a sequel… I'm so predictable! :P The next story following on from here will be darker (more along the tone of Whispering Her Name) so I will remind you of my philosophy, that it's OK to be as mean as I like to the characters as long as everything works out in the end! Watch out for the first chapter going up later or tomorrow, and I am also still writing an original story with Robin and Kim on Fiction Press under the same pen name (link on my profile) for NaNoWriMo.**_

_**Thank you again for following this journey – I hope you enjoyed the ride! -x-**_


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